I lost my father when I was 7 and he was 47. I have never called anyone Dad and often wonder if having a fathers influence would have changed the person that I have become.
What do you think?
2006-09-27 09:37:44 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It really depends on the man who has kids. I think some men simply are not fit to be fathers. My biological father is one of them. He is very intelligent but morally ambiguous. He is an emotional cripple and may also have a personality disorder. By the time he was 17, he had severed ties with his own parents and would not talk to them. He's been married at least three times. He never discussed his parents with me. I was 12 when I broke ties with him and we haven't talked since. I am almost 37 now. I understand that he doesn't talk to my sister, either. I was raised by my mother (they divorced) from age 10 onward. I believe that if I had been raised further along by my father that I would have become a criminal. He probably would have kicked me out during my teen years. My sister left him by age 17. I never learned trust or emotional closeness from either of my parents as they aren't capable. As a result, I have never been in a relationship. My father still adamantly refuses to talk to me and my mother is busy with her own life out of state. I am almost certain that I am not fit for fatherhood. I've heard that my sister, although married, would rather adopt than have her own children.
2006-09-27 10:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by TarKettle 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
By all means....both parents are equally important. There is the age old adage that goes "A mother's son"...."A father's daughter" have you ever heard that? Given that fact it's understandable that you miss your Dad. Would it have changed you.....not from where I'm sitting. First of all, the things you say in your question, the fact that you've never called anyone else "Dad".....as far as his influence, for you, the way it sounds, you've kept his influence right next to your heart, which is well you should. I'll tell you something I've never told another living soul.......I lost my Mom at seventeen(17) I was torn up. I joined the Army, in 1965, about two(2) weeks after she passed. I voulenteered for every dangerous thing I could, while in Viet-Nam something came over me...a change I can't explain, I began to like hunting and killing the "gooks", I took chances, my heart was so broken that living meant nothing,I should have died over there. After my first tour of duty ( a year) was up, I voulenteered for another ninty(90) days, when that was up, I did it again, when that one was up ,I tryed to do it again, by this time......I was seriously in trouble, painting my face in the blood of the gooks I had killed, I picked up the reputation of being crazy, I'm a little guy, so I became a "tunnel rat" I won't go into that, luckily for me the platoon leader recognized that something was terribly wrong, he didn't approve my request for TDY........I went home....a seriously disturebed nineteen(19) year old "BOY". Well, to make a long story short, I was diagnoised with P.T.S.D., not from the killing.......from the loss of my mother. After a number of years of intence therapy,I regained some sense, not much......but I could tie my shoes LOL. Can the loss of a parent influence a person.....I think we'll agree it can. It sounds like you're doing fine, keep his memory alive by doing what you'd think he'd want you to do. GOOD LUCK......LATER
2006-09-27 17:22:37 · answer #2 · answered by veteranpainter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Strange. My dad was 47 too when he died. I was only a kid and I definitely feel that if he'd lived I would have been different. Not better different or worse different, just different. I really feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff. Especially when I look at my own kids now and see what having a father means to them. Dont get me wrong, my mother was wonderful but she had to work very hard having been left widowed. Dad's are for frills! I see my daughter putting the touch on her Dad and he's a sucker for it!
Ah well, we'll never know but I just feel that things might have been different if he'd lived for longer.
2006-09-27 16:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel Maria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww..first of all i would like to say that you're a very brave person to talk about someone that has been so close to you before. i would probally think that by having a dad throughout most of your life he will somewhat have an impact on who you are..but it depends on the personality of your father. i look up to my father and i want to be sucessful like him in the future but since you've lost your dad at a young age you probally look up towards your mum. In the end..i think your parents only influence the persone you are a little bit as you have control of who and how you want to be like.
2006-09-27 16:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by jennnii* 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear you loss your dad at such an early age but no i don't think having a fathers influence would have change the person you become.i have often wonder this but i don't really thing it makes any difference i know i have a father but i have never met him and now its too late,but ime who i am throw my mum bringing me up and she was wonderful and still his you are you and you should be proud off your self too.
2006-09-28 05:29:07 · answer #5 · answered by skye 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it would , I lost my dad when I was 2 so do not remember him. To lose him at 7 is worse because you have some knowledge of him. Everyone and everything we encounter throughout our lives builds our character and influences us to some extent, but in what way you would be different who can say??. We have to go forward with what we have,!!!!!!
2006-09-27 16:55:48 · answer #6 · answered by Dolly Blue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it would have. I only had my father in my life for the first 8 yrs. Its unfortunate that men dont understand just how important their role is for girls and boys alike. And its unfortunate that most men are just not even equipped to be good fathers. This all has to change.
2006-09-27 16:44:48 · answer #7 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Everything that happens to us in life affects who we are. So, yes, I am sure you would have been a different person in some respects if your dad had been around. Do I think you would have been a better person? Not necessarily, just maybe a little different.
2006-09-27 16:42:01 · answer #8 · answered by Amy J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you hun, my dad was 40 when i was born. I am now 50 and he is 90 and has been a huge influence in my life. The old codger is fitter than i am......
2006-09-27 16:49:50 · answer #9 · answered by pat.rob00 Chef U.K. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely, it is said that we are the sum of all our experiences.
So, you should be different from what you would be if your father had lived longer. Not saying you would be a better or worse person, just different.
2006-09-27 16:43:32 · answer #10 · answered by Dr. Feelgood 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋