The bridal shower is supposed to be the honor attendant's responsibility, but it's not proper for a family member to throw the shower... so I'm supposed to or I'm not supposed to? What do you think?
2006-09-27 14:01:01 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
not proper as in bad etiquette...
2006-09-27 14:11:12 · update #1
Honey, you throw your sister the best damn shower you can! If no one else is giving her one, then you have pick up the slack, and put the shopping shoes on because every bride deserves at least one shower.
Where I live the groom's family has one and then the bride's family has one. Then if they are members of a church then the church holds one. My daughter's church gave her a very large one, so the family's just attended theirs. Then I gave my daughter one for my friends. I have some a bunch of crazy friends that love my little girl to death, but are uncomfortable with the "proper" wedding shower party. So, I had a come as you are shower for her. On the invites, I put no make-up, no leg crossing allowed, no tea cake cookies, no punch with fruit floating in it...it was bring your own bottle if you don't want strawberry daquiris or white russians, we had cheesecake, crab dip and crackers, chocolates of every kind, fresh strawberries, In other words, we had junk food, everyone brought their favorite comfort food, and we just sat back and talked and laughed and even cried a little.
I had made up questions for a book of advice for my daughter, and we read our answers, and had lively discussions about married life. Some of the questions were serious and so of them funny. They were like -how to get your man to turn off the tv and turn you on instead/ what to do when your in-laws are acting like outlaws. I typed up all the answers and put the pictures from the shower into a scrapbook for her. My daughter, loved it. She said that was the most relaxing time she had since we had started planning the wedding..That was what I was after....oh, I told the girls they could wear their pjs, no one showed in pjs, but we wore cut-offs, and t-shirts, or jeans...we took off our shoes, and just had a great time. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
So, honey, you just go ahead and hold your sister a shower, and have a great time. With a caring sister like you, I can see why she choose you as matron of honor. Good luck, and best wishes...
God bless us all..............
2006-09-28 02:18:05 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, being the maid of honor overrides being family. You should throw it, with the help of the other bridesmaids.
Besides, the bad ettiquette of family not throwing the shower is being more acceptable. It mainly used to apply to the mom, and to a bit still does. But I haven't heard that it's not okay for a sister to throw a shower.
EDIT: Judging from a previous question of yours, I gather that you are planning on throwing a card shower for your sister because she won't be attending her own bridal shower. If that's what you really want to do, then you're going to do it. But please, don't "throw a shower." Just collect cards from the people you would invite and mail them all off in one big package. Don't host a gathering to have a shower if the bride won't be there. I can almost gurantee you that the people who've been asking when you are throwing the shower do not realize that the bride won't be in attendance.
2006-09-28 02:59:09 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Another of the bridesmaids. Someone who is not a family member.
But, they have to VOLUNTEER to throw one. No one is to be forced to host a shower.
EDIT: Wait... you asked about showers earlier--- you said the bride isn't even going to BE there! And then you started talking about making is a CASH-ONLY SHOWER for the absent bride?! WTH?! That would be SUCH bad manners.
Hon, sorry, but WHY are you so bent on having a shower for an *absent* guest of honor, who is ALREADY having one shower in another location, which is plenty?
What about if you throw her a little ladies-night-out bachelorette party, or a bridal tea the week she gets back? Those are both a non-gifts type of party, so a family member CAN throw it.
Are you going to listen to a bunch of clueless teenagers on the Internet, or the words of a published etiquette authority?
2006-09-27 15:31:38 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's usually the maid/matron of honor and mother who throw the shower together. Who said it's not proper for a family member to throw the shower?
2006-09-27 14:08:54 · answer #4 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say (after being through a wedding of my own, and being the maid of honor in my sister's wedding)... anyone who is comfortable and close to the bride should do it.
In my case, all of my attendants got together and with help from my mom (getting the list of people) threw me an amazing one!
I would talk to your sister about what she wants... how she wants it done, and if there is anyone specifically she wants to invite.
This does NOT have to be a big "to do"... if you are worried about money, make it an afternoon when it could be at someone's house.... on the other end of the extreme you could always rent some place that would cater a more lavish affair!
Good luck, and I hope the wedding (and marriage) is beautiful!
2006-09-27 14:05:32 · answer #5 · answered by Glory 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my kinfolk the aunts throw the bathe. i became the maid of honor for my sisters wedding ceremony and there is not any way i might have had the time or know-how to throw the bathe. i became 20 3 hundred and sixty 5 days old college pupil. if your sister desires to throw you a shower then only have her do it with the different bridesmaids.
2016-10-18 02:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by shine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is customary for the Matron of Honor/Maid of Honor to throw the bridal shower. You can look it up in "The Book of etiiquette" by Lillian Eichler.
It is also customary for thier to be a theme of the party..ie...southern ladies would do a tea party or such. I did a Hawaiian Theme and had grass skirts and drinks.
You might also check out Bridial magazine they have some good stuff in there.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 14:13:33 · answer #7 · answered by soulmate_n_nc 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Bridal Shower Etiquette
(For the Bride and Hostess)
Just like everything having to do with weddings there is even etiquette for bridal showers - who to invite, who not to invite, when, where, etc. Both the bride and hostess can find adhering to bridal shower etiquette difficult, which is why we have decided to list the answers to all your questions on bridal shower etiquette in this issue of the Cost-Effective Bride.
* Note: The bridal shower etiquette advice listed here is a more modern twist to some of the traditional rules. Consult a wedding etiquette book (for example, "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette") for the traditional rules.
Who can throw a Bridal Shower?
Traditionally, bridal shower etiquette says that close family members of the bride (sisters and moms) are not supposed to throw a shower for the bride. But, for many brides, there simply is no one else who can or is willing to do it. Therefore, anyone who wants to throw a shower can, bearing in mind that if there are plenty of people who would like to throw a shower for the bride, then the mother and sisters should take a backseat. Bridesmaids do traditionally throw the bride a shower.
When should a Bridal Shower be held?
Ideally, the bridal shower would be held 1-2 months before the wedding, but there is nothing wrong with it being held more in advance, provided that the bride can attend.
Who should be invited to the bridal shower?
The mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom should always be invited to the shower - along with the bride, of course! (As well as step-mothers on both sides.)
Sisters of the bride and groom are also generally invited to every bridal shower, but have the option of choosing to attend just one.
People who are not invited to the wedding should not be invited to the bridal shower.
Other than that, the bride and hostess should work together to come up with the guest list for the bridal shower. Numbers should be kept within the hostess' budget (brides, be respectful of their wishes!) and hostess' you should clearly set this limit from the beginning.
Couples showers are becoming more popular, but keep in mind that this can double the guest list.
Where should the bridal shower be held?
Really there is no bridal shower etiquette rule on this. The one exception I would make is that you should never ask people to pay for their meal at a shower. So, if it is not in your budget to have the shower at a restaurant, no matter what the bride prefers, don't!
Are gifts given at Bridal Showers?
Of course! This is, actually, the point of bridal showers - to "shower" the bride with gifts as a way to help her start her new life on the right foot. If you cannot attend a bridal shower, there are varying opinions on whether or not you should still send a gift. When in doubt, send one! The bride won't forget that you remembered.
Bridal Shower Invitations:
(Check out our CEB on "How to Emboss Elegant Wedding Invitations" in order to get ideas on making your own shower invitations.)
The same rules that apply to addressing wedding invitations apply to shower invitations:
One invitation per guest (even if they live within the same household, unless 16 or under).
Hand address the invitations
Use the formal name of invitees (Mrs. Jane Smith, rather than Jane Smith)
Send invitations with at least a month of lead-time.
Include an address and phone number for guests to call for directions and to RSVP to.
You can include the bride's registry information printed or hand-written on the invitation. Do not include the tacky cards that stores will give you to put in the invitations.
Bridal Shower Games:
Games are not a required part of a bridal shower, however, they often serve the purpose of breaking the ice with a group of people that may not all know each other. If games are not going to be played, at least begin the shower with introductions. As a side comment, if games are played prizes are generally given out. (Check out our CEB on "Free Bridal Party Games".)
Thank You Notes:
Thank you notes are absolutely required for each person you receive a gift from. If several people go in on a gift with one another, you must write each person a thank you. Send the "Thank Yous" within a couple of weeks of the shower. And, don't forget an extra special thank you for the hostess of the shower. Finally, I have heard it said that it is rude for the hostess to ask the guests to write their name and address on an envelope at the shower, but I personally think this is a wonderful idea. The bride has a lot going on in her life and this little bit of help can save her a lot of time. One great idea is to take the envelopes with the names and addresses on them and make it into a raffle for a prize. Pull one name out of the pile and give them a favor. (Check out our CEB on "How to Write Wedding Thank You Notes".)
I hope that helps you out and answers all of your bridal shower etiquette questions! If you do not see the answer to your question here, please let me know - kelly@bwedd.com - I would be happy to answer your
2006-09-27 16:29:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who said it's not proper for family to throw the shower? They are usually the ones that do it if the Maid/Matron of honor doesn't.
2006-09-27 14:02:45 · answer #9 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
the matron of honor is usually the one who throws the bridal shower.
2006-09-27 15:43:37 · answer #10 · answered by missg 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋