About 2 months ago I just got out of Treatment. I was addicted to Meth, and Marijuana. I know meth is really bad, I've heard all the what if's from my friends and family. But my problem is this; My Uncle lives next door and he has 2 little boys. Whenever one of them is around me their mother (my Aunt) calls him inside for some reason. So then I take the hint and go home. Please help me I love my family so much. I don't know what else to do.
2006-09-27 11:52:31 · 11 answers · asked by bee 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You have to earn thier trust back. Having that happen in your family could be considered dangerous. They dont want you to be a bad influence on him. It will just take time. Prove that you are on the short and narrow. Make sure that you apologize to them face to face and prove to them that you are going to change.
2006-09-27 11:55:08 · answer #1 · answered by robyn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you were a mom - this would make total sense to you. Protecting your little ones is a totally motherly instinct. I wouldn't take it personally. Just remember, they probably won't be asking you to babysit! They just want to make sure he is safe since individuals who have issues with drugs, tend to go back to them and she obviously isn't sure if you've completely kicked the habit - treatment or not. You could be dangerous to her son if you were on something. You could do something that you wouldn't normally do. It's going to take some time to rebuild trust and relationship with them after this. I know it's not easy. My son got a bruise and bit mark from horsing around with big sister and the doctor reported me to DCFS - now my friends don't leave me alone with their kids - I used to help out sometimes. Even though I was cleared after a brief investigation, they don't totally trust me. But, you know - if I was in their shoes - I would be leery of someone who got investigated even if it was cleared and they were my best friend. It's a simply motherly instinct. So, the point being - it's hard but you need to see it from their perspective and not hold it against them even though it doesn't seem fair and like they are really giving you a chance. I would recommend getting together with your relatives in groups and for dinner on occasion rather than just you and their boy. You just have to wait and build trust - it will take a long time.
2006-09-27 12:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another idea is to find a book that can help your family members understand your addiction, and speak to your uncle and aunt about what you feel, and that you understand their concerns, but that you also what to have your family in your lives. Just keep working the program the more time you have clean, and they see you doing much better day by day they should come around.
I wish you my best in your recovery.
2006-09-27 12:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by crazybest75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, I am sorry to hear of your difficulty time and I commend you on your recovery. Broken or damaged relationships are difficult to repair sometime, but it isn't hopeless. It will take time to rebuilt trust and gain respect from some stubborn people. The key is relationships. You must move forward in rebuilding your relationships with your family. To get to the point, I'll just say there are 2 ways to go in relationships. The question to always ask yourself in dealing with other people is, "Is what I am about to say or do going to bring me closer to this person or create more distance?". There are habits that will bring you closer to a person and habits that will push people away.
To summarize, focus on the following habits to build relationships.
Seven Caring Habits
Supporting
Encouraging
Listening
Accepting
Trusting
Respecting
Negotiating differences
Advoid the following habits, as they create distance in relationships:
Seven Deadly Habits
Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Bribing or rewarding to control
It is important to understand that you can only control your own behavior. Regardless of what others say or do, continue to use caring habits. In time your relatives may see a change and begin to change themselves. If you like to read, I highly recommend reading "Choice Theory" by William Glasser. It will change your life and set you in a new direction.
Good luck and God Bless you.
2006-09-27 12:19:33 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please realize that some people, in fact, most people, who are not addicted to drugs or alcohol, do not understand that it is a devastating disease. You have been in treatment and I am sure that they gave you an understanding of the disease concept of addiction as recognized by the American Medical Assoc. When we have been addicts, our behavior is very confusing and scary to others. They need to see you walk the path of recovery for a period of time before they can relax their guard and before they can trust you not to revert to old behavior. Try to surround yourself with others in recovery. It is really crucial to do so. Feeling misunderstood only increases the feelings of loneliness and being "less than" which you already feel. Others in recovery will understand your pain and sadness and will help to give you a new perspective. If you continue to grow in recovery, you will become someone who everyone actually looks up to. What a concept isn't it? Please take good care of your recovery. It is very precious and so are you. Take it easy and stay close to your program.
2006-09-27 12:04:46 · answer #5 · answered by mknightm@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly well done for getting treatment for your addiction, if you can deal with that you must have the strength to deal with most things.
If you want to improve your situation you have to talk to your aunt. Ask her what her problem is and re-assure her that you have been treated for you addiction and are ok now. Ask her for her help and support in what must be a difficult time for you and tell her how her actions are not helping you and how it is making you feel.
2006-09-27 12:03:54 · answer #6 · answered by markclitheroe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have lost their trust and respect. Earn it back. Show them you are clean and will be now on. Show them what a great person you are when you're not on drugs. Good luck!
2006-09-27 12:02:24 · answer #7 · answered by Krissi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LET THEM KNOW THAT YOU WENT TO TREATMENT FOR A REASON, TO GET CLEAN, SO THATS UR FIRST STEP, YOUR SECOND IS TO EARN THEIR TRUST BACK, START BY WRITTING AN APOLOGY LETTER, MAYBE A POEM ON HOW YOU MESSED UP AND WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO THEM, LET THEM KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LOVE THEM. TELL THEM THIS IS THE TIME YOU NEED THEIR SUPPORT TO HELP YOU STAY CLEAN AND STRONG. GOOD LUCK AND CONGRATULATIONS!
2006-09-27 11:58:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-10-18 02:26:31 · answer #9 · answered by casaliggi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to earn their trust back and they might take a while
talk to her and be open
keep up the great work of being clean
2006-09-27 12:01:05 · answer #10 · answered by Red Sawx ® 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋