My brother is 17, I am 24. I have custody of my brother because he got into trouble with the courts and could not live with my mom any more. He never got into trouble before this, but you only have to do something wrong once. Anyway, he is getting failing grades in class, and My rules are that you have to have at least c's. So today I went to his school and set up something they call "tracking sheets" This is where they have him take a paper to all of his classes every day and they say wether or not he has homework, and if he was on time, and how his behavior is in class. I am having him do this, due to his failing grades, then he brings it to me and I sign it, and he takes it back to school the next day, and he thinks that it is singling him out. He is mad. Did I do the right thing?
2006-09-27 14:31:53 · 17 answers · asked by sr22racing 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Hell Yeah, You are his guardian, although there is not a large age difference it is your responsibility to make sure he is doing what needs to be done. Tell him, if he doesnt like it, then get up his grades and he wont have too. I am sure there are some other issues going on with him beyond the grades, perhaps some counseling with him and you can help him work through some of those things too. But you were right, you are the boss, and he needs to follow your rules. Keep strong and he will learn to do what needs to be done.....
Kudos to you for taking on that responsibility, not many could or would be able to handle it, keep up the good work...
2006-09-27 14:39:46 · answer #1 · answered by rottie110 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can see how a tracking sheet would be embarassing to him. Maybe you can get some input from him on another solution to his failing grades. Maybe he can fill out the sheet without getting it signed so that you two can look at his assignments together.
I am a house parent at a group home and we use these tracking sheets fairly often with our kids when they are struggling in school. We were warned however, not to use them when the child is in high school (unless the child is in special ed classes) because they are embarassing and humiliation is typically going to undo any good that they will do.
As others have said, he is almost a man and will be out of school. I know its hard to pull back sometimes, but natural consequences work better than most of our tactics and lectures. But you can make those natural consequenses more apparant (ex. bad grades = more study time = less free time)
Good luck
2006-09-27 16:27:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely! It is so great of you to not only take on the responsibility of raising a 17 year old when you are only 24, but to go into the school and make him accountable for his actions and help him as much as you can to stay out of trouble and succeed his life is wonderful!
He is going to be mad at you, he's a teenager! It isnt that big of a deal, he will get over it!
I was in a similar situation, raising 2 of my brothers (and still am) begining 3 years ago when my mom had a stroke. I had a 3 year old, but going from him to 3 kids, ages 9 & 12 at the time, and being thrown into Parent Teacher Conferences, PTA, and every thing else that comes along with school age kids was crazy at first!
Good Luck! You should be really proud of yourself for taking care of him and doing so much!
2006-09-27 15:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by dmercer12679 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, in my opinion, I think you didn't do the right thing. I think that kind of action should be used when he keeps on getting bad grades and doesn't get better. I think you should let him figure out what he should do before setting up the "tracking sheet" thing. I think the reason why he is getting bad grades is that (I think) he is getting used to the situation and that he needs time to re-adjust to everything. Then if he doesn't get any better then that's when you should do that whole "tracking sheets" thing. Just my opinion. He IS 17 so he should know the difference between what he is doing wrong and what he is doing right. And if he doesn't figure it out, then use the "tracking sheets" method thing. As I said before, just my opinion.
2006-09-27 14:39:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the actuality that the toddler concerns with regard to the mummy shows that someplace alongside the line she has grow to be the discern. some style of a deal could be made with the daughter to furnish it a great gamble residing with dad. Say, according to probability a twelve months. If she can't develop and be chuffed for the period of that element different arrangements could be made yet i think of she could be made to furnish it a great gamble. with a bit of luck, the mummy will enable her some peace in this time, or i might curtail the telephone calls because of the fact toddlers are so adaptable i don't have confidence it may well be a twelve months and a one million/2 combat, yet whether it have been isn't she nicely worth it?
2016-10-01 10:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by vanderbilt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kinda! Taking him in YES, having to sign a paper every day NO, he is 17 almost a man. I had to take in my sis (I was 19,she was 15,both parent's died) And boy was it hard! But you have to get through the hard time's. Is he having problem's with kid's @ school? Mabey he can switch a class? He is very close to graduation I am sure. Tell him to hang in there,it will be over soon! Good luck to you & your brother!
2006-09-27 14:37:53 · answer #6 · answered by babyN 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing!!!! Unfortunately you are not his sister any more (kind of) - you are his parent & there is a HUGE difference. You're going to have to do things that he doesn't like quite a bit in the future. Remember since you have custody of him now you are responsible for raising him & he may not like some of the things you say but that is TOO BAD - you are the parent. I think you are doing a wonderful thing for your brother. Hang in there!!
2006-09-27 15:47:03 · answer #7 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you did. You are showing him you will take action to help him to get his grades up. You are singling him out, but in a good way, because you are showing him his school work matters and that his school work is important. You are showing him you CARE.
2006-09-27 14:41:29 · answer #8 · answered by joni38 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let him be mad, you are trying to help him in school. He will get over it, that is just how 17 year olds are. I think you are doing the right thing.
2006-09-27 14:49:42 · answer #9 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes, you did the right thing. you might want to also have a long talk with him about the school situation. not a lecture, but a heart to heart. try and get him motivated about school. tell him how important school is, and that he deserves the best of everything--even education. also, you might consider getting him a tutor, or a mentor.
good luck
2006-09-27 15:48:45 · answer #10 · answered by butwhatdoiknow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋