Parents, What do you think about spanking?

Question

I have an 18 month old daughter and I sometimes spank her when she does something that she shouldnt do. I don't do it often but when I do it I see that it really works. I just want to know your opinions so if you're just going to tell me that I'm a horrible mother and shouldn't have kids then just click on the back button on your computer and go to another question!

Answer 1

I think light spanking is a necessary part of raising a disciplined and responsible child, although I know many don't agree with me these days. I think that rather than draw a line as to what is child abuse and what isn't, society decided it was easier to claim all physical punishment is harmful and abusive. I am a health care professional, a mother of four, and I spank my kids occasionally. Fortunately, because I instituted this policy early, I do not have to do it very often at all now that my children are older. It works, and for those who don't like it, you can make that choice with your own children.

Answer 2

I think that the point when parents were told they were not allowed to spank their kids was the point when more kids started ending up in juvenile hall. However I do not think an 18 month old fully comprehends action and reaction. (Do something naughty and get spanked) Positive re-enforcement and repeating the rules is something that is still effective at this age. (Before they start back-talking)
I do speak from experience... I am the oldest of 4 kids (10 years older than the youngest 2, and have 2 of my own.
If you are going to spank younger than three I actually have a reference book that was my great-grandmother's. It was handwritten over the last 5 generations of mothers and has a very cute page on 'reprimands'.

-If a child is not behaving and 'chair time' nor 'quiet time' nor hugs have helped...a swat of the fingers 'one for each year' my sometimes be needed on said child's rear.
- After age 5 my family used a wooden spoon (not currently used but is hanging on the wall with the names of all children n the last 125 years who have deserved it's attention)

So I would say just keep in mind your daughter is still a baby. She is still learning. You want to be sure she understands why she is in trouble. {Don't touch the stove, it's hot (then a light tap on her fingers)} I am sure you'll do fine.

Answer 3

Spanking works at that age. The best way is a couple of sharp pops to an undiapered bottom.

There is really no question that spanking--if done correctly works better than any other form of punishment. Of course, there are some "epxerts" and parents who say that punishment should have no role in child discipline. These people talk about "natural consequences"--I have no idea what this means--should we let a child get run over when they run in the street?

A lot of these people advocate reason and talk--kinda difficult with an 18 year old if you ask me.

The research showing that spanking does not work or causes violence is seriously flawed. In fact there is good scientific research showing it does not cause violence and is the most effective way to get kids to comply with their parents' wishes. I wrote about this extensively on my blog in an entry call "A Critique of Anti-Spanking Research"--you can get there from my Yahoo Anwers profile. The entry is no longer highlighted--you need to go through the old articles and find it.

Answer 4

I think that spanking should be the last resort. Sometimes just a firm "no" will work and sometimes you need time outs. I think working with a child and really telling them and explaining right and wrong can be just as effective as spanking. Sometimes I see spanking as a lazy way out but if you feel it works best for you, then go for it. Every child is different. And I dont think you are a bad parent at all for spanking your child sometimes.

Answer 5

I leave spanking as the last choice, but sometimes they make me soooo mad that I cannot control myself, but 18 months is a bit too young, I don't think they understand much at this age, they just test you, and wait for approval or a strong "No", but you are not a horrible mother, I'm a mother and I know exactly how it feels to be so mad that you cannot stop yourself from spanking.

Answer 6

I don't think you are a bad parent.One thing about parenting is you have to try things out and whatever your family is comfortable with that's what you stick with.I have a 4 and 8 year old and I tried the "spanking technique" I personally don't believe that it helps.it really just encourages violence and I do want my kids to respect my rules but at the same time I don't want them to be fearful of me why they are doing it.Talking doesn't really help either but taking away privileges does help with my 8yr old and my 4 yr old stands in the corner or they have a early dinner and go to bed early.they really dont like that.I hope some of my tips help

Answer 7

I just don't think at 18 months she understands. Maybe I am wrong....I use time out for my kids and seems to work well. However, if they put themselves in a dangerous situation I will spank them. Like running out in the street or through a parking lot.

Answer 8

I think spanking gets quick, fear-based results. It can feel good because it expresses your anger and you see an immediate change in behavior.

However . . . and this is where you won't like my answer . . . spanking is just a synonym for hitting. And it's illogical to think that hitting teaches anything other than fear and that it's ok to hit. Respecting your child's bodily integrity and using role modeling, gentle discipline, and attachment parenting techniques will take longer, but also have more long-term effects. It's an investment in your child's character -- be who you want her to be. If I want my daughter to be kind, compassionate, respectful, and curious, I need to show her by being those things myself. Actions speak louder than words.

Answer 9

I was spanked and I am going to spank my kids! I think it shows that consequences for our actions hurt us. My daughter is 17 months and I don't really spank her yet. She does know what she is doing wrong. But when the time comes that she is deliberately disobeying, I will spank. In the mean time, she throws tantrums and I just watch.

Answer 10

At 18 months old, I think a few "pops" on the back of the hand and a firm "no" should be enough. Like you, I only used spanking as a last resort and as a way to correct behavior, not as punishment.