I started dating this woman last Nov. We had been friends for many, many years. She actually asked two people to approach me--to get me to ask her out. I did. I started to get feelings for her, then a few months ago she started pulling back and told me that she's getting the "message" that we should just be close friends. When I told her that I wanted to distance myself for a while, she got angry and claimed that I was trying to get back at her--the whole "I hurt you, so you're trying to hurt me back" thing. I just needed space. She really likes being around me. I just don' t understand her mind at all. There are times when she is so warm and affectionate. Any insight at all would be appreciated....
2006-09-27 07:33:53 · 24 answers · asked by happy4u 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
she sounds kinda weird.... =T. not to say anything Bad about her, but think of it this way: figure out, what do u want in a woman? do u want someone who is Confident, Happy, Positive, Secure, and Sure of her feelings? or do u want someone who is unsure, and lacks the ability to communicate with you, and gets angry, and is not easy to understand? she is showing u her personality and how she is in a relationship, how she deals with issues and things. if u are into her, fine, try and wait. but if i were u, i'd be adamant about what kind of person I want to be, and what kind of person I want to be in a relationship with. and if we can't work together to become better, happier, etc, than it's better to leave it as friends and that's it. no playing games, no trying to hurt each other. if she truly trusted u as a friend, she wouldn't've gotten angry at you. obviously she has conflicted feelings w/in herself, and is not communicating that with you. if u are close, ask her, or talk to her. but if not, i say let her go and keep searching for someone who cares about ur feelings enough to let u in on what's going on.
2006-09-27 07:37:29 · answer #1 · answered by tarmee2006 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly!!
she has developed real feelings for you over the time, so when u wanted to distant urself from her she felt bad cause she got too attached to you. I feel that she really likes you, now that u guys have been dating for a while, so she feels that u hurt her by taking space and going away - maybe she needed you then, and u were not there and for that reason she is hurt.
its obvious that she realy likes you, i feel u should talk 2 her abt what happened. She does like you
All the best
2006-09-27 07:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by Franky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't know her private life, so you may not know what she's suffering of to make her act so indifferent. Maybe she is bipolar, or is on meds. Who knows but her; so if you really want a break from her, just tell her kindly that you really like her, and that you're not trying to separate yourself from her, but you need some time by yourself until you feel comfortable. She'll take it nicely because it doesn't sound like you want a break from HER.
2006-09-27 07:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I started dating my ex last November. I'm so sorry for you.
Maybe you guys were not meant to be. It does hurt to receive the just-be-friends speech when you develop feelings, especially when you know someone so well.
It's ALWAYS best to be platonic first, but sometimes things are not meant to go beyond that level. But at least you get to be friends with her, unless like my ex, who totally wants nothing to do with me. I wish my ex asked me for space, and then we can work things out, instead of totally throwing away our relationship.
But for her to get mad at you for asking for space, she should not be. She was the one who pursued you, and then wanted to go back to just being friends. After that scenario, who would NOT need space.
Tell her you both need your space to properly analyze things. Give yourselves at least a couple weeks of no contacting each other. It took me that long to realize, I'm better off without my ex.
Sorry if I'm confusing you here, but best of luck to you.
2006-09-27 07:56:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like maybe she needs to grow up a little.
First she wasn't brave enough to ask you out herself.
Second, she's either playing mind games with you, or she doesn't have the capacity to express her emotions clearly.
Yeah, if you're beyond playing games, move on.
2006-09-27 07:47:39 · answer #5 · answered by MornGloryHM 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this lady knows what she really wants, so you are getting mixed signals. I think you have to approach her and tell her exactly how you feel, about her as well as her behaviour, tell her that this whole thing doesn't' work for you . It is almost impossible to work with someone who doesn't know what they want,as you will never know where they are coming from
2006-09-27 07:40:35 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women are always hard to read. We don't even understand ourselves sometimes. But it sounds like she wants you, but at the same time, she might be afraid of something. She wants you to beg her, and to love her. But I agree with you, if she is telling you one thing and you do it she gets mad. But just tell her your not playing games, she's either with you or not. Take charge and she'll appreciate it more.
2006-09-27 07:39:54 · answer #7 · answered by Susa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a woman. Just get used to it. It may be just her way of telling you that she wants you to be closer. Be her friend. But, let her know that is all that you want right now.
2006-09-27 07:38:09 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This (Ex-Friend; that's what she is), is using you for her emotional security blanket.
Head for the hills!!!
Back off from her and find yourself a new romantic interest.
If you don't have anything to do with her at all, the better.
Good Luck!
2006-09-27 07:40:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds very confused or is like that normally so I would advise that you leave her alone she does not sound like the best choice for a girlfriend
2006-09-27 07:40:49 · answer #10 · answered by confused7873 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋