I always have problem attracting guys. I don't know what is it about me, seems like most guys are not interested in being in a relationship with me. I'm shy but i am friendly, i'm average looking, somehow i am unable to attract guys, only very very few and usually i am not interested in them.
How can i be more attractive?? I desperately want to know, i'm willing to change for the better. At the moment i really have no clue. I'm tired of waiting and being single. The guys that i am attracted to are not interested in me but the guys that i am not attracted to are.
Should i get into a relationship with a guy i am not attracted to? Recently there is this guy, he likes me a lot and is really nice to me... what should i do? Should i keep waiting for the "right" guy?...
2006-09-27 03:54:32 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sometimes i feel its more lucky to be loved. I tend to fall for guys who don't love me too. Relationship sucks.
2006-09-27 05:37:05 · answer #1 · answered by Jordaan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm not too sure cos i obviously don't know that much about you but i know this girl who's passing through more or less the same thing so i'll tell you about her maybe you can relate..
Her main problem is that she's too choosy & picky when it comes to men, everybody likes perfect mates but you have to keep in mind that you have to make some allowances unless you're super-model stuff yourself
She's also not very feminine in a number of ways, be it make up, clothes, charm, and all the little things that signal to any hot-blooded male around. Look at the other girls around you and watch them in action when there's a guy around - Are you sending the right signals?
She's rather shy and reserved, like sticking to corners at a club, looking away or downards if a man eyes her, and not that talkative when cornered. A big put off for guys that do try, they'd think you're not interested and move off..
Hope this helps out
2006-09-27 11:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by Norman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot get over your shyness until you feel a sense of confidence. You can't feel confident unless you have some experiences to draw on.
there is nothing wrong with being cautious, or reserved, but you can do that AND have confidence to be friendly, open and still protect yourself.
Start by talking to people. Be open...accepting. If you read a lot, then you can probably discuss a lot of things; current events say? Maybe start by dressing a little different. Don't wear drab clothes. Get something 'different'. Dress a little more modern or stylish. Maybe go to a gym? Are you fit? How do you carry yourself? Walk tall, walk with style and class. Your body language says a lot. How you sit, how you make eye contact, what you say and how you say it. It all goes into one's 'view' of you. Each is a piece to the puzzle.
Here's a saying...it's cliché, but it's cliché to say it's cliché, so I'm gonna say it anyway.....if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.
Shake things up some. Start slow, then do different things. Re-define yourself. Ask some friends to help. Ask some guy friends, ask some girl friends.
If this guy is interested in you.....then talk to him. Go places, do things, talk, be friends. If that's all you want, then tell him so. Don't let him pressure you for anything you don't want. Be firm, but polite and considerate.
Don't be stuffy or stiff. Be easy-going, and fun. laugh and let go a little, but most of all, you've gotta break the ice and get out and start experiencing things.
I wish you well, and best of luck to you!
2006-09-27 11:05:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See now theres your problem...i spotted it straight away, you seem desperate to cling to a man like that makes you a whole person...you are already a whole person...if you don't look so hard, and just ease up on yourself that might be the time someone really nice becomes interested in you...don't try so hard...theres no way you should settle for second best because you are desperate no way!. Start to focus more on yourself, go shopping for a new outfit...learn to love yourself, and feel comfortable about who you are as a person, without any man being drawn into the equation, once you can do this, believe me you will become more desirable to men because there will be an air of ease, self love, confidence, about you and it will be noticed. Good Luck.
2006-09-27 11:05:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I cant answer the question about how to be more attractive. I have no clue. However the answer to your last question is.. yes give this guy a chance. If you have never been out with him and are only not attracted to his looks, give the guy a chance. Love goes way deeper than the external appearance. However, if you find yourself still not attracted to him early in the relationship, and found that you have give him a chance, then tell him and let him go on. Dont lead him on is what I am saying. There is nothing wrong with having guy friends either to go out to movies or eat with as long as both parties are on the same page. Getting out more in public places will boost your shot in finding that right guy. Good luck to you!!
2006-09-27 11:01:41 · answer #5 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are not attracted to him, I wouldn't do it. It may be a temptation to choose the wrong person (if attraction is important to you.) Some people can see past looks and into a persons heart and that is what they find sexy. But for most of us, physical looks are important to an extent. If you aren't attracted to him, you may be tempted to cheat on him later when someone else comes along.
Also if the person who is meant to be with you comes along, he may pass you over because you are with someone else and hopefully he will be the kind of guy that wouldn't hit on a woman in a relationship.
Single life can be amazing, to say the least. Don't let anyone make you feel like you need a relationship. If you wait until it's right, you can bypass all the mediocre relationships you may have had and wait a little while longer for the one that's dynamite!
2006-09-27 11:02:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, I must say that being in a romantic relationship with someone you don't love, and are not attracted to is bad for both parties. It's not a good idea to be with someone just for the sake of being with someone. The object is not to find someone you can live with, but to find someone you can't live without...someone much wiser than I said that first, and it took me a long time to get that through my head.
Second, there is nothing wrong with being shy for the most part...maybe rather than trying to find a guy, you should try to find something that you are interested in doing, then join a group or two to join...it makes it easier to talk to people if you have something in common to talk about.
Third, the desire to change in order to attract someone is not always a good thing...if you have to stop being yourself to make someone like you, then they are not really liking you at all, are they? They are simply liking whatever it is that you think they like...so, just be yourself, and wait it out, and be involved in something other than the hunt for a guy, that part will sort itself out.
2006-09-27 11:10:44 · answer #7 · answered by Joe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It might not be a bad idea to go out with him a few times, but I wouldn't get into a serious relationship...it wouldn't be fair to either of you. But why not benefit from the experience...
Do you think you're being too picky? Maybe you need to make the first move with the guys that you like. It's hard to say, because I don't know you, but you sound pretty decent. Just get out there and meet people...give people a chance you normally wouldn't, you may find out that you like someone you wouldn't have considered...
You'll know when it's the right guy, just keep your chin up, stay in the game and believe in yourself...and don't forget to have fun!
Good Luck!!!
2006-09-27 11:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by jillymack06 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well in your situation If u dont like those guys then u should wait until u meet the one. What i mean is that if u dont love the guy dont go out with him and to make urself more attractive wear makeup make sure u smell goodd be friendly not snotty just talk to your friends have fun guys liike girls who jus t be urself fun,anything else is a waist of time cuz he wont know the real u
if u have any trouble with nething please email me i would love to help
2006-09-27 11:10:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound simmilar to me. I'm thinking of doing the same as you because I also have that problem of mutual attraction and I don't want to be alone either.
I think we need some extrovert member of the opposite sex to come and get us. Shy types getting together might work but the kids produced would be super-shy wouldn't they and that wouldn't be good?
2006-09-27 11:05:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Waiting for the "right" guy will get you endless nights in front of the TV watching romantic movies by yourself.
Be sure not to pass up nice people who want to share a little time with you. You never know what can happen. Mr. Right might be standing right in front of you. In a god awful suit and mis-matched sneakers.
2006-09-27 11:03:26 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋