For Thanksgiving or Christmas! See there's a few things that bother me. First and most important my 6 year old daughter HATES her and gets very upset when around her, so she can't just relax and have a good time because she's scared of her Nana. Then there's the fact that my mom owns a restaurant and that's all she thinks about. Last Christmas we loaded up all our presents, my 2 girls, I was pregnant, and we had to rent a suv cuz our cars were not big enough, and we drove 16 hours from CA to CO just to have 1 full day with her because she had soooo much to do at the restraunt and it couldn't wait. We spent the rest of the time alone at her house ( 3 days) OH yeah and then insted of her preparing a traditional dinner, she freaking brought home the daily special from work for us. No cooking with mom, no cookies to frost for the kids and no cookies for SANTA! So I've decided not to go back for the holidays. My sister had a simalar experance and she's bringing her family here! What to do?
2006-09-27 05:55:31 · 10 answers · asked by skhoury28nails 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Cordially invite your mother to spend the holidays with YOU this year. Tell her that you know how much stress she is under with the restaurant and that she needs to take a couple days off for the holidays and come stay with you for a traditional family holiday. This way, you are still playing the ruse that you are putting her first (thus not causing problems) and she is the one who will have to be "breaking the news".
If she still insists on questioning you about coming to visit, tell her the truth (except for that bit about your daughter being afraid of her). Tell her that with three kids that travel of that magnitude just isn't in the budget this year. Be honest and upbeat. Make her see that it makes so much more sense for one person (her) to make the drive than for your whole family to undertake the difficult endeavor.
2006-09-27 07:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by A.R. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love her unconditionally and invite her instead to visit you. If she cannot make it and you do want to visit her make other plans for things to do while you are there and when she is busy you will not be bored and everyone will have had a nice visit. If Mom is at a restaurant all day perhaps you could cook for her when she gets in it would be a relaxing environment instead of tense. Perhaps even try to plan with her so that she arranges time off to spend with you. As a working mother and a daughter whom lives far from home I understand both ends of this.
2006-09-27 06:00:34 · answer #2 · answered by CUBA R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her it's her turn, you visited last year. Now she can make the drive. That should shut her up. And if she shows, run the Christmas the way you want. Buy the kids super soaker water guns and drum sets. Mom will have a migraine in 10 minutes and you'll never have to worry about her visiting again.
2006-09-27 06:21:21 · answer #3 · answered by Superstar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell your mother that you would appreciate it if maybe she came to see you for the holidays.....tell her the truth. Maybe except for your little girl not liking her...but everything else. Tell her she would have a great time with the family and she could relax for a couple of days and not worry about her restraunt. She may be upset that your planning not to go to her house for the holidays but she should appreciate the invite to your house.
2006-09-27 06:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by Amber R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her you are having the holidays at your place. If she has enough time she will come there, and maybe only stay for a short while. At least then she will be away from her restaurant. Then maybe your daughter won't stress as well being in her own home.
2006-09-27 05:58:58 · answer #5 · answered by darcilynn83 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go home either. The point of thanksgiving is to get together with family so together you can be thankful of the things you have...including eachother. Sounds like she is more thankful for her restaurant than her family. I would just tell her how you feel. Tell her she needs to come visit YOU this year!
2006-09-27 06:09:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh that's an easy one. JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH. "Mom, we traveled so far to see you last year and all you could think about is your restaurant," so we aren't coming this year. She will either feel bad or tell you......"It is the busiest, most important time for the success of my restaurant, so go screw yourself."
2006-09-27 06:02:47 · answer #7 · answered by Joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her your having Christmas at your house this year.
2006-09-27 05:58:06 · answer #8 · answered by Rachel Bitchface 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a toughie! Do try and make up with your mom, but if you can't put your daughters interests first.
2006-09-27 06:00:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her you are busy and cant make it this year,, tough crapola
2006-09-27 05:57:23 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋