What is so appealing about confidence? What is confidence?

Question

I consider myself confident in my abilities. I don't consider my abilities exeptional. I am often asked questions (in the job) and I give them an honest answer based on my abilities, ( this does not include the fact that I would get better with time).
I have been told that I have a lack of confidence. It seems to me they actually mean a lack of positivity. My answer did not meet their expectations and their expectation is higher than mine.

So I ask is confidence often confused witrh positivity? And is a negative answer or realistic answer mistaken for a lack of confidence.

Lots of interesting comments. I am wondering if some of you actually read my details, ( this does not include the fact that I would get better with time) indicates the fact that I will improve and do improve. My balls hang low enough but thanks.

Really I mean thanks, because THAT is exactly the attitude and reaction I am talking about. So unless I swing my d**k around, some people simply believe I am unconfident. Jarynth, Cabana, and Brian display the exact attitude I am questioning. That is being competetive in my opinion, not confident.

MD and Akfek's answer as well as Apost's (thanks for responding) were more thought provoking.

Tommorrows Woman and Big Strong were more on my page and you all seemed to understand my question the best.

However, I know that this idea is totally based on other's perceptions. This will be hard to vote a best question, I think I will leave it to vote. Thanks to all!

Brian I am not a bettin man. But I'll hire to wash my sack ; )

Answer 1

To me, confidence is needlessness. The only way an answer can be considered lacking confidence, would be if it didn't sound "certain". The other reason may have very well been that they didn't agree with you and chose the coward's way out and called your answer lacking confidence. They may in fact been confused, as you suggested.

Answer 2

If you are a natural person you should try cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the only thing that has helped me with my horrible health anxiety. Read here https://tr.im/23HX5

Your thinking determines your quality of life. Your thinking is what causes you these feelings:

Anxious, fearful, stressed or depressed
Constantly worried, or angry about something that is happening in your life
Struggling to overcome obsessive and negative thoughts.

If you change your thinking, you will change your life. This is the basic idea behind CBT for anxiety. The Cognitive part is where you learn nee methods and ways to change your same old habits and thinking patterns. If you keep thinking and expecting the worst – You will continue to suffer.

Answer 3

Maybe they expected a little more ambition in a future employee, at least a bleak intention to try to do better than what you think you can do, not the conviction that you reached the top of your capabilities, that you're exactly aware of them and don't foresee the possibility for getting better.

Answer 4

Seems that you are an underachiever. Step up and apply yourself more to tasks. Do it while the boss is looking, and they will notice your confidence to tackle the jobs.

Confidence is attractive. It is rooted in PRIDE! TOO much and your become egotistical, and too little and you lack desire.

But the right mix and your confident and noticed.

Answer 5

i think that a persons abilities and thier confidence with them is a completely personal perception....if you believe you can do a job then you tell them you can do it, but you always leave room for mistakes...because hey we are all human right? but just remember that there is always room for improvement...i myself tried to play pool once...i got the best person in the pool hall to play me and teach me some moves....but soon i got discouraged....i felt like to reach his level was impossible...he was just so good...so i quit....but now at a my new job we have a pool table in the break room...whn i get off i go in there and play for hours...here recently i just beat the "pool king"....by pure luck mostly...i think he was having an off night...but the point of all this is that with a personal determination...and practice...i have become confident in my skills...even though i know they are mediocre....they are mine...and i think that there is some respect to be gained in that....

Answer 6

I have found the phrase "I'll do my best" or something similar to that effect to be of great use.

You sound like me, that when someone who asks you if you can do something you can probably do, you actually tell them that you can probably do it, not that you can do it for sure.

Remember though, tone is the most important. It is entirley possible to sound totally confident while saying "There is no way we can win"

Answer 7

You are a 'realist'. Meaning, you do not deny your abilities, but you do not exaggerate them either. Most mistake delusion for confidence. Saying, "I can overtake Bill Gates in a year", leans more toward delusion than confidence.

I agree with you completely.

Answer 8

No - you lack confidence.

People with confidence make things happen.

You hedge your bet because you are unsure of the outcome.

Grow a sack and put some balls in it.

Answer 9

Perception. Any answer can be perceived as negative but the recipient is the judge of that. A person's beliefs and values mold their outlook on life and the perception on others. Like my friends say, 'You can't please everyone.' Just be yourself. If you feel confident in you and yours then so be it. Do You, playa.

Answer 10

over reactive