I'm 21, live on my own, and have my own life goin for me now. Now that im away from my family i do things that makes me happy and not always what others like. I got a tattoo for my mother that passed away and one for what I believe in and no one things thats right. I change my hair color and no one likes it. It seems that no matter what i do its never what my family wants or things is right. I never seem 'good enough' for them. Its like they want me to stay the little girl that everyone always controled my whole life and i dont want that but at the same time i dont want to loose my family. im not sure what to do anymore. im so stressed out that i avoide them most of the time now and i dont want that..can someone help me a little? please and thank you very much!!
2006-09-27 11:37:07 · 8 answers · asked by xxsyn69xx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What your doing is not wrong at all, it is how you are feeling in your life-expressed emotionally and physically. And no matter what you choose for yourself, you should be supported. Don't let yourself feel like you are not good enough for them. They will love you regardless! Keep communication with them so they can be more understanding of your decisions. Try to remind them that you are 21, and you are ready to start your own life, but you want to know that they will always be right behind you in everything that you do, because you cherish them as your family, and care about them as much as they care about you. (They might need to be reminded every now and then).And remember that even if they don't act like it at all times, they are your family and they love you!
2006-09-27 11:56:16 · answer #1 · answered by Mellissa_sons 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like maybe you are seeking their approval in everything you do. If, as you say, you have your own life going for you now and you are doing the things that make you happy, then why does it bother you that members of your family don't approve. So long as you are not hurting yourself or them by your actions then I would say get on with doing what makes you happy and maybe eventually they will realise their mistake. They sound like they too are having trouble letting you go! You could try talking with them and saying, "look I live on my own now and I make my own decisions. OK maybe some of them aren't the right decisions but you have to let me make my own mistakes in life so that I can grow as a person. I'm glad that you care about me so much and I love you all so don't worry, if I have any problem that I feel I can't deal with, you guys will be the first ones I turn to." or words to that effect. This way, they know that you love and respect them and their opinions but that you just don't need them ALL the time!
Good luck, you sound like a really caring person!
2006-09-27 11:49:46 · answer #2 · answered by Tatsbabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family always wants the best for you and sometimes when they give you advice or criticize you it comes out negative, which in turns hurts your feelings. Communication is the best answer. You need to be able to hear what they have to say and understand that its for the better. You need to be able to sit them down and let them know that you are a grown woman, you are completely content and safe with all the aspects of your life. They just want to know that you are not getting mix in with the wrong crowd. Make sure that you show them you are being responsible and sensible. Let them know that you have thought things through with your life and you are completely aware of the consequences should things go wrong. Show them that you are competant and will be able to get up if you do fall. All you expect from them is their loving support should that happen. Tell them you're hurt at their words and hope they understand you better. Good luck.
2006-09-27 11:46:00 · answer #3 · answered by kim h 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem with my family, but in a different way. We never seem to agree on anything. I support gay marriage, my parents don't believe in it (and my best friend is gay, so that really pisses me off. they wont let me have him over at my house or anything)...I question some of the bible, my parents believe every word of it...I'm into heavy metal and rock, they think it's satans music... It seems almost pointless to even try to state my opinion most of the time, but i always fight back. even if I lose, I want them to know my opinion and that i can stand up for myself, that Im not always going to be the "little perfect girl" they've always pictured me being. I told them, if they truely loved me, the'd support every decision i made. and some positive critizism was ok, but i dont want to be bothered over and over about stupid things. maybe thats what you need to do.
:-)
2006-09-27 12:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be you.Nobody can tell you what to do now that your of age.Yeah family wants to tell you what they think is right for you most of the time,but the fact of the matter is that your 21 now you can make your own decisions,and you can control your own life.If they really love you they will let you be you and find your own way in life.You can't please everybody no matter how hard you try.You can't let it get to you,do you be happy with the decisions you make because lets face it your the only one that can make you happy,your the only one living your life.They need to let you live your life because you are the only one who can.
2006-09-27 11:55:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what makes you happy as long as it is legal. Family needs to grow up.
2006-09-27 11:49:03 · answer #6 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y r u.s. wantin to be common through his kinfolk even as u knew earlier hand that they were aginst the marriage? does ur husband respect u and make u sense u r his spouse? does he help u even even as all his kinfolk at the prompt are not? ofcourse on life like and logical recommendations no longer on stupid tghts. If thats tremendous then u dont desire them to settle for u. even if or not they do or no longer, u have a strong husband and a strong married life.
2016-10-16 02:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you trying to please your family? Part of growing up is realizing that you don't need their approval anymore.
2006-09-27 11:48:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋