Me and my mother keep having to yell and scream when we talk and when I am quiet for a while it seems that she talks just that much longer so I am asking for tips on how to train myself to be quiet and still have my sanity and how to talk in a normal voice without yelling when I do decide to say something
2006-09-27 12:18:07 · 8 answers · asked by lil debbie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Exactly. Do allow your mother to have her say. Hear what she is not saying. "I am scared. I am losing my little girl. You cannot take care of my child the way I do." It's really hard for a parent to get those words out.
Never react to what she says. Always respond. Assure her that you want to treat her with respect, but that you need to be respected, too. Mention your good grades, your room is cleaned up, you got home on time Saturday night......whatever.
Tell her she doesn't have to be afraid of the decisions you will make for her child, especially since that child is you. Tell her you respect yourself and need to start learning to make an independent decision. Reassure her that it is not your intention to push her out of your life. Tell her you love her and appreciate what she has done to bring you to this place in life. Then say, "Mom, I'm growing up." Tell her you will let her know where you go and when you will be back and you will call in between if she freaks and wonders if you are still alive. ( This is a parents greatest fear.)
Self -control is a quality many people never learn. You can speak calmly when you respond, not react. If she's too wound up to speak without yelling, go to where she is and say, "Mom, I need to talk with you. I'll come back when we can communicate, ok?" And walk away. When you do talk to her, tell her you have no intention of treating her with disrespect and that when she yells she puts you in a position where you react with disrespect and you hate that.
Introduce her gently to the mature young adult that you are becoming and give her time to adjust. Hug her and tell her you love her. Sounds like she's terrified of losing you to you. It is time for you to teach, gently.
2006-09-27 12:38:09 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think of this when she is yelling. I must think before I talk. Because when you are yelling, you say the first thing that comes to mind and sometimes it's hurtful and you can't take it back. Analyze what your mother is saying and wait until she is done. Then talk in your normal voice, because you are in control and you are not going lose your temper. This is called self control. Good Luck and this applies to anyone who yells at you.
2006-09-27 12:26:28 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to my daughter because she says I never shut up. Maybe she is right.I talk loud because I am almost deaf in my left ear so it is hard to hear .Yes we have talks & when she is through for some reason I go on&on.Be like her & do something to keep you busy & shut her out. I know my daughter shuts me out by going on the computer with her friends. I know because we will be talking later & she can not recall something I was talking about a hour ago.
2006-09-27 12:31:05 · answer #3 · answered by BUTCH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep telling yourself she is in the wrong for yelling too, and probably out of anger trying to get a rise out of you. You sound like you don't like control, and try to control the situation yourself by yelling back. Well, you can control the situation by not responding the way she does, keep telling yourself "I am not going to let her get a rise out of me". Control the situation, and let her remain out of control. Eventually she will feel stupid when you are just standing there in control, and she is supposed to be setting the example.
2006-09-27 12:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its tough keeping your mouth shut when you want to blurt something out. You must develop self restraint. It takes discpline and practice. Just make a conscious decision to keep quiet no matter how angry or upset you become. You are in control of your behavior, not your mom.
2006-09-27 12:38:05 · answer #5 · answered by JillA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all what is the "fight" about? If your mom talks so much, maybe she has no one to talk to, is she always by herself? I have a family member that her husband just passed away and she just blabs all the time. Tell her to slow down on the talking so you can understand what she's saying.................(I guess)
2006-09-27 12:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Isabelle P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey i got the same problem but when you really wanna scream and let her have it with both barrels is when you can show some restraint and show your the better woman
2006-09-27 12:22:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
put your brain in gear and leave your mouth in park
2006-09-27 12:21:32 · answer #8 · answered by mr. Bob 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋