Boyfreind looking at other women?

Question

I get so so so tired of the whole concept. I want to show him how much it hurts me. I hate how women just have to learn to deal with it. I know I am gorgeous, that's not the problem, the problem is that I am jellous that my boyfreind has to look at other gorgeous women even though he loves me. I want to do something, but I don't know what. We have had many conversations about it. He gets just as upset that men look at me because I'm attractive, I do that he looks at other women. Should I try to look extra hot all the time, to get the point across that I am not the one who has to change, while he just stays the same. Confused. I don't like other guys looking at me in a sexual way, although, as any woman it is nice to feel attractive. I am in a battle with myself. What should I be a woman who doesn't try to look attractive ever unless she is alone with her man, or a woman who looks attractive anyway. He can't understand why women in a relationship would try to look attractive in public

Any more than I can understand why a man just can't help but look at other women when he has a deep loving relationship with a great sex life. And I would say to him, I want to look hotter on purpose as a response to you looking at other women. So ha. Its not that I feel I need to look hot for other guys, its for him and myself, to feel attractive for myself, and remind him how hot I am, when he sees those other girls.

Answer 1

I agree with you when you say that you are tired of "dealing with it." We shouldn't have to deal with something that hurts us because men are insensitive! By any means, do not stop looking the way you do. When he says he doesn't like men looking at you I would tell him very nicely, "Honey, I'm sure it's completely innocent, you know like when you look at other women." Let him think it doesn't bother you, and start looking at other men. Sometimes it takes playing the game to get your point across. The more of an issue you make out of it, the worse it will be. Men don't realize how they hurt us, but the only way to fight back is to sink to their level and stay nice about it. after all, if he isn't doing anything wrong, then neither are you. My husband was bringing home playboy magazines. I hated it, so I got a subscription to playgirl. He hated that more! Guess what? No more magazines...it works!

Answer 2

Believe it or not, men and women are DIFFERENT. 999 out of every 1000 guys will look at other women no matter how perfect their current relationship is. It's in our nature, it's enjoyable, and it hurts absolutely nobody to LOOK, so what's the problem? You say it hurts you, but what it really does is make you jealous -- which is your problem, not his (just as much as it's his problem he gets upset guys look at you, it's not your problem for being gorgeous).
Sounds to me like you both need to grow up a bit, learn to trust each other, and not sweat the small things. This is the world: people look at others all the time, both men and women, when they think someone else is attractive. The only time it's a problem is if they ACT after looking. If there's no action, just an admiring look now and then, you should just relax and get over it. So should he.

Answer 3

Why do men look at other women? Two reasons: the first is because it is, so to speak, "the nature of the beast." Men are men because of the testosterone they produce; and it is testosterone that drives the male of most species to want to fight and/or f*** pretty much every few seconds of every day. Since men tend to be driven to think about sexual behavior every few seconds, it is reasonable that they should be scoping out every female they come across. Secondly, ogling women is a cultural norm: even if you don't like it, our society considers it pretty normal behavior.

It is unfortunate that this causes you so much pain. But consider the old rule, "Look, but don't touch." If the worst thing he ever does in your relationship is look at another woman, then consider yourself supremely lucky. The fact is that the testosterone that drives men to look at other women also drives them to cheat. Statistically speaking, the younger the male, the greater the probability that he will cheat on you. It is no coincidence that as testosterone levels moderate in mens' 30's and 40's that the rate of adultery drops profoundly. Most men would think it a miracle if they made it through their 20's without cheating.

As you think of all this, consider also: if he quit looking at other women, could you really stop worrying at that point? If it is his normal behavior to look, wouldn't his stopping that behavior suggest that he has something to hide? You may come to find that you wish you hadn't made such a big deal of his looking and driven him "underground" and acting out in "covert" ways.

As to what you can do, I recommend that you let him look, so long as he has the decorum and good sense, NOT TO TALK about the women at whom he has gazed. Also, it is always good to look good even if only for your own sense of self-image and worth. Finally, the best way to keep your man's touch at home instead of wandering off with his looks on the street is truthfully to keep him satisfied. Release your inner freak just for him...because if there's trouble in the bed, there's trouble in the relationship. Now go be your sexiest self with him. He has everything he needs in you.

Answer 4

I have had the exact problem with my BF what you need to learn is that it is all natural! This is what guys do. Yeah he looks and other girls but so what by the end of the day he is going home with you. Now if he is really getting out of heand with it, sit him and down tell him exactly the way it feels. Now on woman trying to look good when they have a man. I do this however I do it for my MAN. think about it when you got with him your were looking good! Always keep your man wanting more.

Answer 5

Men will be men, ...that's the animalistic nature of the beast. You know you look good - so hold you head up never let him see YOU sweat. Don't feed his ego by telling him you want to look hotter because of what he is doing. It's very disrespectful for him to look at other woman in your presence. A man is going to look - you can't expect that he won't see beautiful woman. But he should only look at you when he's with you. Mention it, allow him to fix it but don't cry and whine to him about it...it's fuel and he will use it.

Just be proud of you and what you bring to the relationship and if he doesn't appreciate you then to the left, to the left....he can be replaced. One more thing, you should dress for you and look nice because you want to...try to stop thinking about how other guys are looking at you and if he will be jealous!! It's all about Y-O-U!! Trust me - A secure, self confident attitude is hotter than any outfit and makeup and REAL men will attract to it.
All the best.

Answer 6

You both are showing your insecurities by getting upset over this. Honey, you could look like a million bucks and he is still gonna look at other women just as you look at other men. The only way to make him stop is to put a ring in his nose and attach a leash. But hey, he's not a dog. Who knows maybe he enjoys you getting jealous.

Answer 7

how old are you? when I was a 18,19, I was sooooo jealous (I'm 24 now) maybe it's an age thing. I still get a little hurt when I see my guy looking at other girls but not nearly as jealous as I used to get. When you spend all your time arguing about him looking at other girls, it's just a big waste of time. You actually bring MORE attention to those girls you hate, because you're making them part of your guys relationship. The more you nag him about girls, the more he will not want to be with you. It is ok to look but if he's straight staring with his tongue hanging out, he deserves a slap upside the head. Good thing is you're allowed to look too!Unless he's touching, hitting on, flirting with other girls...then let him a little freedom. he's going home w/ YOU!!

Answer 8

Nothing like two insecure people going together you deserve each other. Next you will be getting married whoich should last as long as a whole week. Grow up and realise it's normal to look and think about other people

Answer 9

Quote "I am in a battle with myself" geez ain't that the truth...just reading the whole thing has left me exhausted...you sound insecure, very insecure, a look is nothing...you do not own your boyfriend he is an individual in his own right, if you are not careful you could drive him away right into the arms of these other women...jealousy is not very appealing to men, so be very careful.

Answer 10

Hello, First of all I think that you should try to look your best when you're out in public - because fair or not people judge you by how you look- until they get to know the inner you. Every straight guy likes to look at beautiful girls- you can't blame them for that - but they could be more polite about it though.Your boyfriend should keep his eyes on you if he truly loves you - because love is about loyalty...you should be his one & only..and he should not be checking out the competition right in front of you like that...that so disrespects you & dishonors you...I personally think that he should be more sensitive to your needs!.....hope this all works out for you..bye & good luck!