my boyfriend is addicted to heroin. he is getting clean but it is really hard and i have been supporting him but sometimes it feels like nothing i do is working. I know he mostly has to do it on his own but i wish i felt like i was more helpful. I just dont know what to do anymore.
2006-09-27 11:07:35 · 19 answers · asked by Hypnotyc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dump him.
He's going to go back to it. You didn't get him into this mess. Your sanity is in danger.
Dump him! Please.
2006-09-27 11:09:52 · answer #1 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am so glad you asked this question, because you need to listen to all the answers here. I see a lot of supportive people here, who have been there and survived. You obviously want what is best for both of you. He is doing his part if he is staying with his program, has a sponsor, and attends meetings regularly. You are obviously torn on alot of issues with him, and you want to make healthy decisions. Please start going to an al anon meeting, call the local mental health center to find it. There are many, they are free. You don't have to talk until you are ready, even if takes alot of meetings rather than minutes. You will find so much support from people of all ages who live with or love an addicted person. They cannot tell you what to do, but you will learn so much just by being there and listening. Also, the library or bookstore has alot of books on codependency. I have read lots of them, and each one had more than a handful of things that not only taught me about the one I loved, but about myself too. Many times the codependent becomes sicker than the addict. It happens so slowly you don't realize it until you are in over your head. You did a great thing by asking this question, please don't stop here. Educate yourself so that you can make good choices, you will never regret it.
2006-09-27 11:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hang on girl, and give him a lot of support; Is going to be hard for him and it takes time; if you leave him it can cause him to start using like before or even more, so if you love him just ride with him to the fullest. Best thing to do is to put him in a drug program is only 9 moths, and it has a lot of benefits; look this is the site check it out www.waldenhouse.org
2006-09-27 11:12:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you could benefit from joining a group for those people who have friends and family that are addicted. These groups help you to help them and give you a place to share what your going through. Make sure that he is also in a group for addicts so that he has other people beyond just you to rely on and help him through this. Surviving addiction takes more than will power and time, it takes a lot of people all working together.
2006-09-27 11:12:41 · answer #4 · answered by rkrell 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im Two years clean and sober!! If you dont do it for yourself
you wont ever stop!! You need to stop helping him along the way and let him fall and get up like a Big Boy!! If he doesnt..you can still love him...but you must leave him!!
2006-09-27 11:26:03 · answer #5 · answered by rolinssis4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, get counseling for yourself...you are or you are becoming codependent which is a huge waste of your life. I know, I've been there!! I hated that word for years but finally accepted and got help. A counselor can teach you to positively handle the situation without killing yourself in the long run or even having to dump him.
2006-09-27 11:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think that the only thing someone can do in your position is to just be there for him..let him know that you care and you are very proud of him for what he is doing...just always be his shoulder for him to lean on...good luck to you and your boyfriend..i hope that he stays with it!
there are alot of people on here saying that you should leave him...is your boyfriend really getting help and he is going trough the process..like withdrawls and stuff or does he just keep saying he is going to get help....i think that this info is important..cause i think that most of the people are lookin at it as he is saying he is going to get help....if that is the case yes move on..but if he really is getting help right now all of these people who are just assuming he is not are very wrong..people can change and if you really love him and you believe that he loves you leaving him is the wrong thing to do!
2006-09-27 11:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by noseyroseysillywillie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know you cant do anything for him besides be there for him. He has to want to quit on his own. If you fell that hes not goint o quit,,,and is blowing smoke up your *** saying hes going to get help,,you will eventually get sick of it,,,and leave him anyways. Stick by him as long as you have it in your heart to. And keep praying for him.
2006-09-27 11:11:43 · answer #8 · answered by michelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he keeps back-sliding (getting better and then getting worse) you need to move on. But if he is constantly improving, give him the benefit of the doubt and keep supporting him.
Good Luck!
2006-09-27 11:10:26 · answer #9 · answered by RT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are an addict ypurself, You are addicted to him cus you keep trying the same thing over and over expecting different results.
2006-09-27 11:13:42 · answer #10 · answered by jcs_one 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well he has to get help for himself and i know its hard but don't try to make more problems. trust me at this stage they can only handle one thing at a time :) I wish u the best of luck and stay strong!!!!
2006-09-27 11:10:35 · answer #11 · answered by littlepinklily03 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋