I have an ex girlfriend who is pregnant but neither her nor her family wants me to have any thing to do with the baby.i'm pretty sure that the baby is mine but not a 100%.i have hearde that she wants to give it up for adoption.i have recived threats by her family and told that i am to have nothing to do with the baby.i don't know when the baby is do and seem to have no way to find out.i know a month and that's it.I want to fight for the baby and make it part of my life.it's mother wants nothing to do with it.i am on low income and cannot afford a decent lawyer.what can i do or who can i see that isn't going to cost me an arm and a leg.Thank you for any help you can give
2006-09-27 09:31:50 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
YOU have every right to raise that baby. In your city, most lawyers provide free legal advice, some even provide free service (it is called PRO BONO work)... some states/cities, make the lawyers do this to keep their licenses. Get ahold of your county courthouse and ask the circuit clerk who to contact. Next get to that lawyer IMMEDIATELY!!!! this is not stressed enough... IMMEDIATELY....... Go to your local place where you get food stamps and medical card, your health department.... they will also help you find a lawyer. They give information on how to get "deadbeat dads" to provide child support, they can help you get in touch with a lawyer.... In our state (ILLINOIS), we have a free legal service by college students studying to be lawyers... do you have that in your state? Until you know for sure that the baby is yours, her family CAN NOT prevent you, threaten you, or what have you from being in the babies life. You also need to get ahold of the police. If she gives it up for adoption and you haven't had a say so in the action, she could get in trouble. I wish you would email me....You can find out when the baby is due by getting ahold of the doctor.... or if she is on public assistance, they should HAVE to tell you her due date. Let them know you think you are the father and you want everything to do with this child... if that means taking sole custody of the child... then so be it.. beings she is wanting to give it up... YOU are not in the wrong on this decision... YOU HAVE RIGHTS AS THE FATHER.... LIVE UP TO YOUR RIGHTS. This is sad.... PLEASE EMAIL ME @ samiam36@mchsi.com
THAT IS samiam36@mchsi.com... when you email me.. I can give you further instructions on what to do... email me before you go into action on ANY of the previous stuff I said......
2006-09-27 09:56:51 · answer #1 · answered by shortymaciam 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
May I ask How old You Are? How old is the Girl? (Very Important?)Are you in School? Have you Finished High School or College?
I ask as I was pregnant at 15 and gave my baby up for adoption.
I met him 30 years later, and he was so grateful I had the strength to give him up and let him have a normal happy life with to adult parents .They gave him a great life filled with love. They
loved him more then anything. I met his adopted mom and dad after 30 yrs and they are great. Today they have open adoptions too. I am so happy I made the decision..(even though it was the hardest thing I ever did in my life)...to put his needs and care and happiness before my own. I think that is what a good parent does. Put's their children needs and happiness first. think about it okay sweetheart. If you are still in need of help and have thought it through, and are old enough to support a child and be there in it's life..come back and ask again. But it would give that child a better chance in life if you get a good education first. I hope you don't think I am being to tough...I know it's hard.
2006-09-27 09:35:13 · answer #2 · answered by Grandma Coffee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Find an attorney who will work with you on costs. Call the local bar association, and they will assist you. Do not underestimate how much a good attorney can make a difference.
2. Every time her family threatens you, file a police report. That creates a record that will help when the matter goes to court.
3. Consider getting counseling for yourself because processes like these are highly stressful, as you already are seeing. That way, you're taking care of yourself and keeping yourself right.
2006-09-27 09:42:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can get a consultation from a lawyer. See what they say. There is also Lawyer Aid out there. Ask about that.
Just because the mother gives birth doesn't give her sole right to the child. It takes two to make a baby. If you want that baby and she doesn't, fight for it. FIGHT! Get a summons. She can't give the baby up if you are truly the father and you want the baby. After the baby is born, get a paternity test. If the baby is truly yours, then you have as much right to it than she does.
Sounds like her family needs help. Don't worry about them. Worry about what you need to do to establish your rights. Seek out Social Services. They may help too. County Attorney. Whoever you need to. There is someone out there that will help you and do it free of charge. But do it soon before that baby is born and she gives it up before you had a chance to fight for it. God bless you. So so much. May God bless you and everything your about to do.
2006-09-27 09:39:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if she goes to put it up for adoption then you will have to be notified unless she lies to them. I think you should go down to the local child services office and ask them for help. If she really doesn't want to keep the baby then you are first in line to get the baby if you are found to be the father. Child Services should be able to tell you more of what to do. The parents of the mother can not keep you from the child unless a court tells you you can't be around the child. The parents can keep you from the mother. That is still their daughter.
2006-09-27 09:37:49 · answer #5 · answered by tabbaco1980 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she does in deed put the baby up for adoption they will have to notify the father. They put notices in the newspaper, but it's all anonymous. They must try to contact the father for 30 days after that the father's parental rights are terminated. You can always call legal aid in your area(look in your community section of the phone book) and discuss your options with them(they provide legal help for those who can't afford it). You can also call a lawyer and see if they will take the case pro bono(some will). I know their maybe more options out there, but this is all I know. Hopefully it's been helpful.
2006-09-27 09:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by a1dermommy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said exgirlfriend.. that's the key....
You have no say if she goes and has an abortion... But she can't give the baby up for adoption without the fathers signature.
Big deal about the family threats!!! They are just angry words from ignorant people.
Call your local human services department.. Explain that your exgf is pregnant and you're 99% sure it's yours and you would like a paternity test when the baby is born..
Get them involved.. and it doesn't cost you anything..
Good luck!
2006-09-27 09:35:35 · answer #7 · answered by SassySista 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was 23 when I gave up my child. I knew I didn't want to kill her, but I couldn't afford to keep her and my parents SURE didn't want anything to do with her. She went to a really great family as per my doctor who helped in the situation. After 22 years it STILL haunts me, though! I miss her DEEPLY and she probably hates me! I said that to say this - FIGHT FOR THAT BABY!!! If he or she IS yours - you have that right! Get legal aid aka court on the phone! There's gotta be SOMEONE out there who wants & CAN help. P.S. The father of my girl wanted me to abort her so I commend you with HUGE praise!! Good luck and God speed!!
2006-09-27 09:46:41 · answer #8 · answered by curiousgeorgette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are free lawyers that you can see. and there are also those that won't charge you unless your case is won. You should google it. If she's trying to give it up for adoption then you have a bigger chance of getting him or her. Take her to court. Even if you do have a low income you can get a better job or get on welfare until you make more money. GOOD LUCK! I hope everything goes well.
2006-09-27 09:42:52 · answer #9 · answered by Super Shasta Gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get some legal help with this. There are organizations that offer free or very cheap legal help to people in your position. Here is a link: http://www.lscci.org/flh.htm
Unfortunately the Mother has most of the rights in this situation. I find it commendable that you are willing to take responsibility. Although I think you realize now that you and your X made a mistake.
God Bless!
2006-09-27 09:42:17 · answer #10 · answered by m_c_m_a_n 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋