How can I stop cutting myself ?

Question

I started cutting again the other night. I have everything I want except one thing: Jake .. how can I get him and stop cutting?

Answer 1

Put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it when you want to cut. It hurts, so it provides a lot of the same release, but it doesn't damage your body like cutting does. That usually works for me.

Take whatever you'd normally use to cut yourself, and cut a piece of cardboard instead. The back of a notepad works well, or an old cardboard box. Or if you don't have any cardboard around, several sheets of paper should do.

Another thing that only works if you don't cut very deep is put a bandaid wherever you'd normally cut and then cut that instead of your skin. You have to be careful not to cut the skin under it, though. It sounds weird, but cutting it is kind of the same consistencey as cutting your skin, and you can kind of feel the motion of the knife through the bandaid but it doesn't do any damage. Plus ripping the bandaid off after hurts, so that's the rubber band thing again.

Some other things I've heard are squeeze an ice cube in your hand when you want to cut, or hold it against your skin wherever you normally cut. Same idea as the rubber band. I've never tried that one though - gets everything all wet.

Another thing is start keeping a diary, and write or draw what you're feeling when you want to cut. That one's never worked for me (I can never get myself to focus on it), but a lot of people find it helps.

Finally, in addition to whatever else you do, talk to a therapist. Ultimately, the things I listed are short-term fixes, but the best way to quit cutting is to figure out what's causing you to cut and fix it. Plus, a therapist might prescribe antidepressents or other pills depending what's going on for you that would make it easier to stop cutting by fixing what's making you unhappy or stressed in the first place.

Answer 2

I've been a cutter for four years now. I don't cut very often anymore. But I have accepted the fact that it will always be a part of me. I've been there where you don't want to tell anyone, afraid of what would happen. If you really want to stop on your own, you have to find the motivation. Find something to do instead of cut. I also used writing, I would write all night long just to keep my mind off of it. Also doing something physical lets out certain chemicals that help you deal with the pain. So like running or a sport. Anything to keep you away from a razor. I also found that finding one good friend that really cares helps when it comes to talking about it. One good friend who won't tell but also gives you the inspiration to not cut. You don't cut for them. Have them check your wrist or whatever every once and awhile so then you have motivation not to cut. The hardest part is telling someone...but sometimes it's for the best. After about 3 and a half years of cutting, I finally told my mom. I cried and cired, but when she told me that she'd been there too, it was the most comforting piece of news, and as I say I barley touch my skin with a razor anymore. It's hard, but sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same.

Answer 3

I don't know how you can get Jake, but maybe if you drive out to the middle of no-where in the middle of the night and shout and scream that would releave some tension. You are cutting because you won't let yourself feel the hurt in the "normal" way. Maybe just try to make yourself cry. Have a wee (like two shots) bit of brandy, chop an onion, watch a sad film, and feel the tears flow.

Longer term, I think cognitive therapy can convince you that cutting is not the best way out. Before you cut, think about the fact that it will take ages to heal, that people will see and think you are odd, that it doesn't actually solve anything. Congratulate yourself for not cutting. Give yourself a nice prize, like a danish pastry, or a session at a beauty salon.

Answer 4

Hi there, first thing is well done for sharing your experience with us. A lot of people would just hide it from everyone. Although I am not saying its a good thing either. You must stop self harming. I managed to stop years ago and have not done it since. It will be hard and creep into your mind to do it, but you have to be strong and do not give in. Cutting your self will not get you Jake ....would he want to see you hurt your self like that?? Have a chat with Jake and see what he would like, if he would like to be with you, if not then be brave and move on. I know it is extremely hard when you want someone but cant have them, it will get easier the more you become stronger. If people who love you saw what you do to your self think about how upset they will be that you feel that you need to hurt yourself. Do you do it to punish yourself,to get others attention, or something else? You need to ask yoursself why!!!! I did it to punish myself but I realised after a long time that i actually wasnt acheiving anything by doing it and everyone else was up set about me doing it too. Hope all works out for you x

Answer 5

Talk to your friends and the people that care about you. Sometimes it's good to go on the internet for advice, because more than anywhere else you're able to be anonymous, but sweetheart, it sounds like you need a hug and none of us can do that here.

Self harm is often tied up with control - you're hurting over Jake, you're emotions are going awol and you feel like you've lost control of yourself and what you can do, so you decide to take back some control by controlling physical pain.

You are stronger than you think - and if you don't want to do it anymore, then think about what you're doing before you do it again. There are other ways of dealing and more positive things you can do.

Take care honey, and look after yourself.

Lx

Answer 6

Think carefully about why you're doing this. If you think about it well enough, you should come up with something like the following.
1) You cut yourself because you want to.
2) You want to because it seems to you that this pain relieves
some other pain (in your case, thinking about Jake).
3) This pain is because you view your situation as disastrous.
4) You view your situation as disastrous because your
perceptions are warped. You don't need me to tell you that
there are people in the world whose lives are so much
worse.

The basis of depression is that there is something you want and you believe it a tragedy that you don't/can't have it.

Obviously there are two ways you can fix this: obtaining what you want, and changing your thinking about it. It is easier to do the second option, and doing so will help you to overcome similar problems in the future.

So, you can stop youself every time you think something about your situation being tragic or get someone to do that for you, see a GP or psychologist or other professional who can help you, or buy a self-help book. Either way, make sure you do something about it.

Answer 7

Getting out of the self harm cycle can be very difficult indeed and you will probably need a lot of love and support and professional help and advice.

One thing that councillors sometimes advise is using an elastic band. Put one loosely around your wrist or ankle and when you feel the need to self harm snap this against your skin. You will get the pain, but not the harmful effects from cutting.

Try and find yourself some help and support. And PLEASE don't listen to some of the people on here who have nothing better to do than make cruel comments. They are not even worth the time given to read them.

Answer 8

Jake or any other person is not worth the emotional pain you're going through. And those scars will be a turnoff for future guys. Get a grip and some help. We're pulling for you.

Answer 9

I am so sorry that you feel that this is something that you need to do. Please try to find a way to tell someone you trust, if you can go to your doctor then that would be great. Harming yourself is a really harsh way to treat yourself. If you want to be in a relationship with anyone else (like Jake) then you need to love yourself first, and if you love someone then you don't cut them. Take care of yourself.

Answer 10

First off, ignore the many ignorant responses above. You have a serious problem and need to get help. Have you spoken to a friend or a member of your family about this? Try talking to someone about your feelings. The advice they give will help you to get through this but it sounds like you really need to see a doctor. This is a very common problem and there are professional people who will help you. There are also groups out there where you can go to talk to other people who self-harm.

Good luck.