Why do some people grow up to be shy and some others outgoing and can you change the way someone is?

Answer 1

A lot of this is genetics, although some shy children are able to grow up to be more outgoing as adults. I have four children who are all over the map on the shy-outgoing spectrum and I have to say their personalities were clear from the time they were infants.

I don't think you can change another person, but someone who is shy who wishes not to be shy can change themselves. I have seen my oldest daughter make remarkable progress from being a little girl who would not talk AT ALL in school when she was young. In college, she has developed a large circle of friends and become quite outgoing in most situations. She still has to struggle with the anxiety that was behind her early shyness, but she has learned better how to cope with this. The key is she decided to change herself. I was also a very shy child and I no longer consider myself shy as an adult and other people also do not see me as shy. Again, this was because I decided to change and take risks. So I think people can change if they want to change. Sometimes it might take some cognitive therapy, because the change really requires being willing to think differently about how you relate to the world.

Answer 2

Some people are high self-censorers - this is usually the shy one, they see themselves in relation to the situation, give thought and credence to how they are percieved and therefore speak less and appear shy or timid. (This breeds thinkers, scientific minds. People who will not ask the question somone else already asked, so thier question will be more profound when voiced)

Low self censorers tend to speak first and be concerned later. They think of thier needs or responses before percieving themselves in relation to those around them.These people are more leaders, organizers of the people. They are the "face" if you will, confronting the world on thier own terms.

Can you change them? Yes. But only situationally. By the time you are old enough to have a habitual demenor in social settings, it is too late to break your tendency- but necessity dicates adaptation so maybe despite the cold sweat, you will stand in front of a lecture hall and give a presentation- it is required to get what you need. But for the shy it will never be a natural choice.

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Answer 3

To change, which I did to an extent I listened to people I thought were funny or outgoing and repeated their comments to others. Obviously you have to be careful who you say things to. You don't want people thinking you are a copy cat.

In time you pick up the ability to think of things on your own. Another thing is to ask people questions about themselves. Ask about an experience. You become outgoing when you are interested in others. They do all the talking. Be genuine about your interest. ASk stuff like, Why did you pick that tatoo? What would be a perfect vacation to you?

Answer 4

Different people have different personalities. That's just who they are.
(I was extremely shy when I was younger, and I tried to make myself change by joining in different activities, but it didn't work - you can't just change someone like that. I seem to be growing out of it as I get older, though. )

Answer 5

It may be a self-image problem. Maybe they have a milder case of agoraphobia. My nephew is very shy, even around relatives he will sometimes hide in his room.

My brother and I always try to get him to play with the other kids. I find that after he is comfortable with the situation you see his true personality.

Answer 6

How you act socially is a combination of genetics and childhood surroundings. And you can't REALLY change people - no matter what Dr. Phil thinks or says.

Answer 7

combination of genetics and environment. you can change the way you are, but you can't change the way other people are - they have to want to change.

Answer 8

yes by explaing that person the advantages of moving oneself out
from that tag of shyness