I have a 6 year old son that has been in trouble almost everyday this school year. He doesn't listen to his teacher, or adults, can't concentrate, and picks fights with other peers. His father and I are going through a divorce since January and I know that is affecting him. What should I do? I tried the taking away toys, tv, spanking, grounding and all that.
2006-09-27 14:14:31 · 34 answers · asked by ecofriendlygirl 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
well his dad was abusive to both of us and now his father cares more about the dog than he does his own son. I left because of the abuse.
2006-09-30 07:43:43 · update #1
Talk to him. Don't punish him for it because he's just going through a tough time seeing his parents splitting. Talk to him and ask him to tell you what's bothering him so that he can express himself through words instead of picking fights.
2006-09-27 14:18:11 · answer #1 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My son went through that in first grade, about 2 years after his dad and I seperated. I think that he was just trying to get used to the transition into first grade and unable to express himself the way he needed to, so he was angry and disruptive and disrespectful to the adults he was around. I put him in karate, and got him into counseling, and his dad made a point of having him around more... it kinda worked. I tried taking away privledges, and he would just find something else to do- he didn't care! So, I took everything away, and gave him some stuff back everytime he earned it, started praising him for the good decisions he made, and at the same time I was a total stickler from the rules and any time a rule was broken, consequences were given. And his teacher and daycare provider were both totally on board. Anyway, he's doing better now. We still have our days. And his counselor thinks there may be an underlying issue like ADD, but we're not jumpin' to conculsions.
So, my point is... try different things out. Talk to his teacher, talk to pediatricians, talk to counselors, read books, talk to HIM, but be the parent. Don't overdo it because of the divorce. Give him consequences for his actions, and don't back down. I know, it's not what any single mom wants to hear because we just want our kids to be happy, especially with us, but if you don't catch it now it will get out of hand.
Good luck.
2006-09-27 18:32:38 · answer #2 · answered by sokkermum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your son is probably having a harder time then you think with the divorce. I think you should talk to your school first of all and see if there are any programs that could help him one on one with anything that might be effecting him at home. I am no longer with the father of my two children and the only thing that has helped my oldest who remembers more of her mother and father being together is a program at school that is casual and they can talk about anything that is bothering them with this women, the things that run through a childs head are sometimes amazing. give him a while and make sure he has someone to talk to that you trust and let him work it out on his own and come to you when he is ready. As far as punishments go try and figure out why he is acting this way! does it bring mom and dad to talking about it or does it bring other attention that he might otherwise not have? Make sure you are praising the good things!
2006-09-27 16:38:52 · answer #3 · answered by Bonnie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you and your ex sit down with him, explain that you both still love him and always will, and talk to him about school. Ask him to explain the problem. Could your ex and you spend some time in his classroom in the next week or so? The kid seems confused, and looking for attention, even if its bad attention for bad behaviour. Is he wondering where he'll live? You and your ex need to provide a united front on what his punishment will be if the behaviour continues, and I know this is hard when you're going thru a divorce. But your son is worth it.
2006-09-27 17:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by talula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is what you should do:
Sit him down calmly and ask him what is going on with him in
school.
No matter what it is, try to get the guidence counselor invoved.
He/She can help keep track of your son and put him in the right
direction. Also, divorces do affect kids. Try explaining what
happened with the divorce. Just say, "Daddy and I were not
getting along well, and we had some disagreements and have
decided to not live together any more". Again, try to get the
school guidence counselor involved.
2006-09-28 08:51:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
take a deep breathe and say Holdup. he's six years old. he needs attention. he feels that you and his father will not be there for him because of the divorce. it's hard for the teacher to give this young mind her 1on1 due to the fact that she has other children to worry about. also your feelings are showing when it comes down to his father and yourself. it's hard to understand when your parents are separating at such a young age. maybe he feels it's his fault or maybe yours since he's still with you. Please, don't take the only things he considers his to try to straighten him out. You and YOUR EX-TO BE need to sit down with him and explain the best way you could why you're separatingand assure him it's not his fault. assure him that you'll both be there for him no matter what and see if his attitude will change.Key word:attention
2006-09-27 14:40:32 · answer #6 · answered by tanyahurt76 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has trouble adjusting and at his age he cannot reason with was is happening, sometimes children think it's their fault why the parents divorce, because they don't love him anymore. What he needs is reassurance, love, communication and if that doesn't help he needs to see a psychologist. He doesn't know how to deal with his problems, therefore he resorts to anger because he knows that will give him the attention which he so much craves.
2006-09-27 16:40:29 · answer #7 · answered by Mightymo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most behaviors are formed in the first 5-6 years of a childs life - he saw you fight - he learned to fight - you two parents need to change the way you communicate with each other - at least while he is around.. he doesnt understand everything that is going on, he doesnt know what is right or wrong
he is acting out because he needs you guys to be a team not adversaries... punishing him isnt going to help, setting a proper example will - you and your hubby should get counciling - DONT fight.. if its easier for you to give in.. just give in.. you dont need the car... or what ever - dont be petty - dont take your anger at the divorce/failed marriage out on your husband ...
2006-09-27 14:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by CF_ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am no doctor, but I remember reading in a nutrition book that a lot of "bad" behavior in children can be linked back to their diet. I can't remember the name of the book, so I did some searching on the web and found this: http://www.cwla.org/articles/cv0503managing.htm
Check out the section "The Real Key--Anger Prevention", there is a mention of how a child's diet can affect anger.
Also, there is a good thread on this out in Yahoo Answers: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060915081029AAoPKsP
I have no kids so I am nowhere near an expert on this, but I thought those links might help.
2006-09-27 14:23:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes the problem of the child can be traced from the parents....now you are getting a divorce...your child is affected of the situation....He wants to get an attention from both of you guys....Getting a divorce..at the end it's the children who is suffered....If you are thinking for the future of your son....try to get some help...because your son will grow..with no path for the right direction..t.c.
2006-09-27 14:21:26 · answer #10 · answered by xrae12 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is quite possible that your son is reacting with the divorce. It is very tough to deal with this situation. A technique has been well studied and has applied to many children with behavioral problems.
You should find a provider who has must experience in "Parent-Child Interaction Techniques". This is a techniques that help parents to re-tune negative child behavior. This really works, look into it.
2006-09-27 15:28:11 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋