my mum had die in 2004 and my mate told me to foget about her and told me to get a life and im not sure what i got to do help plez
2006-09-27 07:53:56 · 11 answers · asked by VKF Jr. 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
1) take his advice, DO get a life (without that jerk!)
2) allow yourself to Grieve: that means, go thru the hurt, the pain, the sadness, allow yourself to Cry. let it go slowly.. not because u don't care about her anymore, but because now it's Your turn to live the best life u can, because life is precious, dear, important. u are just as important to someone as your mother was to you, which is why it's so important to live a Good life.
3) seek a counselor, or surround urself with Supportive friends. if they are not supportive, go to a group that u can talk to, that have gone thru similar things. u can find some at the YMCA or u can start one yourself at a shelter, etc. don't worry, life and death is a cycle; everyone has to experience one way or another, but u can CHOOSE to do what is Healthy, Happy and Positive.
4) take care of yourself, and those around you. filter out the negative people; allow your mate to change, but do'nt stay with him if he constantly makes u feel Negative or Sad or Depressed. he needs to change, in order to help you and stay with you.
good luck
2006-09-27 08:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
get rid of that thoughtless mate and possibly go into some therapy if the issues you have of mum dying are still making you depressed and making you cry all the time when you think about her. Don't EVER forget her though. My dad died last year and I'm still having a hard time with it. If you forget someone like that that was so special in your life then whats the point of living life? Our parents are some of the most important people in our lives and shouldn't be forgotten or pushed aside because they are gone. You are always gonna miss her, but with some therapy you might not have such a hard time when you are reminded of her. By that i mean, when you are reminded of her you will smile about the great memories you have of her instead of crying because she is gone. Good luck to you!
2006-09-27 08:04:51 · answer #2 · answered by bobbie21brady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
loosing a parent can be a very tragic event in someone's life and it can linger for a long time.
You have not said if you are a guy or a gal. I must presume you are a gal because of how you have worded your question.
Women often have a much harder time dealing with the death of a parent, especially their mother, if they were close to them.
I do not often recommend counseling because most councilors are a waste of time and money. I have been to councilors myself and found them to be total idiots!
Time is the most healing factor. You must realize that life must go on, and your mum would agree with that. Yes, You loved and still love her very much but don't let it affect your life to the point that you cannot carry on normal life and relationships. Death is a part of living and we all must eventually go through it. Remember the good memories and learn from them and move on with your life.
I have lost both my father and step father. My mother is still alive at 95. She has had a very good life, and I will miss her when she is gone. Her life today is no longer that good.
2006-09-27 08:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by pinelake302 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you will never forget. that was your mom and you know i have just recently had this experience in a different way. my best friend just recently passed away. he was only 20 years old. they are with you forever. they never leave you. She will always be a part of you. she raised you, she was there for you in good times and bad. Im not sure what you believe, but what i believe, is that you can still talk to her, she is up in heaven but she is still with you in your heart and whenever you are missing her talk to her. this is something that i must learn to not only say but also do. She is still there for you even though she is not physically here.
2006-09-27 08:04:22 · answer #4 · answered by craightlin6884 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all dump the mate if they told you to forget about her and get a life. Second of all go get some counseling, such as grief, as it seems you have issues with her death.
2006-09-27 07:57:32 · answer #5 · answered by nursingsec8066 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take the time and go through the pain tell u mate that what he or she said is wrong
2006-09-27 08:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell your mate to get off your back. It's your mother for god sake. Tell him or her to have a heart, I would leave him/her.
2006-09-27 07:57:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you need to grieve over her that was cold of him to say maybe he just wants to help you to get over the pain or maybe he doesn't want to talk about her!
2006-09-27 08:00:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your mate that talking like that isn't very matey!
2006-09-27 07:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by Rebecca V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to speak properly, first of all. Get mental counseling after that.
2006-09-27 07:55:37 · answer #10 · answered by Jessiekatsopolous 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋