I need help with my moms cancer! 9-27-06?

Question

my mom just recently got diagnosed with breast cancer, and it has spread to hear lymohnodes. I am having a really difficult time dealing with this!
I am scared lost and confused! I just have so much to say but it feels like no one listens! I just need help dealing with this stress! I am becoming very unhealthy because i worry all day long! I just need a guiding hand to help me through this traumatic experience! Someone please help me!
thank you! And God bless!

Answer 1

If your mother will allow it, go with her to her doctor's visits. He can discuss her treatment and prognosis with you. Often breast cancer is treated with the removal of surrounding lymph nodes. It's not unusual, nor is it indicative of a poor prognosis. If your mother is comfortable with the doctor who's treating her, trust in what he says and avoid succumbing to the gloom and doom thought pattern that is often falsely associated with the concept of cancer. She doesn't need to see that from the people around her.

Answer 2

I can definitely understand where you are coming from,my mom was recently diagnosed w/leukemia. Please keep in mind, are you doing her any good if you're "becoming very unhealthy"? Unfortunately these are the situations we are forced to deal with in life. You being positive and being there for her would help her more than anything. I have an aunt who lost both breasts to cancer,but she's now doing amazing. She actually got implants and renewed her vows because she felt so good after such a hard experience. Be supportive,be optimistic, and if you're that worried, do your research, talk to people, but always be positive. It's so important to keep a bright look on things, especially when there's a serious health matter. Be there for her! Good luck, and God bless :)

Answer 3

Your mom is getting treatment and it is the very best to deal with her type of cancer. One person to answer all your questions is her doctor who can give you all the information that specifically relates to your mom. Go with her to her next appointment. In every treatment clinic I have been in, there is a counseling center for the family members to help them to deal with this illness. Knowing you are doing something to help your mom will also help you. I have been through this several times as a family member and as a friend. Some have won this battle and some have lost. The speed of diagnosis has much to do with recovery, but not all. There are many things you can do to help your mom get better. Go ask, get your answers and both of you learn again how to enjoy life. Say a little prayer each day,(it doesn't matter if you don't believe, He does), toss out the little problems, they can always be picked up later and remember laughter is a terrific healer, no kidding. Start doing all the things you both never got around to. God Bless and happy landings honey. P.S. You get regular mammograms please.

Answer 4

Hi,

I am so sorry to hear your news, I went through this with my mum although she had lung cancer that spread to her lymhnodes. I know the pain your are suffering. Cancer is a horrible nasty thing that ruins many peoples lifes. Depending on where you are there should be many support groups to help, but what I will say is what you are feeling is normal, nobody is made of stone.

There is no easy way to help you as this is a very difficult time but what I can say is that the statistics are better than before for survival and I am praying for you that your mum gets a full recovery soon.

Please keep your head up and remember that it is because you care so much for your mum that you are feeling this way.

Take care

Julia

Answer 5

Just because breast cancer has spread to the lymph nodes doesn't mean it's fatal. It is classified as Stage II. I was diagnosed in June of 2004 with Stage II Breast cancer. I had a 2 cm lump in my breast and they found 4 positive lymph nodes. After having a partial mastectomy followed by chemo and radiation I am a healthy happy 51 year old mom.

I am sure that your mom is getting excellent care and will work with her doctors to get the best treatment that is right for her.

Cancer is a very scary subject for many people. In my situation it helped me enourmously to keep a journal. I poured out my fears, anxieties and tears in it and now can look back and remember what an excellent tool it was for me to get feelings out without over burdening my husband and children. When I was in my last month of chemotherapy my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer (my next younger sister also had it 13 years ago). I cried that it wasn't fair that one family can be so inflicted with this disease (my aunt has also had it twice). I was able to give my brother and sister-in-law a lot of support and opportunity to share first hand experience about what to expect.

Please, if you want someone to listen to your fears and concerns, you can contact me. Also, you can check out Dr. Susan Love's web site. She is a national authority on breast health and you can find a lot of good information on her site as well as cancer.org and the Susan Komen web sites

Answer 6

My best friends mom (ive known for 13 years) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was stage 2. She went through radiation and chemo treatments. It was a long and difficult process. Her daughter was very upset through this time and is very natural to.
Her mother has been cancer free for 7 years now.
From what I understand when cancer reaches the lymthnodes it is very difficult to get rid of. I am not for sure so please dont panic.
I do hope things go well for your mother. It is best to be by her side through this. I know it will be very difficult road for the both of you but I wish you all the best. I will keep you all in my prayers.

Answer 7

My daughter was very upset also. She went to all of my doctor visits with me. Also went to chemo with me. It is a very emotional time. I got the "Breast Cancer for Idiots" book. (it was a gift) There is a bunch of helpful info in there. From visits to insurance. I think the more informed the less stress. Not knowing what to say sometimes caused a few problems. For me I wish my daughter would of took more time to read up and realize there are a lot of side effects. Chemo and the drugs you take after wards. Keeping a upbeat attitude will help. Also I whole heartily agree with support groups or private counseling. Best of luck to you. Here's to perfect radiant health.

Answer 8

My aunt had her breasts and lymphnodes removed over 15 years ago and has been cancer free ever since. My dad has a terminal cancer now so I understand your worry. I go to a cancer treatment center when I need to talk there are many support groups for the families of people with cancer check your local hospital of cancer center. God bless and try not to stress you need to be healthy for your mom. She needs you strong right now.

Answer 9

Just because your mom had positive lymph nodes doesn't mean she is going to die tomorrow. I had 13 positive nodes, stage III breast cancer and I'm still here! While I admit the road wasn't easy--biopsy, mastectomy, chemo, radiation, another biopsy, and finally reconstruction--with faith and the love and support of a family, it can be done. I'm LIVING proof that stage III breast cancer can be beaten. I'm not giving in and neither should you.

Answer 10

i'm sorry to hear that your mom has breast cancer. just think of all the women out there that have had it.....melissa etheridge..sheryl crow. they have all survived. i know someone who has had breast cancer three times...they are still in remission. just think positively with your mom. if you are scared about this just think how scared she is. maybe going through this with her will help you both. go to the doctor with her...they will give you both enough info to learn from. don't go without talking to someone about this issue. maybe sharing your concerns with your mom will help. just think..now your mom gets to be one of the select few that get to wear pink shirts in the race for the cure...breast cancer walk/marathon. the first year is hard to deal with, but after that it is a breeze. just put your faith in God's hands and he will do the rest.