Crying right now, please help me...?

Question

My parents are litterally control freaks. i am not kidding. They tell me when to brush my teath. They cancelled me on their car insurance, won't let me drive thier cars and I don't have one that is running, becuase they won't let me fix it or even call a mechanic. They are causing me to want to kill myself. I don't want to live here anymore, but they won't let me move out untill another year. They made me take online college classes, and my grades are not exactly A's cuz I don't have the classroom setting cuz my rents won't let me go on campus. I got a cell phone and lied about having it cuz they wouldn't let me... and they grounded me for a month, made me quit my job immediatly w/o even giving my 2 weeks.. They are insane. How do I get them to ease up? How do I get them to trust me? What have I possibly done that would make them this bad? They are like communists. please help me. They won't let me stay at friends, or anything, and I have to get away from them. HELP

Answer 1

Sound like a very familiar situation, they are communists ack!
It's hard to work with them and hard to work around them. Best thing to do is rebel don't listen but they will eventually try to call you crazy and that you need medication. Let them feel in control. Listen to them and say yes, but hide secrets but don't do anything bad, but good for your life. Try not to talk with them. Stay out as much as possible when you can. And I feel you. You need them to survive don't you? It's kind of like you can't bite the hand that feeds! That's bad because if you really need to talk with someone you can't use the phone. You can bring someone else because they are insecure and crud like that. If you're 21 and up I would like to say to listen to them, but don't get mad at something you have the right to be mad about and yell at them because they'll only punish you. errr just stay out as much as possible.

Answer 2

I think in your situation you need a mediator or counselling is there a local charitable organisation near you? This doesn't always mean a church some people have a problem with that but alot of places are not preachy and allow you to mediate some common ground with your parents. If this is a serious abuse problem I would at least talk to someone in your community or school.
I know being a teen and dealing with difficult parents can be hard but as long as it isn't physical abuse I think you can overcome it with counselling if they won't then you will have to get some help for yourself and get the cousellor to maybe contact them or work with you to convince them. If you are having problems with your grades maybe tutoring will help but I think your stress level does not help either. You're not alone in this rest assured there are many in the same situation and don't give up! There are some in worse situations I know I was in the same when I was a teen, just find an organisation or centre and ask questions or for assistance until you get it your future depends on it. There is nothing worse than life on the street you are a smart girl despite what you think and though it may not look that way you are very lucky.
Chin up! and all will be ok

Answer 3

you need to get a grip on yourself, you must be at least 17 if you are able to legally drive. At this age your parents really can't stop you from leaving home, as for brushing your teeth, are they advising you to do this because you don't as a rule brush regularily? my sons are 17 and I am in a habit of saying'don't forget to brush your teeth' I am not patronising them, it's just old habits die hard! do you have other family who you can go to? auntys, grandparents, siblings? or do you think one of your friends will let you stay with them? you need to stay until you have somewhere else to go, find another job so you have money when you leave. Only you know if you have done something to make your parents treat you this way, if you truly haven't, then act like an adult and confront them, talk and explain how they make you feel, remind them that you can leave if you want to, see if you can all come to some in-between compromise. Being a parent is a hard job to balance right, letting your kids go is even harder, try talking to them, thoughts of killing yourself are showing the childish side in you still exists, so think about what you are saying, once you are 6 ft under it's cold and dark and you are there forever, above ground you have options.

Answer 4

Wow you sound like a prisoner in your own home. What age are you honey - can you get out of that house - stay with friends or something?
If thats not an option then you need to have a serious chat with your parents - be mature about it though - dont be whingy and crying - sit the three of ye down and explain how they're making you feel - any parent that hears their child is considering takin her own life - will HAVE to reconsider their parenting skills.
Explain that whilst you appreciate the fact that they care enough about you to not let you walk the street at night like some parents do - that they are gone to the other extreme and you cant handle it anymore - tell them that whilst they may feel its the right thing to do now - you're only resenting them and feel it may affect your relationship with them in future years.
They are like this because they probably love you very much and are trying to protect you from the badness and danger that IS out there - you just need to reach a comprimise about how much they are holding you back though.
Good luck xx

Answer 5

It really depends on how old you are. Once you are 18, you can get out and they cannot say anything about it. However, you asked how you could get them to trust you. Obviously, from your post, you've acted in a way....getting the cell phone behind their back and lying....that it's no surprise they don't trust you. I woudn't trust someone who had lied to me either. What you need to do is try to regain their trust. To do that, you have to prove to them that you are trustworthy..never lie, even when it's hard to tell the truth, don't do things behind their backs that you know will make them mad, etc. Go ahead and do your best with the online classes. Once you move out, you can take whatever classes you want. There is probably a reason they cancelled you on their car insurance. Get over it. Parents aren't perfect and there isn't anything you can do to make them perfect. They aren't abusive, and are probably acting out of love, so live within their rules while you're in their house, and if you feel they've done a lousy parenting job, just do it differently when you have kids. Hang in there...the day will come when you're out on your own and can make a life of your own.

Answer 6

there is no good answer to this. my parents have always been the same way. they do that to me (21) and my sister (26) who has a baby...her own family. i was always scared to tell my parents how i felt....they always brought a gun into the situation...always turned violent. me and my sister were always good kids...and we still are good people. some parents just have a fear of their children growing up too fast, especially if you are the only child. i was finally able to talk them into letting me go to college. and of course i picked one that was furthest away. try and talk to them about it. be rational and go into the conversation with an open mind. dont blow up if they say no at first. just keep persisting over time. let them know thats what you really want. i know it is difficult to, but i had finally had enough and got up the nerve to talk to them. after a few arguments, they gave in. now im at school and love my life. just try and ask them why they are so hard on you to understand the situation. and tell them how you feel about it. maybe you three can work things out or compromise on something. the best of luck to you

Answer 7

Holy ****! My rents are almost just the same. But just not as intense as your's are. The only thing that you can do, is try to suck up to them. Bargain with your parents, like if you get your grades up to A's, then you can get a job. Or something like that. Help around the house, and make your parents see how you are responsible. Even get them a really nice gift on holidays or birthdays. And if your rents are the "explain to us..." kind of people, then make a list of things that are better if you had a car and a job. Like "you won't have to drive me to school" or "I can pay for my own car insurance with a job" and things like that.

Of course it is really hard to actually do these things, because you are probably extremely mad at your parents. But just try really hard to be really good, and get the favor of your rents. It works almost every time ;)

Answer 8

Maybe you are missing out a lot of what has happened previously. You have maybe done a lot to cause them to mistrust you, have you taken drugs and lied, have you smoked and lied, have you slept with boys then lied? Most of the time parents know best, but I realise they are not all good. It's a shame they are not allowing you some trust and freedom, that is bizarre. You need to chat to them without getting angry or confrontational, once they see you are being mature, they are more likely to listen to you. If that doesn't work then, get out as soon as you can.

Answer 9

Dear Cyber Spacer,
First of all, let me discourage you from hurting yourself. Killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even though it may seem like forever before you can move out, that isn't true. If you feel strongly that you may hurt yourself, call your local Suicide Prevention Hotline. They have resources available to help you.

Sometimes parents put the hammer down because there is a history of disobedience. Sometimes it is out of fear their child is growing into a young adult and they haven't accepted it.

Do you have a youth pastor you can talk to? It sounds like you are trying to have your way and your parents are trying to have their way. Compromise is possible if you are all willing to sit down with a 3rd party and talk out the hard issues. What is happening is a symptom of deeper problems.

Keep in mind that their intentions are probably good, and they love you very much. Otherwise they wouldn't be trying so hard to keep you in line. And the line, depending on where you are standing, seems to be one of the issues.

Peace.

Answer 10

Have you tried sitting them down and talking to them?
If they ignore you take them by the shoulders, make eye contact, and say in a determined voice, "Listen to me."
If they are totally hard shelled and won't listen to your opinions then I suggest you go to a counselor or someone you trust who can help you set things right with your parents.
They're probably the way they are not because they are "control freaks" but they don't want you to grow up and their tyrannic ways are just their way of protecting you or making sure they, as the parents, still have control over their child.
You need to tell them that you've grown up and that they need to accept that, and that you are responsible for your own life and can make your own decisions- they need to let go.