I'm not sure me and my boyfriend are still together. Once he got to Iraq he seemed not to miss me like he thought. So should I keep sending him things or just move on with me life as had as it may be. Every second of the day I think about him.
2006-09-27 09:56:30 · 16 answers · asked by peds LPN 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
+ Dropping him is about the coldest cruelest thing that you could do to someone that is out on the pointy end of the spear defending you. He most likely has little ability to comunicate with you and is trying his best to survive to get back home. He will not have much internet or phone access, and may or may not even be able to write often. In your next communication let him know about the interesting stuff you have going on and how you would ike him to be doing it with you (include him)
Example: I walked on the beach yesterday and saw out favorite Harbor seal (or seagull) Tomorrow I might go bring him the old bread from the freezer and feed it and take a picture for you.
Ask him what he wants or needs from home and concentrate on that stuff. There are many organizations that send candy and gum and stuff like that and yes all the troops share it, as believe it or not some guys get nothing from home. Not even a letter. If he cares about you all he will be thinking about is how to get home safe and as soon as possible. If things don't work out then deal with it when he returns. Guess when he is returning and ask him what he would like to do or where he would like to go when he gets back and then do some research on it and send him photos and info on it. When it gets close to the time he is coming back see if you can make a deposit for the excursion you have been looking into about a month after his return. Those things should help you keep occupied when he returns. He will also have some changes to deal with when he gets back, so be prepared. Do a little research into the problems that happen to returning military personnel so maybe you can help or at least understand what he may be going through.
2006-09-28 09:31:00 · answer #1 · answered by Clamdigger 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would keep sending packages to your boyfriend because that is all he has to the outside world. You have to remember that he is on a different mind set and environment. Plus some men don't like to tell how they are feeling when in a stressful situation which is exactly what he is in. When you send a package think of things you can send that will make him smile and he will be okay it could help with the stress that he has in his life at the present time.
2006-09-27 14:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep up the good job and send him more things. You can't imagine the things that go through your mind when your in a war zone. There is nothing over there for him to be cheating on you for if that's what your worried about. I teased my son when he went to Saudi Arabia that there was a beautiful woman behind every tree. His first letter to me was "Dad".. send trees, and he included a picture of a camel. When he got back home I asked him if the camel was a female. lol
Keep sending him the letters and care packages, I never got any when I was in Vietnam and envyed the guys that did.
2006-10-02 08:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by AL 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People like amesbh and Nicole are right.
My personal experience was that I turned cold, very cold in response to my significant other. Events that would leave me furious with anger over in the sandbox would seep over into my conversation and my personal life back home. It's hard to think of "the relationship" when you're in a burnout patrol rotation day in and day out. He may have a nice desk job, and that might not be relevant to him; but the stress level is still there regardless.
Depending on what branch he is, it could be all the way up to a year he's gone. That's a long time for people to let their emotions run raw and close to the surface. A good deal of the "numbing out" is usually what happens. Give him a chance. Keep on writing him. You're obviously still in love with him, and you both deserve a chance to air things out. Maybe he feels that you couldn't possibly understand what he's going through. Maybe he wants to just protect you from what he's enduring day after day.
You don't have to keep on sending him things if it hurts your pocketbook, but when you don't send anything at all, it'll hurt him over there as abandonment. Keep on sending letters, at least, Keep on talking to him. If he's really changed and you two are better off apart, at least you'll know through talking to him than finding out the hard way when he gets back, or chooses not to come home at all.
2006-09-27 12:44:33 · answer #4 · answered by Nat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You still think about him every second- you are not ready to move on. If he's in the military, a hard exterior is a must in order to deal with the harsh realities of being overseas and in danger. Also, people deal with these types of emotions (missing loved ones) differently. He may be trying to be brave for you, hoping that if he's ok, you're ok. Keep sending the packages; You're a good girlfriend.
2006-09-27 10:00:20 · answer #5 · answered by amesbh 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I really don't see why you're asking this question. You asked a previous question about the military destroying relationships because you got an e-mail and he said it wasn't going to work. So why would you even ask?? He gave you your answer. I know how hard war and deployments can be for all involved. It seems you're holding onto something that isn't there. You can think about him and hold him in your prayers, but I'd back off. The more you try to force yourself on him, the more he's going to resent you. He's told you how he feels, now leave it at that. Drop him a letter now and then to make sure he's alright. Stop with the packages and stuff until he asks you for them. If he meant what he said, that's not going to happen.
2006-09-27 14:43:42 · answer #6 · answered by HEartstrinGs 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would keep sending him stuff don't forget war is hard... he needs all the support that he can get I'm sure that he misses you but there is a lot going on for him right now so he can't sit there and think about you all the time... so unless he specifically asks you not to send him stuff I would keep sending him any thing you think he might need...
2006-09-27 10:48:55 · answer #7 · answered by A_Soldiers_Wife 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
YES keep sending him things. He may not show it (he has a lot on his mind), but he really does miss you. There is nothing worse to do a service member than dump them or cheat on them while they are deployed. Stick it out until he comes home and you can talk to him about it.
2006-10-02 13:11:24 · answer #8 · answered by fin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be that the reason he doesn't miss you as much as he thought is because he is busier than he thought he would be and doesn't have much time to think about anything but the job he is doing. And when he is off duty he is probably so tired that he is just thinking about getting some sleep.
2006-09-27 13:42:28 · answer #9 · answered by Jeff F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it makes you feel comfortabley by sending things to him do so perhaps even send him a phone card so he could call you. Or perhaps you can go the whole nine yards and send him a cell phone with your number already programmed into it.
2006-09-27 10:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by robert s 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋