Ive tried everything.I dont let her watch television that isnt on her level, and she isnt around violent people but she wants to do whatever she wants to do.Her dad passed away when I was pregnant with her but every since she was about 6mths she has always had a father figure and she loves and looks up to him very much.What should I do to get her to listen?I love her very much and only want the best for her.Spanking is definatley not an option.Do you have any advice?
2006-09-27 08:48:29 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
If you have tried everything else than spanking is probably the only thing that is going to work, otherwise there is something wrong. If she is out of control at 4 then you need to get a grip on her quick before she is really out of control.
Few ideas:
time out
talking to her
putting her nose in a corner
taking toys away
ignore her (unless she is hurt and really needs you)
scream/ cry right back at her
get on the floor and roll around like your throwing a fit
return everything she does back at her (ex. if she says why after everything you ask do the same back to her everytime she asks you something until she gets annoyed)
Good luck!!!
2006-09-27 08:54:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Check out Common Sense Parenting
It works! There is a toddler/ preschooler edition out. Find this book and read up. Also many schools and other agencies offer this as a class (often free or very cheap)
The number one thing that this book teaches is positive reinforcement. You know those really annoying moms that run around saying "good job Timmy" and "oh I'm so proud of you for not screaming when we were leaving the store" or whatever. Do it, fake it, they love it!
2 things we use from the book most...
We use sticker charts in my house for my 2 yr old. We pick a specific behavior that we want to work on (using his words, saying thank you, cleaning up, waiting without screaming, potty in the toilet) and we put up a piece of paper with his new behavior and everytime he does it right he gets a sticker and smothered in kisses
Contingencies... If you do ____ you can do/have ____ This is not bribing it is rewarding (bribing is giving your kid something to shut them up even if there behavior is crappy) Find something you kids like and use it to change them into something you can live with.
Find this book or class or workbook at boystownpress.org it will change you life!!
2006-09-28 00:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by BreeCan2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My 3 and a half year old is the same way alot of the time. He isn't exposed to any kind of violence (unless it is kids fighting and hitting at preschool!) I take things away....i start with no bedtime stories, then tv shows and favorite toys, then trips to the park, etc...each time after i take something..i am very firm with an angry tone to my voice and i say "if you keep not listening, i'll keep taking more and more things away so think about it before to don't listen to me"...it works most of the time...and if it gets to be too much and it's not working...he has to go to his room for a half hour.
2006-09-27 17:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by H F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a 4 yr old doing the same thing!...her father and I split up when i was pregnant... i also have another daughter who's 3 years older and i think its just something they go though around that age!...best thing i can say it to muddle though it doesn't last forever. don't change the rules and don't treat her any different when you catch her being good lay on the praise big style but then she is misbehaving as long as shes not hurting herself or anyone else just totally ignore her...it will take a couple of weeks maybe a month but it will work..good luck
2006-09-27 15:54:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to be rude but think of what you said. You have tried everything but spanking, and nothing has worked. I am not saying that you should always use that method but the bible says if you spare the rod you spoil the child. Of course you don't want to go that route, but being a mom of a 4 year old too, sometimes we might have no choice. Good Luck!!
2006-09-27 21:07:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there's always the old fashion corner and time out but if she's like my 5 year old step daughter that doesnt much work. Sit her down and explain her behavior to her and try the reward program like if she's good you get to do things and if she's not she can sit down or go to bed till she feels like obeying what you have to say...Our problem is her grandma doesnt disicpline her and she thinks she can say,do,or have whatever she wants so get ahold of it now before shes older and its harder sorry I cant help more. If you find something that works let me know!
2006-09-27 15:53:32 · answer #6 · answered by Amy W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is the male figure, and when she does look at TV ,what do she watch, she sounds grown,make sure she is not around adults all the time but ,remember their is some other child a lot worse than yours ,love her ,talk to her let her know that the things she is doing is unacceptable
2006-09-27 16:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by elizabeth_davis28 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lock her in an empty room for a couple of days. Let her out to feed her, bathe her, and so she can go to the bathroom.
She'll get the message quick enough.
2006-09-27 15:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to be firm with her and consistent. For some reason she doesn't want to recognize that you are the boss. However you discipline her, be consistent. I don't spank either, and time outs work well for us. Even in stores, if my daughter acts up, either my husband or myself take her out to the car for her time out. You might have a lot of work ahead of you, but stick with it, and she'll figure out who the boss is.
2006-09-27 15:53:33 · answer #9 · answered by S. O. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you try ignoring her every now and then... if what she is asking for isnt a NEED then dont listen... explain to her that if she doesnt listen to you that you will not listen to her...see if that works.
2006-09-27 15:52:12 · answer #10 · answered by iluvdiamonds18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋