Why do men feel they can get out of parenting if the woman he screwed lied to him?

Question

Give me a break. It takes two to make a child. Either wrap it up, or don't have sex. You create a child, you support it and love it for the rest of your life. Don't go prancing around thinking you don't have to just because she lied to you. Get a medical report stating she's sterile. Don't take her word for it and don't come in here looking for ways to get out of your responsibilities for your actions.

I'm done ranting. You don't even have to answer this.

And no, this isn't about me. I do not lie to men about my body. This is about another question I answered yesterday.

You guys need to read my question. I never once said this was MY situation. This is totally in regards to the following question:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Av6qrQ.DE3LG48gDOP_P5dXsy6IX?qid=20060926100945AAYR23f

LOL! Dialup...I know for certain my organs all work perfectly fine. Once again, I will reiterate....this is NOT about me...lol. Geesus...I dunno why I even bother on here anymore...no one reads the damn questions and details!

Omar...I have something against the men who have consensual sex with women and don't bother to use any sort of birth control and try to blame it on the women if the women get pregnant. It's BS. It's not solely the woman's responsibility to use birth control...if it was, there wouldn't be male condoms. And you, just like everyone else who answered this question, did not read the details. I said this is in regards to a question I answered yesterday. READ THE WHOLE THING BEFORE YOU ANSWER!

Answer 1

That type of scenario is why I wish the FDA would hurry up and allow the male version of the Pill to be on the market. That way if she lied about being on the pill or sterile whatever at least I would know I'm 99% covered and 100% when using an additional cover ;-)

As for a child being born on lies the guy should step up and be a real man not act like an adolescent. If you are going play your going to pay.

Answer 2

In the Religion and Spirituality section when we all say sex outside of marriage is wrong, I'm amazed at home many girl (Icons, could be guys) put us down for morals and say sex is normal and healthy.

If sex is so normal and healthy, be like the rest of the animal kingdom and take your own PERSONAL responsiblity (80% of mamals are NOT magamous, all single parent families).

You can't have it both ways. If sex and promescity is going to be a way of life, if this is the explicit value system you have to accept the consequences.

When a guy says he wants to marry you, he's telling you he wants to stay.

When a guy's just having sex with you, but not marry you, he's telling you are more than likely a passing thing and you are fullfilling a need for him. He's trying you out see if he likes you. You're the easiest port he found for docking.

That was IMPLICITEDLY contracted when NO offer of STAYING was made prior to the sex.

You AGREED to provide SEX without commitment.

Now you want a committment after the fact.

Did you TELL him -- all you girls -- did you make it TOTALY clear NO form of Birth control is 100% effective and that YOU expect him to be 50% responsible for anything that happends during your join sex lives (or do you think you won't have a LOVE life after that speech, with ANY guy!).

Did you also tell him you are inclined to ABORTION or KEEPING the baby.

Did he accept these terms.

YOU accepted NO COMMITEMENT as terms for sex. You agreed to that by not setting the terms yourself. This is called statutory law, wonder if a guy could win a paternity suit with that kind of a defese. Take a good lawyer, but it would then set legal precedent.

Gees, girls on the Pill should make guys pay 50% of the phramacy and doctor bills!

The religious view is the couple makes a committement in advance (yeah, sure, he can flake out at a later date, but divorce lawyers will skin him alive). The guy doesn't even get a peek.

He accepts your body, your skin, your way in bed, your desires for less or more BLINDLY.

He married YOU, not your organs.

That's what we call moral values. You marry the woman, the girl, her personality, her voice, her manners, her attidudes, her beliefs, her choice of TV stations, movies and music.

You didn't marry her T and A, because you never got to see them.

Remember. Girls get pregant, guys don't. You can be on the patch, the pill, the shot, the cup and have him baggie it and there is STILL a possibility in a 5 year period of time you will get preganant. It is not impossible. The only 100% method is abstanance.

Answer 3

They know they have to do the right thing but, they just don't want to. So it is easier to put the blame on the women than to admit they he is not a man and won't take responsibility. Men are lazy pieces of crap who only care about themselves, and any little way they can get out of responsibility (like acting like they were hurt because they were lied to) they will take and not care who they hurt. Look, at that I am ranting too I guess I still got some hostility left!

Answer 4

Well I'm going to answer your question anyway! You're pissed and you have a right to be! I agree with you 100%! Men use it as an excuse! That's because they were no damn good from the beginning! It was all an act! Just know now the signs to look for in the future. Check out how a man treats his family. Listen to his conversations! It's not hard to spot the male species who are not worth a damn! I'm not bashing all men, but some of them are truly helpless! They might as well be dragged out into the woods, tied to a tree and beat with a switch and left there for whatever smells their blood. Ooooh that sounded kind of wicked. Let me get a cat-scan! LOL!

Answer 5

Well, this gets down to basic human traits. In my 40+ years of dating, I've only been with one man who consistently used his own birth control "just in case". I think the "just in case" covered if I was lying about diseases or being sterile. So we basically trust when someone says they can't get pregnant.
There are extremes in any situation. The man with AIDS who lies; the girl who intends to get pregnant and lies are 2 extremes. Unfortunately the majority of us aren't like that and can get caught in their web.
Your question is valid but keep in mind that a man cannot help choose an abortion; a decent man is bound to feel a bit of resentment.

Answer 6

Someone really got under your skin. Unfortunately, in today's society we accept men not caring for their children. It is the children who suffer. I have always said (i have four sons) be careful who you lay down with. If you create a life, it is not your choice if she has an abortion, gives birth. You will be responsible for the rest of your life. So, be careful, protect yourself, and even better don't have sex until you have gotten married and made a commitment with the woman. I believe we woman as mothers need to instill the proper values of responsibility into our young men so they will be capable loving and nurturing husbands and fathers.

Answer 7

I also have to take the man's side on this one. If you lied then what kind of mother are you to begin with. The man has every right to be upset because you made him think you were something that you're not.
Don't get mad at him now because you tricked him into pregnancy and he's complaining....that's ridiculous. Grow up and stop lying. You lied and you should have to deal with the consequenses.

Answer 8

"Why do men feel they can get out of parenting" - huh ?

I would LOVE to be a father, to raise a child or two, teach them, protect them, provide for them.

But I'm 43yo & single & that's never going to happen. There are about 3 billion men in the world. It may not be smart to over-generalise.

Answer 9

Agree

Answer 10

i totally agree with you. yes it does take two to make a baby. most guys ( not all ) are so immature that they shouldn't be allowed out of the house with out a parent with them. i think if these guys act this way. "well i don't want it cause she lied to me," i say then, i wouldn't want my baby around him any how. so i say forget him, i can do a better job without that SOB any day..lol

i was taught " if you play.. you pay " and " if you play with fire..sooner or later you are going to get burnt " take responsibility for your action.

thanks for the opportunity to rant a little. ok i'm done ranting now.