I am a homeschooled kid that's why I'm on the net. I'm done already. Male
Ok,
I am 13 and of course puberty and girls are starting to happen. I want to talk to my dad, but that relashionship doesn't seem to be there with him and me. Me and my mom are fine, but I'm a guy so I wanna talk to my dad. (Our family is all together so don't think because it's hard to talk to my dad there was a divorce. Are family is all together. No divorces.) But how do I make that relashionship grow. I wanna tell him I like that girl at my church. Or the talk and all of that. (I am homeschooled remember so that cause problems with girls. I only see them at church. And there aren't many around my age I like) But how do I make that grow. That relashionship is there with him and my two younger brothers but not with me. HELP!!!
2006-09-27 05:41:20 · 28 answers · asked by Alberto Inestine 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As an adult male and father of 3 now, the secret to male bonding is doing things together, anything and everything. We as men dont set out to "have a serious talk," they just happen and, they happen when we are doing things together, or even just hanging out.
And it doesn't matter what your doing or even what your talking about. It could be on a fishing trip, or watching the game on TV. It could happen while doing carpentry in the shop, or fixing the family car. The thing to do is make yourself available to him for even the littlest things, ask to go with him to Lowes or Home depot when he has to go get something for mom's latest project. While your there ask him about different tools or things there. The point is without telling him directly let him him know you are interested in him and working with him. The relationship will grow and as you really get to know each other you will be able to open up to each other.
I think maybe over your life time he has felt that maybe you were your moms child and he was kept at a distance.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 05:54:41 · answer #1 · answered by spcresha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tryed to talk with your dad? let him know how you feel?
if not then maybe you should give it a try and hey, I am a mother of three and just because I am a mom doesn't mean I wouldn't understand a boy and puberty!!!! so you may think about asking your mom, you see you are lucking to have both parents I am a single mother with 15 1/2 yr,14yr,12yr olds so let me tell you I am the mom and the dad and I want you to know that you need to talk with your family and that family is very important and the day will come for girls don't rush it and enjoy your youth while you can!!!!! GOOD LUCK JENN :)
2006-09-27 12:51:10 · answer #2 · answered by JENN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can talk to your Mom, ask her if she can break the ice with your Dad for you by talking to him for you first - saying his son needs his input... You're only 13 and the eldest so he might not realize yet that you're ready for that kind of chatting . Alternately, maybe you have an uncle you could talk to?
Make friends with the girl at your church, just as you would make friend with any guy (okay, minus wrestling or anything rough!). Maybe you would be allowed to go bowling or something? Are her parents and yours friends? Maybe your Mom could invite their family over ;)
My baby brother met his wife 9 years ago when he was 14 at a church youth group... she use to "pick on him" and he got fed up one day and asked her why? She said if she didn't like him, she wouldn't be picking on him! They've been together ever since!
2006-09-27 12:47:42 · answer #3 · answered by mama_bears_den 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all---I think it's great that you are homeschooled! You seem to be very smart and have a good head on your shoulders for a 13 year old. I agree with the others though. You should just ask him about it...don't be shy. If he has a good relationship with your two younger brothers, then why not with you? Just say something like, "man to man, Dad...I want to talk to you about something..." and go from there. I am sure you're Dad will be happy to talk with you. Good luck!
2006-09-27 12:49:31 · answer #4 · answered by ANGEL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you sound like a very intelligent, thoughtful kid - so congratulations.
I think maybe one reason the relationship might not be there with your Dad is that you are so together that he perceives that you don't need him for anything. So, I'd just get your Dad alone and say Dad, I need your help with something - and then talk to him - could be the start of something special.
Another approach would be to find another trusted male model in you life.
But most importantly - the girl - just go up and talk her about her school, talk about things she's interested in/enjoys.
-Good Luck!
2006-09-27 12:49:03 · answer #5 · answered by RT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are more comfortable with your mom, tell her that you have some questions that you'd feel better talking to your dad about, but you are worried that he's kind of hard to talk to him. She can talk to him about it, to help him open the subject with you and make it easier.
Don't just assume that he has a closer relationship with your younger brothers. When kids get to be your age, it gets a little awkward for parents too. You're changing and growing up- sometimes it takes a little more thought on how to be a parent to you at the stage you're in now- with terms on what you're ready for or not.
If you still don't feel comfortable with your dad after you have tried, try talking to your youth pastor or another trusted male at your church.
Good luck, and hang in there!
2006-09-27 12:46:49 · answer #6 · answered by Simply_Renee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents get busy with a lot of things, and sometimes when the child rebuffs the parent a lot, the parent gives the child his space. Go to your Dad. Tell him, "look, I know we're not close, but I've really gotta have a male opinion on this and I would rather it be yours." You might be suprised by what happens next. He'll probably be too shocked to move or respond. Good luck, man.
2006-09-27 12:45:34 · answer #7 · answered by Mommymonster 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
noone knows your father like your mom so i would go to her and ask how she thinks would be best for you to open the doors of communication with your dad. It may be embarrassing for you to go to your mom but she could probably help you more with situations of the heart. Women are just better at that sort of thing than men are. With the "talk", see what your mom says about how you should approach your dad and go from there. Or maybe if there is an uncle or older cousin that you feel more comfortable with you could try asking them.
Good Luck to you and God Bless!!!!
2006-09-27 12:46:24 · answer #8 · answered by polarbaby 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound strange to you, but talk to your mom. Tell her that you need advice on your relationship with your father. Your mom knows him better than anybody else and she maybe able to help build a couple of bridges to get the relationship where you want it to be. My 14 year old son had the same problem with his father about a year ago and I had to intervene and help them to understand each other. Things are great between them now, they are closer than ever. Your father may not realize that you feel this way, I think fathers tend to give teenage boys "their space" and get involved when there is a problem. I am guessing he will be trilled to find out that you value his opinion and want his advice.
2006-09-27 12:54:03 · answer #9 · answered by eeyoreshunni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a Christian parent of 6 and an oldest child myself, I can tell you that as the oldest child we have a bit more to deal with when it comes to puberty. First of all, due to our nature we are most like our parents and sometimes that can cause distance between us. Rather than fight that distance, my suggestion is to find every possible opening you can to share your thoughts with your father. Even if it means telling him you would like to go out with him alone for ice cream or something else like stopping by the local store to pick up something. Give yourself time and pray earnestly that you will find the right things to say. As far as girl issues are concerned, it is fair to tell you that at age 13 you are pretty young and you might get some reaction from your father because of this. If there is reaction your best bet would be to remain friends with her and continue to do everything possible in group situations with her (your youth group functions, church outings) until that time you prove your maturity with your parents. Keep in mind that she might have restrictions with dating as well with her parents so be patient my friend, your time will come. Prayer changes things and praying for your parents is not a waste of time. Best wishes =)
2006-09-27 12:49:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋