I am now 26 years old, married, a mother of an 8 year old and a 5month old, educated, and choosing to be a stay at home mom for a while. At 17, I got pregnant, had a baby girl, still finished school and college, bought a house at 19, and married last year. People still act like I am a pregnant teenager, my oldest has friends who's parents make rude comment and won't let there child come to our house. I don't see the problem. Will this go away? What can I say or do?
2006-09-27 05:25:46 · 23 answers · asked by katbeek 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I am a college educated women with two children who choose to be a stay at home mom as well. Both of my children were planned. I had my first while I was still in college, my second right after I graduated. My now husband and I were not married when we had our children but we had been together for six years.
Many people express to me that I am "wasting" my education. Other people act as though I am some "welfare mom" who is just lazy and doesn't want to work and that I am setting a bad example for my daughter.
As far as I am concerned. My bills are paid (true with one income we are on a tight budget), my children are clean, fed, happy, and loved.
Moral of the story........SCREW THEM......do not let anyone make you second guess yourself or your ability to parent well. Your children will pick up on that.
HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH AND WALK WITH PRIDE!!!!!
2006-09-27 09:03:24 · answer #1 · answered by mommy of two! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too, like so many others on here, am going through the same thing. I am 24, almost 25 and I have a 4 1/2 year old and a 1 year old. My husband and I got married when I was 19 and found out a couple weeks later that I was pregnant. But our problem is slightly different. My problems weren't with friends having 'bad opinions' about me, it was my family. My friends were all "thats GREAT!" and things like that. My family on the other hand wasn't quite so nice about it. My dad's first words were "you know, your mother and I aren't happy about this", my at the time soon to be aunt, whom I had the highest respect for, smacked me upside the head and told me I was stupid. After a few months of getting used to the idea, my parents started opening up a bit (my dad was getting all happy telling everyone he's gonna be a "papa" as he calls himself now.
A funny thing did happen though. The other day, a teenage girl rang my doorbell and was selling things for something. I amswered the door and she asked if my parents were home. It didn't help that I was carrying my 1 yr old at the time either. made me laugh. I couldn't stop laughing about that.
I guess, in answer to your question though, people can be ignorant and immature. If they can't accept that you have kids and you are a young parent, then honestly, screw 'em.
Good luck to you though, and I hope it gets better for you.
2006-09-27 06:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by Genny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is, people can be ignorant and just plain stupid. I am 25 with a 19month old daughter. Although I didnt have her as a teen, I look extremely young, at least 17 or 18 and I get dirty looks all the time. I work my a** off, im educated finished school and college. But I find it's mostly the older folks that generalize and look at you that way. It gets on my nerves too, like they think they know you or that youre not smart, or don't know how to take care of yourself, let alone a kid.
Sometimes you just really have to put people in there place when they cross the line.
Good Luck! and to h*ll with them.
2006-09-27 06:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Rabbit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow this must be hard. I am 23 and having my 3rd baby but was married before I was pregnant so I never went threw this. I can see the other parents thoughts but i dont understand them because you are grown now and ,married. Some people are just rude. I dono when it will go away but hopefully you can get past the other parents rude reactions its not like your taking the kids to a bar or anything.
Good Luck
2006-09-27 05:34:23 · answer #4 · answered by heathersasmom 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am 21 with a 2 year old and an 8 month old, I am still looked down on as a "young mom" like it's such a bad thing. I take care of myself and my girls on my own! I just don't get it either. I'm going to keep reading your post to see what other ideas people have because it's driving me insane also. I am in school, working, and taking care of my girls 100% on my own and people still act like what I'm doing is wrong. ARGH! I feel your pain.
2006-09-27 05:29:47 · answer #5 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
people are typically hard on young mothers. I had my first at 23 and still get treated like a child. just keep in mind that you did all of the things you would have done, as far as education and responsibility, even if you didn't have a child. i would suggest talking with the parents. don't let it get you down too much. i'm sure you're a great mother.
2006-09-27 05:29:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd say have your daughter tell everyone how his mom is fourteen years old. Either they'll think she means 40 or they'll feel a little old knowing their kid will never say they are 14. I'm sure the only reason you worry is your daughter. Volunteer at the school whenever you can and I'm sure the kids will see how nice you are compared to their rude parents. 8 year olds are quite smart you know; your daughter will always have friends.
2006-09-27 06:25:34 · answer #7 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, some people!! It sounds like you learned from your mistake, and took care of your responsibilities! Good for you! There are always people out there who believe what they believe, and you can't change their minds. Just don't explain the whole situation. As far as any one knows you could have been married and had a baby.
Anyway, you can't change everyone, no matter what you say. If you are a good mother, they should keep their mouths shut.
2006-09-27 05:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by tnmomof2as 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me?!?! People are stupid. Sounds to me like you've got your act together. I know parents that are older and total screw ups. I think it's insane that people judge you because of your age. Now if you were into drugs and other shady business I might think differently, but sounds to me like you're a perfectly normal American family. I'd let my daughter play at your house (I have an 8y/o, too). In my opinion, those other parents are jealous because you've mananged to overcome your adversities and become a strong, thriving young mother with a wonderful life. Congrats on your achievements, you should be proud of yourself!!
2006-09-27 06:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by farmersdaughter 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suspect it should have gone away most people don't know your entire story or for that matter they don't care but you know and it is painful for you and child to be shunned when you show that you are a mature and responsible and respectable parent and adult. To be honest I really wouldn't care and try to explain it to your child that people are ignorant and try your best to not let your child be effected by their ignorance. Hopefully things will change for you all and people will see that you are a good parent and your child is just like the other children. i wish you all the best.
2006-09-27 05:43:42 · answer #10 · answered by mother5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋