My mother went to her homeland last week for the first time in 26 years since she was diagnosed with a mental illness. She has made a dramatic recovery since then which has taken years of patience, and she has never wanted to go back to her homeland because of bad memories. I spoke to her today (from abroad) and she sounded agitated and her speech was slured just as it was when she had her mental illness. I am supposed to pick my mother and father from the airport on Sunday morning and have a party to go to on Saturday night. Asked the girlfriend if we could leave just a little earlier from the party (i'd rather not go all together - as i'm concerned for my mothers safe return) and an argument brewed. She was more concerned for the party and "looking silly leaving earlier than everyone else". I can't believe that at a time like this she wont cut me any slack. What are your thoughts on this matter? Am I wrong to react like this? - I am genuinely worried about my mum.
2006-09-27 11:21:23 · 12 answers · asked by Charlie Brigante 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Personally I don't believe you are wrong. I do feel that your girlfriend is being very selfish and inconsiderate. Remind her that there will be other parties. If she doesn't change her heart and mind would suggest that she goes on her own as you have more important issues to deal with.
None of us know how time will affect our health - physical or mental and perhaps it would be a good time to remind her of that and the fact that one day she may be in the circumstances/situation where she will need help and support from her family.
Whatever the outcome - do hope all will go well and do whatever you can to support your Mum - after all you only ever have one and being a Mum myself know that she has unconditional love for you and will appreciate everything that you do for her.
God Bless.
2006-09-27 11:29:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No your not being insensitive at all. How long have you been with your girlfriend. If it's not long then maybe she doesn't understand your mother's illness properly. Or maybe if you have been together for a while she may feel that you put your mother in front of her all the time. That may sound insensitive but sometimes women get a bit fed up if they feel they're competing with they're fellas mother all the time. To you this may not be the case because you love your mum and would do anything for her but maybe sometimes she would like to feel that you 2 can go out without checking up on your mum.
2006-09-27 18:28:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, depends on how long you've been with your girlfriend, and depends on her side of the story, but I would say there's a chance she's shown her tue colours... Not pretty.
Send her to the party with a friend and be there for your parents. Most people are usually plastered early on in parties anyway, there's no point in staying since your mind's going to be elsewhere anyway!
Hope your mum gets better quickly. Itmust also be hard for your dad, be there for him too.
PS: I don't see why you "asked" to leave early. Some things don't get asked, they get done...
2006-09-28 04:59:29 · answer #3 · answered by Elsa M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get someone else to take your mum home, I understand how you feel, but you know, sometimes you have to make the effort for your girlfriend too, mummys boys are not well liked men unfortunately, so keep a balance and enlist the help of others, also be aware of your mum, could she be playing on this mental illness thing? you don't just make dramatic recovery then go completly the other way when it's time to come home, maybe she is competing for you.........
2006-09-28 01:09:25 · answer #4 · answered by pottydotty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am not optimistic about your relationship with this girl. She doesn't seem to care about how you feel and about your family. In life, there are not just good times but there are bad times too. Perhaps you can share fun with her at party times but when there's a crisis, she's not likely to give you support. You really have to think about whether there's any point in staying in this relationship.
2006-09-27 18:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
good comments by the rest. Your gf is probably a little tired of your mum coming first and is just showing it in any way she can....a bit insensitive but the underlying feeling she may have may not be unjustified.
Hope it works out with your mum and your gf.
2006-09-27 18:47:06 · answer #6 · answered by ovanbilsen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally i would find a new girlfriend, remember family comes first. You wouldnt be the individual you are if it wasnt for your parents. Dont go to the party , imagine how you would feel if something happen to her??
2006-09-27 22:57:48 · answer #7 · answered by Stephen J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your girlfriend to go to the party on her own, and you worry about your mum.
I would say she is being a bit selfish yes.
2006-09-27 18:24:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she is tell her if it is that important to her she can stay at the party and you will come back and pick her up.
2006-09-27 18:24:46 · answer #9 · answered by Heidi B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she is being selfish. Tell her if the party means more to her than your mom's health to go by herself!
2006-09-27 18:29:51 · answer #10 · answered by Pildi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋