This is the longest question ever, but I would really appreciate and honest truthful answer, thanks?

Question

Ok here goes:


I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years

A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago


can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything

This is what she replied

hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.





This is what I replied



hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.




Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young

Answer 1

Of course I can't say exactly what's going on with her except that she wants to keep you as a friend and doesn't (right now) want to go any further or change the direction of the relationship.

She told you this up front when you asked her, so you need to respect this.

It's possible that she doesn't have any romantic feelings for you, in which case pushing will spoil the relationship.

It's possible that she does have other feelings, but is afraid of pursuing them right now, in which case pushing will spoil things.

It's quite likely that her feelings are changing, shifting, confused, in which case pushing will, well, you get the idea.

I know it seems, it FEELS urgent to you, but that's just how things are.

You two have a good thing, and your having communicated where you each stand seems to have cleared the air, enabling you to continue your friendship.

Don't keep pushing; you got your answer. Give her time. She's only 13, whether she's uninterested in more, confused, or afraid of getting in over her head, she has the right to not be pressured, and pressuring her is counter-productive.

It may be that your feelings for her will change, or that she will come around. No one knows.

So, continue the friendship, don't try for more now, and wait and see how things go.

It isn't an emergency. You get to be together and spend time with each other. Enjoy that, and try to be patient.

You never know what will happen three weeks or three months or three years from now.

Answer 2

Ii actually read all of it!
You are very sweet and open. I am old so, yes! you are too young for worrying so much. When i was 13 i used to like a new boy every week almost, and it would go. She seems to love you, and valuewhat you have.
At your age, things are meant to be a bit innocent, so there should not be any sex yet or much more than a little kiss now and again, I guess you just need her to admit she is there for you and not for any other guy.
She sounds like she wants to have fun but is scared of loosing your friendship if you go with another girl, is very natural to try and keep you there, maybe she is not intentionally being mean to you.
If she goes with the other one, one thing is for sure, it won't last, simply because at 13 nothing lasts!
Enjoy her company and only believe that something is really happening when it feels natural for both of you.

Answer 3

I think that she maybe more scared than anything. Being 13 is an age that is very confusing for girls. I don't think that she is trying to get rid of you. I think that her feelings for you are different now. She may feel the same way you do and is afraid that your friendship will not be as close as you two have always been. But, you asking her mother is a little strange. I would think that you didn't trust me to talk to me about it. Both of you are growing up and I think you should keep talking with her as you always had. Email her and don't push her into anything at this time. You may push her away if you keep urging her to answer your questions.

Answer 4

i think she's being pretty mature for 13 ... and that you need to chill out ... you have a friendship now ... maybe in 2 or 3 years it'll be more ... but right now it sounds like she's just being a normal 13 year old girl ... let her be young and you should be too ... dating & sex comes later enjoy your teenage years!!
she's probably acting more comfortable because she's cleared the air with you ... and her flirting and looking at you or others is just that ... nothing more.
Take care and be friends with her ... who knows in 10 years you could be getting married and laughing at this stage in your life!!

Answer 5

Wow - that was a lot to get through and to be honest I skimmed most of it. I would take what she said at face value. She values your friendship, and doesn't want it to go any further than that. She's more comfortable with you now that she's told you that, and so she's flirting again - which is probably part of her personality (some females are just born flirts - I know I am one). Don't push it or you will push her away, and she won't be your friend. :) good luck.

Answer 6

I would probably wait a while. Girls at that age, don't know what they want nor what they want to do in life either. She probably just doesn't want to be so commited at such a young age. She's got so much to experience before such a commited relationship can happen. Both of you have plenty of time for anything to happen, don't fret about it too much. Let things happen naturally, don't rush into anything neither of you might be ready for.

Answer 7

I think she might just be scared of ruining the friendship. Which is why you should prove to her that your friendship can never be demolished. You need to email her again, telling her how you think of her so often, how you would hate to see her go, and that you two's friendship is a value to you. But at the same time you need to tell her what you want her to hear. What you want her to hear from your heart.

My best of wishes, and luck, to both of you.
Stephanie

Answer 8

Drama King! she seems more mature than you Now focuse in your EDucation

Answer 9

I have no intention of reading your question. Keep it shorter next time.

Answer 10

cant read dat much...sry....m a lil impatient...newayz best of luck 4 whatever u do..!!!! lolz