I'm out of a realstionship 4 1/2 yrs, emotionally less than two. I've a lovely 8 yr old with him and we don't see him that often, I keep it at a detached distance. I can be lonely but I really can't be bothered to look for anyone and when I do meet someone I find attractive I have the relationship over in my head before its even started and tell myself no point starting it? I am confused!!
2006-09-27 08:10:19 · 7 answers · asked by kildarababe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Might it be that you still have some unresolved issues from the last relationship? How did that relationship end? What was it like while you were in it? You say you've been "emotionally" out of the relationship two years, which means for 2 1/2 before that, you weren't - and you avoid getting involved again, which shows that you aren't as "out" as you thought.
It's natural to try to protect yourself from being hurt again by avoiding the chance of being hurt in the future. Natural, but it doesn't work. Being lonely is also a kind of hurt.
Maybe you should try approaching new relationships as possible friendships, without putting the burden of romance on them. One can never have enough good friends, right? Plus, getting to know someone well before getting involved is your best protection against getting hurt again.
Why not open yourself to new friendships and let romance take care of itself? Go out (dutch) with anyone you find interesting, looking to get to know him. If, down the line, you get to know someone who could be more than a friend, you'd have that trust built up.
Too, you might remind yourself that you are strong enough to risk new relationships. After all, you survived the breakup of the last one, and you'd survive if another ended. Recognizing how strong you are gives you the confidence to be open to new people.
Perhaps this is the time for you to learn to open yourself to new friendships, get to know new people, build that support network that will give you confidence. When the right person comes along, you'll be ready to give it a try. Good luck!
2006-09-27 08:19:14 · answer #1 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ur pain. I feel exactly that way too sometimes when I see an attractive boy out there that looks like my cutie.
2006-09-27 08:14:50 · answer #2 · answered by d8jk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well girl its about time you got of your mum and start thinking about your self and your boy and what sort of life you want.some one will come a long its just a waiting game so hang in their.
2006-09-27 08:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably got psychological/attention seeking problems ... ur a girl ain't u ..?
2006-09-27 08:17:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL It comes with "YOU WANT WHAT YOU CANT HAVE" I had the same problem.... If you want it from a far and dont want it when its in ur face, then u need to let it be.
2006-09-27 08:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by Wish u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no doubt that you are in confusion. it all starts with lack of 'mine' feeling. mine is a pronoun means belongs to me. so develop positive thinking of mine.
2006-09-27 08:23:10 · answer #6 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be hard to be positive, if you fear rejection more.
2006-09-27 08:18:02 · answer #7 · answered by Christian C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋