help nanny 911 anyone help please?

Question

I have a three year old who is all boy, and wants wants wants!!!!
We give him what he wants and it's not good enough. For instance it's not the right juice or it's not the right glass or it's not the right movie. Or he changes his mind. In the mornings when Im trying to get ready for work Im a nervous wreck. I get up early so I can spend some time with him playing before getting ready. He then starts his demands I want this I want that I try to talk to him calmly and always end up getting frustrated. I discipline him sending him to his room, and he fights me on that. I spend most of my time fighting with him to get him and I ready. I have cut corners on myself with my appearance just so that I can be on at work on time. I work two jobs right now 7 days a week. My daytime job is to maintain my bills, and my night time job on the weekends is to launch my massage carreer. I have a thirteen year old who helps out greatly with the housework, and a husband who is physically exhausted.

Answer 1

Well we know who rules your house! Stop giving him what he wants! Give him a choice of two things. Blue cup ar red cup? He wants Yellow? Too bad here's your choices. He's gonna scream and yell and kick. Let him! Ignore it completely!!!!! He'll soon learn that that methods not working anymore. All that screaming, gonna make him thirsty. Bet he'll take the red cup! Same with juice and clothes and pj's and everything! Door number 1 or door number 2. There is no three, he can go to bed naked, it won't kill him. Try to get him to go to school naked if he can't choose. He'll die! Also there is a thing called 1-2-3 Magic. You can get the book or the video at your local library. Basically, he get's three chances. Three chances are up take 3 min.He's 3. example: "Bubby, do you want the red cup or the blue cup?"
Son: "I don't waaaaaant those!!! I want yelloooooowww!!!"
You: "red or blue?"
SOn: "yellow"
u: "1"
son; "what? yellllloooowwww!"
u: "2"
son: "fine red then!!!"
It works great! if he gets to 3 off he goes. n a very boring spot, in a hard backed chair, in the corner maybe. He doesn't talk to you, you don't talk to him. Let him scream. He's doing it now because he knows that it works. Don't let it work anymore, and away it goes. Keep it up! Don't give in! Good Luck!

Answer 2

ok well I had the same problem with my 5 year old when he was about 3. The problem is we love our kids to death and want them to have everything but it teaches them they get there way no matter if its right or not theres a book called "training up your kids" that really opened my eyes because it say...."your bratty 3 year old will be a bratty 18 year old" I was shocked I thought that my son whould just grow out of it.
First off it tells us to take ALL the toys except 10 let him pick out 10 things he likes.....put the rest away for a whole month, yeah I was shocked too......but then at the end of the month let him exchange the 10 for a new 10.
It will teach him to appriciate what he has. Then about the juice cup.....Dont let him have anything else.....Kids will not let themselves go hungry or thursty so after awhile he will take it no matter what because he needs a drink. You can use this method with food and other activitys, Its really hard at first but our 5 year old is so good now and even likes to help me clean and always says please for stuff, its a whole new person and we are so much happier and stress free (most of the time)

Answer 3

Discipline, discipline, discipline! Stop giving into his demands. Stand up and act like the mother and not the child. You will have to punish him in other ways that don't include him going to his room. Does he have toys in there or some form of enterainment in the room? Find an alternative form of 'punishment'. When he asks for something, make sure you stick with that and don't allow him to change his mind. Let him know that it's the juice in this cup or no juice at all.

Don't let him walk over you because it will continue and get worse. Be firm and stand your ground.

Answer 4

ditch him at the park !! jk

I say you need to spend more time with him, yes i understand you work 2 jobs but your role as mother comes first before anything else. Obviously seems that 13 yr old and husband plus 3 year old are getting the short end of the stick. Baby wants your attention, as I'm sure hubby and older son do to. You need to weigh your options, what is more important. I dont mean to be mean in any way. Just remember that kids dont understand most of the grown up things when they are 3.


peace.

Answer 5

no mater what it takes hunny you need to quit giving in. as long as you change the glass and juice he is going to act that way.....i went through this too. i just started saying fine then dont drink i dont care and walk off. if he throws and fit and crys let him. it sounds harsh but believe me if they are thirsty then he will use that cup and drink that juice. You need to learn to say FINE! After a while of mommy not giving in then your son will start and think uhhhhh I am not my mommy's boss. My son was with food and so I just said fine dont eat. Then he would get hungry and go to the table because he was hungry.

I learned this from the real nanny 911. If you let a child control you then it will NEVER stop. you have to put your foot down and not give in. It is bothersome to hear them cry because you are their mom but if you don't stop it now it dosen't get any better.

Then after they eat the food or finally take the glass....talk to your son about the way he acted and the way things will be now. Help him to understand the way he acted and why you acted the way you did and that you are the mommy not him.

Answer 6

Your child needs discipline & routine. You are the parent, not him.
If there will be any choices given, you give the choices and if he doesn't want it, then he gets nothing at all.

Your husband should be helping you with your son, physically exhausted or not. Parenthood does not take a break.

Thirteen year old's should be doing chores, and 3 year olds should be doing things according to their abilities. Our 3 year old cleans her room, brushes the dog, puts her dishes in the sink, gives her self a shower with assistance needed only to turn the water on and off, she combs her hair, she brushes her teeth, etc.

I'm not saying to yell at your child, because yelling solves nothing. I am saying if your child challenges your authority about going to his room then he needs a spanking.

There's no reason you should be fighting your child...what you say and what dad says is what goes, point blank period.

Get him on a routine, and discipline him.

Blessings To You & Yours

Answer 7

Wow, ok, I know its hard, but you can not give in to every demand that your child makes. First, if he asks the wrong way, then do not give him what he wants. Correct him on his behavior and wait for him to ask correctly. If he starts acting out, then put him in a chair somewhere. Dont send him to his room, because he probably likes his room, even if he just has to sit there, he will still be comfortable. Only let him sit for about 5 minutes, then explain to him what he did wrong before letting him up. Each time he acts out, repeat. Remember, this is YOUR child, and he needs to act like it.

Answer 8

When he starts demanding things you just ignore him. i went through this with my now 4 yr old son. When he would demand something I would tell him no, not until you ask me the right way. If he wants a drink he has to say "Mommy will you please get me a drink?". If he doesn't ask the nice way then he doesn't get what he wants. If he screams and throws a fit just walk away. You have to be persistant no matter how he responds. You have to teach him manners now or he will never learn them. Make him understand that you are the boss not him.

Answer 9

Give him a very short leash. He'll start to settle down a bit.


Before he goes to bed say, tomorrow you will wear what has been laid out for you, you will drink orange juice in the teddy bear cup, and you will eat a waffle. Then we will brush your teeth, wash your face and we will leave for school, etc................


When he wakes up have the juice on the table with the waffle and if he refuses to eat or drink, just ignore him. Be REALLY REALLY strict. He will cry kick and scream for the first few days but it will get better. He will eat when he gets hungry enough.

Answer 10

"We give him what he wants"

There's your problem. You've spoiled him by giving into his demands. And you're going to have a heck of a time fixing it. I had this problem, when my son's grandmother would give him ANYTHING he wanted. I almost went insane. Set some rules, 3 is old enough to understand. Give him some small chores. You have to get him to understand he can't always get what he wants. Tell him he needs to deserve treats and such. Like if he picks up his toys, give him something special. He'll eventually get it. But don't go overboard with the rewards, or he'll expect them everytime. My son (now 6) is thrilled when I tell him thank you and tell him what a good job he did.