What`s the funniest thing your have seen or heard???

Question

I need cheering up today guys tell me some funny stories..

here`s one of mine...i was in traffic and i could see this man ..he was quiet large ... he was running along the pavement in a bit of a hurry .. anyway he fall over this black rubbish bag...he gets up keeps running.. he keeps looking behind him ..i dont know why at this point.. then all of a sudden bang!!.... he runs straight into another man and knocks him flying.. he stumbles gives the guy a little.. iam sorry.. and keeps on running he was getting faster and faster still looking behind him then bang straight into a lamp post .. he was sparko..then i realized why he was running.. it was to catch a bus that was stuck in traffic..........lollol need i say i was crying with laughter i had to pull over to pee then i saw all the other drivers killing themselfs laughing.......anyway i found this really funny...........

You think thats a good joke haha
your mum so fat that when your dad climes on top he burns he **** on the light bulb..... lol

Answer 1

Omg that was funny!!

I remember last year at our school we have this compitition between the 4 classes. (Senor, Junior, Sophmore, and Freshmen) We were freshmen so we were detirmined to beat the higher classes becase every year the freshmen loose. In our air band compitition we had to do a spring theme and Josh, this really funny guy, put on a pastel green dress and shorts underneath(so it looked like he was only wearing the dress) then he got up there and danced around and it was really funny!
We ened up coming in 3rd which was good because usually the other classed exspect the freshmen to be last.

Also in a talent show part of the day, we were short a talent(we neeeded 3 and we had 2) so this guy from our class went up and for his talent he played his armpits. It was soooo funny! But he ended up helping us out because if he didn't do that then we would have forfeted.

My school is weird!

Answer 2

I was sitting out side waiting for my friend when this group of young boys around the age 12-14 started to walk toward this park across the street from me, any way this cab rolled up next to them to stop at the light and these little boys started to harass him i mean they were shouting and yelling at the poor man something horrible. then one of the boys, the leader i take it, decides that the driver needs a drink and throws his drink in the car at him. now im getting pissed cause the lights green and the driver is still sitting there taking this when he takes the boys drink and sprays him in the face with it then pulls off. I laughed so hard at the little boy that he called me a barrage of names which really didn't matter cause while i was on the ground laughing he was across the street mad as hell socking wet with red juice running down his face and shirt. lol good for them bad *** bastards.

Answer 3

Here is a good one.

This girl was at bible study and she always fell asleep so whenever the teacher called on her the boy behind her would stab her with a little needle. So one day she was sleeping and the teacher asks her "Who created earth" so the boy stabed her and she said "God Almighty", later the teacher asked "Who is gods son" and so the boy stabed her and she said " Jesus Christ", So later the teacher asked "What did Eve say to Adam after they had there 42nd child" so the boy stabed the girl and she said "God D**n it you stick that thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half". The teacher Fainted.

Answer 4

cold play needs to chill play and go along with the days program.
personal takes on people are now taken care of.

I would say the funniest thing I ever saw was one time my boyfriend was riding his horse and the wind blew off his hat. He got off the horse to get the hat and then the horse stole the hat and ran off. He keep on trying to get the hat and the horse kept running a few feet and stopping and then when he would get almost to him he would run another few feet and stop . it was a gut buster at the time. and finally the horse put down the hat and stepped on it. was really funny. to me , my boyfriend was not so impressed.

Answer 5

One night me and my friends were driving around the city and this car cuts in front of me. Instead of just blowing the horn, I decide to follow the asshole and show him what's really up. So he drives down this side street to his house (I guess) and his girlfriend is in the passenger seat and he gets out of his car and is staring at us. Well he had one of those corny garfield stick-on stuffed animal things his back window and I yell, "Don't pull out in front of me you Garfield fucker!" Well this really pissed him off and he sprints towards my car and as he's running, he falls flat on his ***! It was SO FUNNY! Me and my friends started laughing and drove off. It was great!

Answer 6

When a FORMER male friend traveled 1,000 miles to move in w/ me, and then wouldn't go to work....wanted to watch TV 24/7. He expected me to support him!!!
Now, that's funny!!!!

Answer 7

One time i saw a black due paint his hands red he smacked the **** outa this racist *** white girl and said ***** im KRAZy now your really a red neck lol you had to be there it was hilarious lol.

Answer 8

id have to say that the funniest thing ive ever seen was when my friend went to use a portapotty and i tipped it over it was byfar the greatest thing ive ever seen when he got out of it and had pooo all over him it was halarious

Answer 9

in my college, when the chief guest tried to sit on the chair, he was way in front of the chair itslef, and had a fall in front of the whole convocation audience .....

Answer 10

Ok , I read this stupid question the other day:-
why is there a time difference between belgium and the usa?
My Gosh!