My 3 year old stole from me!!??

Question

Today i took my little girl to my sister in laws as she was looking after her for the day, my 3 year old took £ 5 from my purse (while i werent looking!) When i had gone my sis in law saw it and asked her where she got it from, she said "mummy gave it to me for sweets" and they took it up the shop and spent it! My sis in law thought i gave it to her
Bit of an early age to start that isnt it?

Oh i just want to add that i would never smack or spank or hurt my child in any way whatsoever that is child abuse, yeah what she did was wrong but no child ever deserves to be smacked no matter what they have done!

It is bad what she did but also very clever! i did tell her it was naughty and she pulled puppy eyes and said "im so sorry mummy" (bless her)

Answer 1

3 is actually a very normal age to begin being dishonest and stealing. Most children go through a stage of this at some point, many as early as 2 or 3, others later in life. You're absolutely right about not spanking. People need to see spanking for what it is. The child does something you dislike, so you hit. Now, they've learned that when someone does something they dislike, the answer is to hit. Is that what you're trying to teach your preschooler?

Talk to your daughter about ownership...how some things are hers', some are yours', and some belong to other people. Speak with her about borrowing, and how you must ask before you borrow. Let her know, firmly but kindly, that it is not okay to take things belonging to other people without asking. Then give her a way to work off the money that she took, such as unloading the dryer, or helping to sweep the floor. Just remember that if you've never had to correct her for stealing before, that means she's probably never had it explained to her that it is wrong.

Answer 2

Yes it is much too early and it surely cannot mean the same as if she was say 5 and going to school.
Here is how I would interpret it- I would think that on other occasions I have given her (or her minder) money for sweets etc and she thinks this time I forgot to do it. So she was helping mummy in a way. Either way I would give her the benefit of the doubt, but explain that in future she must ask mummy first, even if mummy seems busy.

I would also keep a much better eye on my purse, especially round my sister-in-laws.

Answer 3

No actually that's the age when stuff like this is gonna start happening. Your kids will amaze you in the things they do. Taking what's not theirs and LYING about it. You need to really address this NOW or it will continue. The fact that she lied to your sister in law ("mummy gave it to me for sweets") shows you already she knows what she was doing(taking something that wasn't hers, she may not know what "stealing" is, but she knows that money wasn't hers).
Address BOTH the taking of your money and the lying to her aunt.
Ages 3 and 4 are common for fibs and lies, being coniving and hiding things from you. It's nothing you've done or how you've raised her, all kids go through it. I give time-outs or take a toy for a week or so for when my 4yr' old lies. And I explain why i'm doing this, and the importance of "The Truth" and have her tell me if she understands. So talk and explain, don't spank or yell about it. You want them to trust you and not fear you(which leads to more lies and coniving behavior). Good luck.

Answer 4

I'm sorry , but i really don't know who is the most at fault here. your child for stealing the money or your sister-in -law who obviously has no sense, if she would think you would give a 3yr old five pounds for sweets. your child must understand that she was wrong. she should be punished in some way . not with violence. not allowing her sweets or the things she likes , should be sufficient. However i would sit your sister-in-law down and give her a telling off too. she could have called you before spending the money .

Answer 5

I feel that she is too young to know right from wrong. The best thing to do is to explain to her that it is wrong and why it is wrong. If she does it again then Mummy won't have any money to buy the food and that you all will be hungry. It may be interesting and useful for you to ask her, why she did it etc. I would keep your purse or anything important out of reach.

Best of luck

JJ

Answer 6

May not sound rite but she is an intelligent 3 year old! Don`t slap or hit her but sit her down and explain that she isn't aloud to do that and that it is wrong! You need to let her know that both "stealing" and "lying" to your sister in law is wrong. Maybe your daughter thinks that this is OK because you take money out of your purse and give it to other people so she thinks she can do the same! Just have a low tone word with her and sound like you mean it!

Answer 7

It is early. She sounds like a very bright little girl. It is wrong for her to do that, but I do not know if a 3 year old has a concept of stealing yet. You share everything else with her, the food in the house, you buy her clothes, etc. She probably does not understand.

It is a little hard to explain to a child because we "get into" their stuff, as far as moving the toys, going into their rooms, etc. You just need to make sure she knows that you are in charge of her and all of her things. She can have a little more privacy with her belongings later on.

Answer 8

Three is too early to lock her up, at that age they are programmed to collect things ( hunter gatherer ), she see's you as invincible, an infinite source of things, that you will always have more whereas she only has what you give her.

I think she will soon realise that there is an end to the supplies, especially if you were to act out there was no dinner because someone took your money, and as soon as possible I should enforce the importance of her team, or family unit, then later drive towards the sense of honour and pride.

Answer 9

your girl told a lie when she said you gave it to her. Tell her that telling lies is wrong. to be honest your sis in law should not have let her spend £5 on sweets without your knowlede. Couldn't she have let her spend 50 pence and then got back to you. £4 50 would be back in your purse and your girl would have still had her sweets. She has to learn not to tell lies, I dont see it as stealing as she is so young. i dont agree with smacking and a gentle talk should suffice.

Answer 10

The best way to handle this would be to sit with her and explain that taking something is stealing. Tell her that when people get older and they steal something from someone, that they go to jail. The best thing that you could do would be to talk to her. She is 3 and they don't really understand at that age. You, as a mom, would need to teach and explain it to her.