Have any of you ever been in a state where you're stuck in a relationship where you love the person so much, but there is a condition in the relationship that makes you suffer, something that you can't change, and you feel you probably can't stay, but at the same time you can't or don't want to move on ..Even if you move on, you feel that you're ready to get back at the first call , or at the first sight of the person...? Have any of you ever experienced that in a relationship? Is it common or normal to be in a long time of ambivalent state ..?
2006-09-27 13:20:29 · 4 answers · asked by bobby s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, I know exactly what you mean,
Im in that type of relationship at the moment, I love him dearly, but Im misserable and we have so many problems, Im trying to find the strength to leave him for good.
But everytime I see him, I forget all about the bad parts of our relationship.
2006-09-27 13:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are not careful, you will be an older person still stuck and life will have passed you by. I don't condone leaving relationships that are mutual and loving at the drop of a hat but I do understand being in a rut and having to either deal with and accept the things that you cannot change in the relationship that bothers you or move on even if it may hurt in the beginning. I think that sometimes we hold on to things too long and we miss the very lessons we need to learn to make our lives better and the person for us we will never meet because we stay somewhere else too too long. Again, I don't like divorce or ending a relationship but in my experiences, I have learned many lessons that will make me a much happier and wiser person when the right one comes. If that person you are with is for you, talk about the problems, work them out, and live life because tomorrow is not promised.
2006-09-27 13:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by daydreamer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is common. I'm going through it also, basically for the past five years..off and on, off and on. It is extremely painful yet I can't part from him, it's like cutting off a piece of me. My mother explains it that he is like a cancer and would I keep cancer in my body just because it is part of me...kind of morbid but she has a point. Things are especially confusing if you have a child, like we do. I feel for you, I understand. I am personally hoping that I will get a sign as to where I need to move on or continue in this...even if the sign hits like a ton of bricks, I can recover from a concussion!
There are so many good things but do they outweigh the bad? People always suggest making a list. Some fears for me are, is there someone else out there that I could connect with on as many levels as I connect on with him, despite our hurtful past? Can he really change the person he is, even if he says he wants to and is trying? Will I be happy with him knowing what has happened in the past? Faith and fear are connected. I'm trying to have faith right now that I will be guided where I'm supposed to be, but it is hard to have the patience. Like you said, it is hard when they call and it seems like you can't remember anymore why you wouldn't want to be with him. It is also hard to know when you are being manipulated (conscious or un by them) and when they are sincere. Good luck to you!
2006-09-27 14:24:43 · answer #3 · answered by daisy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yes! This has happened to me quite a bit as of lately, I figure (even though you might want to) if they are hurting you you should talk about it first and if they refuse to change then i guess there's nothing you can do except move on. It's hard and you will want to go back to them so fast but you have to remember the time where he was hurting you to make you stay away. it's hard but best of luck! :)
2006-09-27 13:25:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋