My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and four months...he just admitted that he cheated on me with three different women during the first few months of our relationship...one of the girls was his previous ex, another was a coworker...and the last one was a close friend. I guess what makes this worse for me is that I sensed that he was doing that when he was actually doing it and I questioned it but he always told me no and that it was my insecurities. He really made me believe that the "close friend" was strictly platonic and even took me to her birthday party. Then on top of all that, he waits for over a year to tell me. So I guess my questions are is it possible to trust someone after that and should I stay with him? How much credit does he get for finally being honest. When he did admit all this to me...he said he had to take the risk of me leaving because he couldn't keep it to himself any longer b/c he wants to have an open honest and trustworthy relationship....help me.
2006-09-27 05:50:44 · 15 answers · asked by Paige 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't try to make sense out of nonsense. It is obvious history has repeated itself here. You boyfriend is a cheater and will always be a cheater. For him, other women is like a drug. Sure he may be faithful to you for 6 months, a year, maybe even longer. But eventually that urge, that itch will resurface. Before you know it he'll be cheating again to get his fix. He'll do it because he has never faced any serious consequences for his past actions.
You must realize that you can handle what your partner does, but you cannot predict your partner's actions. Knowing that, tell yourself you've gotten through your partner's actions before, and you'll get through them again. If you play the "What if?" game, know your answer. The answer is, bet on yourself, don't bet on your partner. you know you.
2006-09-27 06:07:39 · answer #1 · answered by coolbeanfive 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the early stages of a relationship, many people like to keep their options open and "play the field", whether that's right or wrong. That's a sign that they are not sure whether the person they are with is 'The One".
The most important thing is that he has now realised how much he loves and wants to be with you, and has come out and confessed his earlier indiscretions because he wants to make sure there are no secrets between you. i think it is a good sign that he has told you, rather than just waiting and stringing you along.
Give him a chance. Don't let him think he has got away with it (or he will think he can do it again) but make it clear that it is in the past and you are both going to have to move on and move forward.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 05:56:50 · answer #2 · answered by SeveralTimesWrong 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not the fool...HE is the fool. Any guy who does not know how lucky he is to have a relationship and cheats on his girlfriend is an idiot. DUMP this jerk. Go find someone who respects you and who feels like the luckiest guy on the planet for having met you. You deserve that. You don't deserve this cheating, lying, buffoon you're dealing with now. Good Luck.
2006-09-27 05:56:56 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Grudge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him.
Three girls is not an oops. Its compulsive selfish horniness. Plus he could have contracted something bad and handed it over to you. This is not the behavior of anything I would consider trustworthy. Although his confession (after lying!) seems like he's changed his ways, its really just a thinly veiled attempt to appear legit. He's still excess baggage. Toss him overboard.
2006-09-27 05:56:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not being a fool but there is no hope.If he cheat on you with three different woman whom he told you about there could be more that you don't know about.You would never trust him again,don't Mather how many times he apologize to you it would not meean anything to him.Have you ever thought that he apologize to you b/c he did not want you to find out and dump him.
2006-09-27 06:15:39 · answer #5 · answered by leah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, dump him. I mean if he's not able to have a meaningful relationship, then what's he worth?
I tell you what, go and do the same to him to see how he reacts to the taste of his own medicine. If he sounds angry and stuff, show him the door. If he's OK then maybe you should start over your relationship and find where it has a problem.
2006-09-27 06:01:20 · answer #6 · answered by dissectional80 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
you are not the only one who has this problem
I think you should tell him that you need some time to think over
and don't respond to him for some time. if he is really into you he will come back pleading sorry and want you back in his life and if he don't than he wasn't ment for you and you deserve better than him
2006-09-27 05:58:26 · answer #7 · answered by akrsjs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice he finally told you the truth, but the real question is:
Can you trust him with this relationship? You know what to do with the answer you arrive at.
2006-09-27 05:55:25 · answer #8 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was trying to brag that he had a few women while he was with you. This should be a preview of what to expect in the future. Kick him to the curb.
2006-09-27 05:54:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See, when I told the truth, I got dumped, and I only cheated with one girl. SO, call it evil of me, but I'd rather see him get dumped too. And when you do, give me a call *wink* woowoo!
2006-09-27 05:55:28 · answer #10 · answered by canadamoose22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋