I'm staying with my fiance because i'm thinking about moving in with him,i'm not fully moved in yet but we sleep together eat together all that fun stuff but his mom lives with him and she doesn't like me,now my fiance doesn't think so but i can tell and she introduces me by my name instead of saying that i'm with her son,he's telling me not to let it bother me but it does and i dont know what to do,what would you do if you were in my problem?Thx for answering:)
2006-09-27 12:21:57 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she wasn't married to my fiance's father so she's not old school
2006-09-27 12:45:41 · update #1
well, you can try to wait for more days or months maybe..
and observe some changes..
we don't know, maybe you will get closer with his mom... and your mom soon.. =)
if still you feel the same or everything is the same.. then try to open this to your fiance...
and regarding calling you by your name, it's just normal... maybe she's just used to calling people by names.. but you will noticed something on the way on how she say your name.. try to observe...
but it's too early to make decisions.. =)
2006-09-27 12:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by mermaid.marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl - you're really in a mess aren't you? There is more than one issue here to address. First, a guy who is living with mom is emotionally attached to her. Do you want to feel like mom is going to treat you like a step sister rather than a wife? Do you want a husband who will act like you are his sister or mother rather than a soulmate? That's what you're in for. Do you want to be the third wheel - with little to no privacy - knowing that everything you say - you might as well have said to her directly - because he tells her EVERYTHING? First of all, you both need some space - away from mom. Second, you need to take a second look at living together with a guy - the statistics on divorce rate, marriage rate and how seriously the guy takes the relationship are not good. You can't fault your mother in law to be if she is not comfortable with this. Your husband to be is probably going to stand up for her - not you. In the end - his decision about you will hinge on how emotionally bonded he is with mother. I would recommend that you move into your own personal place. Tell your boyfriend that he needs to get his own apartment and take some responsibility for his own life - let his mother learn to live on her own - unless there is a serious illness or she is totally elderly. Don't you want a man who can stand on his own two feet - apart from you AND mother? Don't you want someone stronger than who you see right now? Do you want your marriage and life to fall apart when she dies because it all depended on her? I know I'm being really tough - but if you want a happy healthy marriage out of this - I'm afraid you're on the wrong path.
2006-09-27 12:38:29 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd move out and continue seing my fiance as lovers do ,and stay at his place occasionally. If you are thinking of living together, the right thing to do is to get an appartement for the TWO OF YOU ONLY!This mother-in-law-thing can destroy your relationship. Good Luck!
2006-09-27 12:33:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try sitting down with her and talking to her. My sister had a pretty similar problem...when she was dating her husband awhile back (they've been dating for 8 years before they got married this may) his mom loved her to death. But once they got married, she started being jelous of her, and blaming her for things she didn't even have anything to with, and talked bad about her...But they talked things out and now they're fine. Maybe your fiance's mother is just jelous about her boy maybe not needing her once he has you.
2006-09-27 12:27:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hang in there. She may be 'old school' and doesn't want people to know that her son is living with a woman he's not married to yet. When you're married, she probably won't be such a pain about it.
2006-09-27 12:28:39 · answer #5 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not move in with your fiance until you guys could afford your own place together - not fair to Mom.
2006-09-27 12:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by RT 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Discuss your observation of your bf's mother with her while you're both alone. Be open, honest and tell her how her actions make you feel. Based on her response, make a decision on where it's worth staying the course or leaving him. It's really that simple.
2006-09-27 12:25:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as he is in love with you it all that matters. In fact if she in fact did like you maybe then he would't be sure your the right one for him it's the challenge that matters . When she sees how you love her son , and would put up with making peace with her she will love you but never ever admit it. Because if she did it would be normal , and as this wold is normal people are the ones who have real issues. Who does like their mother in law anyways? lol
2006-09-27 12:28:46 · answer #8 · answered by Tellie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hes a mamas boy. She feels like you are taking him away from her. And im sure being a parent...she thinks noone is good enough for her son. Just be yourself,,show her respect..love her son...and in time hopefully she will come to love you.
2006-09-27 12:25:38 · answer #9 · answered by michelle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I mean no disrespect but she might not like you becasue you moved in with out the benefit of marriage and take my advice take not e of all the things you dont like now becasue after marriagae nothing changes
2006-09-27 12:25:15 · answer #10 · answered by cora7391 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋