Was it wrong of me to interfere?

Question

My 17 year old little sister is pregnant. She continues to smoke saying that she turned out just fine and her mom smoked (my step mom) although our little brother is retarded. Anyway, she just wont get educated about it, and only listens to her little friends. I called her OB and told him that she is still smoking and needs to be educated about the harms this could cause to her baby. So the next time she goes into the doctor, I'm sure he is going to let her have it! Should I have just stayed out of it? My parents are angry with me, after all they are the ones who supply her habbit. Should I just stop trying to talk to her about it?

Answer 1

I would get as much material together on smoking and give it to your parents. If they were backing you, your sister might be more willing to listen. I don't think you were wrong to call her OB.

What might be a good idea is tell your parents and your sister that you should all go to her next appointment and if the OB agrees that smoking is ok for her, you will get off her back.

If they won't go, then it's clear that they know what she is doing is wrong. Someone has to be looking out for this baby. I wouldn't feel bad about doing anything you have to do. Simply tell them you are only thinking of this baby and it is nothing personal against anyone. Good luck....what a tricky situation. I hope you get some where with all this.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to say but it really is not any of you business. If she wants to quit she will. Quiting isn't about anything other then your mind. (I know I smoke.) If she really wanted to quit she would and could stop. She knows that it's bad for the baby and obviously (by making the decision to still smoke) is willing to take full responsibility in her child has issues due to what she did. She will have to deal with the problems--if there are any--not you. It is an issue between her doctor and her, it has nothing to do with you. So I suggest you just leave it alone--it will only make her feel worse and not want to be around you.

I quit smoking during my pregnancy. It was extremely hard. I smoked a few when I got stressed (my husband was deployed and I was very stressed) but like I said it's mind over matter. My son is healthy and happy. I would also like to add--my mother smoked (full flavor) all through her pregnancies with both my sister and I. We don't have asthma or any other complications. Of course when my sister and I were born she didn't know any better because there was no research out there. I actually know quite a few people that had parents smoke all through pregnancy and have NO defects what so ever.

Telling her doctor wasn't bad. It was just something that you did. The doctor can not make her not smoke. He can just advise her not to. This isn't up to you.

Answer 3

I didnt smoke at all with my first 2 but my 3rd child i quite 3 months before he was born but when i found out i was almost 4 months pregnant when my son was born he was fine but everything started when he was 3 months old he was put in Albany med in the pediatric icu he had an ear infection and his bronculur tubes were closing they say it wasnt my fault but i think other wise my first 2 were health no problems with breathing at all but also now my son has to have a steriod treatment once a day i just had another baby 5 months ago hes had a cold for a little over a month now but nothing serious we have to wait til winter to see if its gonna happen to him to so with her smoking it can go either way but she should really stop smoking atleast til she has the baby thats what i did and i DO NOT smoke around any of my kids and neither does anyone else well i wish you luck

Answer 4

No it was not wrong of you I think it makes you a great sister that you care that much keep on talking to her about the bad things cigarettes can cause one of my friends smoke when she was pregnant so I found out everything I could know about it and told her she still didnt stop but everything I told her was true her doctor even said so not only do you have a lower birth weight baby you could have your baby early due to smoking and also every time you puff in a smoke you babys heart stops for those few seconds as you puff the smoke in and thats an ugly thought that she should think about but people like her dont because they are selfish and only think of themselve but good luck shes lucky to have a sister like you.

Answer 5

Wow, that was a bold move to call her Doctor!! Kudos to you!! And SHAME ON YOUR PARENTS !! They should be supporting you, not her smoking habits. We can already assume that she needs a little tough love anyway being that she's 17 and pregnant. If I were you, I'd print out some pics of what happens to babies when the mother smokes and give them to her. There are also on line support groups for women who've had miscarriages. Let her read some of those women's stories and bring it to her attention how devastating it will be if she looses the baby due to smoking. I agree with what you've done, and I think it takes a very loving sister to put up with the rest of the family to do it.

Answer 6

You did the right thing. You're trying to protect the life of a child, who WILL be harmed by the smoke one way or another. (Nevermind the health of your sister!) However, the doctor cannot force your sister to do anything, so don't expect her to quit. Smoking is an addiction, and likely she cannot quit--especially given the stress of pregnancy at age 17.

Your best chances are to use your time online to search for evidence of how smoking hurts a fetus. Download pictures, read articles, etc. as if this was a vital class project. Then present the evidence to your parents and try to convert them. With parents on your side, it'll be easier to help protect the child. Good luck, and don't give up! You're right!

Answer 7

I believe you did this cause you are concerned for her safety and the baby as well. I smoke some while pregnant and it will or can cause the baby problems with his growth. Now calling the doctor I cannot say cause this is a family issue. I will not say that you were wrong but that you did what was best in interest of sister and unborn baby.

Answer 8

You did what your conscious told you to. Having said that, you can maybe get a few brochures on why drinking and smoking and how it can affect an unborn child.

I didn't smoke or drink and lost my first baby at 8 months gestation, I'm glad I didn't smoke because I might have blamed myself for this. And never mind smoking while pregnant I remember mothers feeding their babies baby food with a cigarette burning nearby, in the ashtray and them smoking at the same time, we've come a long way baby.

It has been proven that smoking mother's babies are smaller at birth.

Answer 9

Nope. I don't think you were out of line. You wouldn't encourage a newborn to smoke, so she shouldn't be smoking while she's pregnant. She has a higher responsibility now. if she doesnt' care about her own health, fine, but smoking does complicate pregnancy. It cause intrauterine growth retardation, which results in very small babies. And babies with no fat have great difficulty maintaining their body temperature. And at the very least, smokers have incredibly crabby babies for a few days.

So you keep on her about it.

Answer 10

Yeah it was... That's a personal decession she made. Your brother probley isn't retarded from your mom smoking. There are when you smoke and are prego. Retardedness isn't one of them. It's good her doctor knows but she should have been the one to tell him and if she wasn't going to you shouldn't have interferred. I smoked while pregnant (I cut down to 3 cigs a day and was able to quit for a month but i couldn't stick to it) I tried to quit I felt guilty but other people talking to me about it or judging me didn't help in fact it just made me want to light another one. You should try to stay out of it SHE"S the mother of her baby not you... She gets to make that decession not you... I let my doctor know I was smoking... She couldn't make me quit... I had to do that on my own. By the way my son is just fine no health problems what so ever. I know it was a gamble and i still feel guilty but I know that i'm only human and there are worse things i could have done.