Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you are really ill. In fact, you haven't got long to live".
Patient: "Oh my God! How long have I got?"
Doctor: "Ten".
Patient: Oh My GOD!! Ten what? Years? Months? Days?"
Doctor: "Nine".
2006-09-27 15:11:16 · 33 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha........ oh **** i cant breath cough cough............help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
computer reminder: please take your head of the computer!!
2006-09-27 15:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A physician passed away and was being screened for the destination of his soul's eternal afterlife. Unfortunately, he'd been a bit of a lout, a quack, and greedy to boot, so he wasn't quite certain what to expect. Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter greeted him, and informed the Doctor that he would be allowed to choose from one of the doors before him, but that because of his greed and misdeeds he may find the choices rather hellish. Upon opening door #1, he witnessed fire and brimstone of truly Biblical proportions, a horrifying sight, and quickly closed it. Upon viewing the spectacle behind door #2, he was even more horrified to observe various tortured souls ravaged by plague, disease and other maladies to terrible to mention, while an evil guard stood watch. With trepidation he opened Door #3 to discover therein groups of white-coated male physicians, being waited on hand and foot by beautiful young women dressed in little more than nursing caps! He rushed excitedly back to saint Peter and proclaimed, "I'll take door #3!" "Oh, no, I'm afraid that's not possible," exclaimed Saint Peter. "That's NURSES' Hell!"
2006-09-27 15:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is never enough time in a doctors surgury is there. yes its nearly funny, says a lot about the inadaqecy of the doctors four minute consultation. This patient was lucky he got all day
2006-09-27 15:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny like this one a greedy man lived his whole life amassing his wealth and he told his wife ,wife when i die I want you to convert all my wealth into gold bars and bury it with me so when i get on the other side i will be well taken care of so the wife being a faithful and honorable wife did just as the man had asked she converted all his earthly holdings into gold bars and buried it with him. now when the man reached the pearly gates he strolled up to St Peter and said hey how much is the biggest mansion in this place and St Peter replied well how ever much it is you cant afford it the man was dumb founded are you blind man don't you see this pile of gold bricks i have with me i am rolling in wealth then St Peter replied no sir you are as poor as a street urchin but we do appreciate you bringing up more paving for the streets.
2006-09-27 16:09:35 · answer #4 · answered by J B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about as funny as.
Doctor"im sorry to have to tell you this, you have only about 3 minutes to live"
patient there must be something you can do for me ?
Doctor " i can do you a soft boiled egg"
2006-09-27 15:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by ladymac 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is just as funny as this one:
Man goes to doctor for checkup and doctor calls his wife in to explain man's condition.
Doctor: "now mrs. smith your husband is suffering from this condition and it is imperative that you do whatever your husband requires you to do for his well being."
Mrs. Smith: "I understand doctor"
When the man asks his wife what the doctor said she replies, "the doctor said you're gonna die"
2006-09-27 15:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice
2006-09-28 01:35:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes..funny
Doctor: We got the results of your urine test. It is my advice that you need to quit drinking.
Patient: Why is that?
Doctor: There was an olive in it.
2006-09-27 19:07:03 · answer #8 · answered by Yafunee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont usually get jokes but this raised a smile even though ive been awake for more than 24hours right now should really go to bed
2006-09-27 16:21:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uh-oh
2006-09-27 15:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahaha.
2006-09-27 23:31:36 · answer #11 · answered by Hardrock 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋