My first cousin ( who is a total ***** to me) is getting married in November....she sent an invitation to my parents with my name included, but when asked she told me my boyfriend was not invited! Her excuse was a strict head count....Now my family is pressuring me into going to her wedding against my will. On top of everything her best friend AND her boyfriend of 2 months are invited Am i wrong for not wanting to go?
2006-09-27 05:40:33 · 15 answers · asked by melissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Are you over 18? Have you and your boyfriend been together over 6 months?
If both of those answers are yes, then yes, she should have invited bf and you together as a couple, on your own invitation (not connected to parents).
If both answers are not yes, I would not have invited him either.
I know you're ticked, but you can't twist the bride's arm. Either decline or attend, as you wish. Be sure to RSVP your decision properly.
2006-09-27 13:13:52 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to lighten up. She's not your pal or your bud. She has the right to determine who can and cannot come. Her friends are more important to her than you are. It stinks but that's how the cookie crumbles. You are not married and so haven't hit those crises yet. In the strictest of terms, it was impolite for you to even ask if your boyfriend could come because a guest was not included on the invitation. You put her in the hot seat and she had to come back with the embarassing but truthful answer that you goaded out of her. It's hardly an excuse to have to stick to that head count. It's called a budget.
If you choose to go to the wedding and reception, fine. Quit whining and go. If you don't, well, you've just saved her the $20 per plate dinner that she would have bought you.
2006-09-27 06:23:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, if the two of you don't get along, then you're not wrong for not wanting to go.
That is a completely separate issue, however, from who has been invited and who has not. It is not your business who she invites to her own wedding. And trust me, if she's saying she has a limit on her headcount, it's because she can't afford for anyone else to go...food & drink are the biggest expense at any wedding.
It sounds as if you're under 18...normally anyone who is an adult would get their own invitation, even if they're living at home. Those who are included in the invitation with their parents generally are minors. This indicates to me that you shouldn't need a date, so inviting you without a guest isn't a snub, it's standard etiquette.
Feel free to not go, in particular considering that you don't get along. Just don't let who's invited be the reasoning behind your decision.
2006-09-27 06:09:11 · answer #3 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I think you are wrong. A lot of couples can't invite many dates because it would cost way too much. It is okay for her to invite her best friend's boyfriend...she probably knows him, but the guy you're seeing is nothing to her expect another mouth to feed.
I think it's sad that you don't want to attend her wedding just because you can't bring a date. I assume you have the social skills to be able to make it through one evening without clinging to your man, so I don't see why it should be such a big deal to leave him behind. It's your family, it's not like you're not going to know anyone there.
2006-09-27 06:30:02 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No.
Of course your feelings are not invalid, if you are feeling them then they matter.
HOWEVER, being the better and non*****y person that you are I think going, and having a wonderful time, is the best revenge.
Another way to look at it is this, there are loads of things you will have to do in life just because you are family, or because it is expected of you, these things are not bad they are character builders and in the end it is one day. Plus you will get brownie points with the parents if you don't complain and go with a smile!
Good luck
2006-09-27 05:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by Queen Fromage 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you bother going to celebrate the marriage of someone you can't stand?
Her head count is her business, and she is probably friends with her best friend's boyfriend, so I wouldn't base my decision about attending on that.
If you don't see yourself enjoying the day, dont go. You are not obligated to attend everything you get an invite to.
Thats why its called an invitation, not a subpoena.
2006-09-27 05:46:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It sounds as though you aren't close to your cousin so stay home and save her a space for her strict head count. Say sorry but you can't make it and send a present with your parents. Or you could be the bigger person and go, but only for a short time.
2006-09-27 05:46:00 · answer #7 · answered by rose t 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is your choice if you go. If you do not like her and do not get along, then stay home. Sounds likeshe invited you as an after thought. Since you did not get the invitation to your house, then she really does not want you there. Go out with your boyfriend that night and have fun.
2006-09-27 05:44:40 · answer #8 · answered by dr's mom 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
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2016-11-24 22:32:53 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are wrong...It is up to her who she wants at her wedding...just because your boyfrined wasn't invited and other peoples boyfriends were, does not mean you should pout about it! Go to her wedding and celebrate with her! If this guy was your husband, this would be a different story...
2006-09-27 05:44:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋