Im getting married and Im moving out to a military base in Germany. I was just talking to one of my sisters friedns and he really got me thinking. He said not to go and to let him have his fun and I should have my fun. The thing that got me the most was that he said Army marriages (or any military branch) do not last and if they do its rare. Is this true?
2006-09-27 06:47:58 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I think the percentage is about 65% last, and they last for a whole lifetime. Of the ones that don't last, half end during the military career and the other half end shortly after retirement of the military member as the spouse can't stand having the person at home that much.
Common interests and activities is the key to lasting, along with love.
2006-09-27 06:53:15 · answer #1 · answered by Clamdigger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not your marriage works doesn't depend on someone's job. It depends on the level of commitment you both have. It does take a lot to maintain a marriage in the military because of the separations etc. If you're having second thoughts then say so now. Don't be one of those wives that waits til their husband is deployed and then just can't handle it. Just remember that no marriage is easy and that if you really want to be with this guy then you should and stop listening to all the naysayers out there. Good luck!
2006-09-27 14:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a military wife and my husband was sent to Iraq a few months after we were married. I spent most of my first year of marriage away from my husband. I think that most military marriages work just fine as long as you are both willing to be faithful and know that military life has its ups and downs. It takes time just like any marriage but being military marriage it takes even more time and love to make it work. I wish you the best of luck. Also I have been married for almost 2 years and my marriage is strong as ever.
2006-09-27 13:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by squeky_200416 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The military marriages that don't last long are the ones where the people have only known eachother for 6 months and get married so they can live off base. This happens a lot. I am married, active AF in Germany.
2006-09-27 13:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as an 'Army marriage'. No one marries the Army, they marry someone they love who has a job in the military. Your attitude concerns me. Are you asking if this person who said 'let him have his fun' has a point? If so, of course not. Why should he 'have his fun' simply because he is a Soldier? To extrapolate, would that be okay for married people where one is in The Police Force, or works in a shop? Why would you WANT to have 'fun' with anyone other than him? If you love him, you decide to accompany him or not to accompany him, that will be your choice and it IS your choice. It sounds to me as though you are balking at the idea of marrying him. Yes, people in marriages where one is in the services do have a high divorce rate but that is because of thinking like yours. Many of us sustain loving and devoted marriages through whatever the Army throws at us. You can look at a posting to Germany in several ways. You can throw yourself into it, learn German, travel around Europe, you can stay on base and die of boredom, or you can let him go unaccompanied but then you are consigning him to a very long period of loneliness. I think you should postpone the wedding until you have thought this through. If you commit to him, you commit to his lifestyle and that involves long separations and overseas postings. You don't sound ready to me.
2006-09-28 15:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by Kitty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this man then marry him... It's just like getting married to some one not military... Although you must know that being a military spouse is the Hardest job in the military... My husband is Air Force and it is very hard to deal with him being deployed every year to Iraq and other various places.... The reason most say it's harder for military relationships to last is because of deployment... It is hard to be with someone who is gone alot.... But if you truly love him Marry him sweetheart, Don't wait until he's shipped somewhere else Love conquers everything... You will get to travel... And there are support groups for spouses... You'll be fine... Good Luck...
2006-09-27 13:53:54 · answer #6 · answered by secret agent lady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think what happens a lot is that people get married without even thinking about what they are getting in to.
-So first you need to make sure you are getting married for the right reasons, and the first answer can't be "love". Love can blind you, but I must admit, I don't always love love my husband, but I love his companionship, and fall in love again.
-Also, there'll be points when he's in the military that you'll feel second to the Army. So to counteract this, life can't be all about the military and your husband, you should have have interests of your own.
-Another thing is trust, if he gets deployed or TDY, there'll be points when you question his fidelity. But if you offset this stress on him, then it'll make it more likely for him to cheat.
-Just support each other, and be each others friends.
Hubby and I have four years and are going strong. But at the same time we waited 3 years to get married, and the only reason we took the next step was to get me benefits for the Army when he got commissioned. While others freaked out about details in our wedding (my Dadzilla), I just repeated to myself "This is just about the commitment I'm making, not about the dress I'm wearing or how much this costs."
Good luck. I've made this too long. =)
2006-09-30 02:24:33 · answer #7 · answered by krivera_fierro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In some sense its true. That's not the point. A persons job doesn't determine the success of the Marriage. if you want to marry him....do it. And don't decided not to marry him because some guy told you not to. If you listen to him, then you probably shouldn't get married anyway because your heart must not have been in the right place.
Marry him if you love him and plan to spend the rest of your life with him.
Military marriages tend not to work out because the Solider or Sailor is gone on such long deployments. The Solider/Sailor either cheats or the spouse does. It is common. But if you are true to your man and he is true to you and you make a solid oath to love, honor, and obey each other--through sickness, health, and deployment, then you will be just fine.
2006-09-27 16:22:51 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask the friend where he got his info. The divorce rate isn't that much higher in the military than in the civilian population. In addition, I wonder what the friend's motive is for trying to encourage you to stay. Further, this may be the only chance you ever get to live in a foreign country, which is a very mind-broadening experience, no matter which country it is. And finally, last but certainly not least, if you love him, marry him and go with him because he will definitely cheat if you don't
2006-09-29 18:11:18 · answer #9 · answered by Alexandra G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i am a military wife married for over 4 years its hard. you cant listen to others opnions because every situation is different. follow your heart. many military marriages fail because one spouse or the other can handle all of the deployments. they are tough. i have been doing them every few weeks for almost 2 years. and about to be seperated for 7 months because hes going out to sea. im a navy wife. my advice is that the both of you go get some military counseling. they have programs to help prepare you for life as a spouse. its not easy. if he wants to marry you then hes ready for this but are you.more marriages in the military last then dont it depends on the people in each marriage its no different for civilian marrriages. get some marriage counseling and military life counseling before you get married. this way you know whats involved be fore you becaome his wife it may be more than you can handle ask your fianee he should know where to go to get prepared for military life. just keep in mind you will be alone alot
2006-09-27 14:04:18 · answer #10 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋