My fiance and I have a big tradtional wedding planned for Oct. 20th 2007. We have not put any money down on anything yet but I keep wondering if we should elope. I want both, the big wedidng and just to elope and be married. We are both in our early 20's and we all ready live together so some times it seems like we already live together. My dad said he would pay for us to elope. If we did do this we would want to come back and have a big party. I dont want to do the Vegas thing either maybe Mexico. What do you think?
2006-09-27 02:57:12 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Have a small wedding at the justice of the peace. Invite family and best friend to be there. Don't do Vegas.
Eloping is a great thing if you don't have to have that big wedding. I wish my in-laws offered me $ to elope instead especially since we paid for the wedding!
2006-09-27 02:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by kyrie_eleison_gr 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my personal opinion, the whole point of having a wedding, and the reception afterwords is to celebrate the commitment you and your beloved are making with your friends and family.
As a fairly traditonal girl, I couldn't comprehend making that commitment to my hubby without them there!
Why is it that you're considering eloping? There are various reasons that people do - they don't want the hassle of planning, they want to save money, etc.
If you're trying to save money, then skip the party afterwords - the reception is the expensive part of the wedding anyway! If you don't want the hassle of planning, a wedding coordinator would be a worthwhile expense for you.
Truthfully? It sounds to me like you DO want the wedding. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (remember, I had the big bash - complete with 500 guests!!). The best question you can ask yourself is "Will I regret not having that day? Will I regret my family not being there when I walk down the aisle and take my vows?"
My best planning advice to you: It's a party. That's all it is. It's the most FUN party you'll ever be the guest of honor at, but it's still a party. The marriage is what matters.
Good luck!
2006-09-27 03:13:48 · answer #2 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your dad pays for you, that is not eloping. Eloping is done in SECRET. What you are describing is a desination wedding without guests, not eloping.
Getting married now in a destination wedding, sending out wedding announcements afterwards, and then having an anniversary banquet a year later might be a good option for you.
Remember, you cannot have a shower if you do not plan to have those people as wedding guests. People attending a shower MUST also be invited to the wedding.
2006-09-27 13:30:17 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same dilemma. We're getting married the weekend after you...the 27th. At first we planned this huge wedding with all our family and friends, after starting the planning process I realized very quickly that there was no way I could justify spending so much money on one day. Everyone I know who has gotten married gives me this advice "The day goes by so quickly you don't remember any of it, you have to not worry about anything and really enjoy yourself" Many of them have confessed the day was all a blur and they see pictures they don't remember taking (and it isn't because they were drinking :P ) I've been told by many since we are so young have a small wedding now and renew our vows in like 10 years and have a huge blowout once we are more financially prepared. We are living together as well and would like to purchase a home. I live in Southern Califronia and the price of a wedding could be a great addition for the downpayment on a house. I think there are a lot of other great options for your wedding. We decided to do the Vegas thing, we like you are in our early 20's and are doing something so memorable. We aren't getting married in "The Little White Chapel" or anything like that, our ceremony is going to be one of a kind and so special with only our closest friends and family (about 30 people). It will definetly be a one of a kind wedding. Then we'll come back home and have a huge party the next weekend. Make your wedding day be something special for you and your honey, if you don't want to deal with lots of drama and spend an arm and a leg go for something much smaller. I know someone who is still paying off their wedding and it's been a little over 2 years. That to me is ridiculous. Spend your money on your honeymoon or other traveling.
If you are going to regret not having a large wedding then don't do anything but that. I know you only want to get married once so do it the way you really want it, you don't want to have regrets about your wedding day!!!
Good luck!
2006-09-27 05:29:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad offered the same thing. To pay for us to elope. But we chose the wedding for the memories we would have of that big day...the family and friends gathered around and all of that.
You've got to decide if you want the ceremony for the purpose of formalizing the joining of your lives or if you can handle just announcing we're now married. Since you've lived together already, you may want the ceremony. Either way will have its good sides and bad sides.
Many years later, eloping would be the way I wish I would have gone. Weddings are very stressful - more so for the bride than the bridegroom and doubly so for the bride's parents.
I vote elope and take a good long time to enjoy a honeymoon.
2006-09-27 03:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Think long & hard about this. Then discuss it with your fiance.
You don't have to have 600 guests. You can have a VERY memorable, small, intimate wedding with just close friends & family. Or you can go someplace with just the two of you. Depends on whether it's important for you to have your family witness your marriage.
What is it you or your fiance like to do? Ski? Elope to a ski resort. Into crafts? Gatlinburg is wonderful! Fun in the sun? Maybe Hawaii.
There are Officiants all over that will meet with you & perform your ceremony.
Give me a shout if you need help.
2006-09-27 04:03:40 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up your dreams of the "big wedding," just make it a "big reception." Or however big you want it to be. Of course, once you are married, you as a couple accept responsibility for paying for the reception, since your dad agreed to pay for the elopement.
If you want to re-do your vows at that time, whether for religious reasons or mostly the chance to wear formal attire and have great photos for your album, go ahead. It's a once in a lifetime fling, and I don't see why you shouldn't get to have both the elopement and the wedding if that's what you want!
If you go to Vegas, for example, there are chapels there and they have gowns to rent or to buy, and photographers, and you will have a photo to put in your album. Then if you want the big album with photos of all your friends and relatives to remember them years later, that's your reception.
Maybe don't wait until next October in that case, but plan it for as soon as you can manage once you get back from your trip to Vegas. Your father may even be willing to give you a hand with that in that case, as it will be something more subdued, and probably a great deal less expensive. Just something for pleasant memories and good photographs.
Up to you how many people you tell that you are already married, although there's no point in lying about it. Probably just tell your closest friends when you get back from your trip, and then let them decide whether they pass it along. Be sure they also pass along that you still intend to have your reception, whether soon or next October.
You can refer to it as "renewing your vows," if you like. Especially if there are religious considerations. Of course, such a thing is RSVP for an especially good reason; many people who feel obliged to come to a regular wedding do not have the same feeling about a renewal of vows already made. They figure it's less of a social obligation.
I suggest you wait until closer to the time to buy your gown, however. You don't know exactly what your size and shape will be by that time if you're getting married soon. Ya know what I mean? (Believe me, there are maternity shaped gowns. There would be, of course.)
2006-09-27 03:10:21 · answer #7 · answered by auntb93again 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That's what my dad told me as well, he would pay for me to go to vegas and our entire honeymoon if we would elope. But we didn't that's what my husband wanted to do. The day before the wedding I was ready to go elope that day it was so stressful. But the day of the wedding I would have done it all again to see the look on my father's face. My dad is a very emotional father but that day he was so happy. They love my husband and we all get along (my parents and his parents get along as well) so it was a big party. I think you would regret it if you eloped. Maybe not right now. But later down the road. I will never forget the look on my dad's face, he was so happy. It was worth it!!
2006-09-27 03:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by glitter3317 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wait until 2007. Start saving to have a decent wedding. If you elope, you'll always regret it and then you will be complaining about never having the wedding that you always wanted, trust me.
Save money now, you are still young and have plenty of time... what's the hurry anyway?
Congrats and good luck
2006-09-27 03:02:39 · answer #9 · answered by Blunt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We just got married this past weekend, and I have to say it was more than perfect. We went to Niagara Falls, just us and our witnesses, and had our wedding at the chapel in the garden, and they did a outstanding job. Live organist, videographer, photographer, freash flowers(we just told them what we wanted and they took care of everything) We can send everyone the video so they can see it. Still did the dress I wanted and he wore a really nice black suit. It was so worth it to do it that way as it was so stress free, and so intimate. Its all about you and your husband, and your commitment and love to eachother. This way was so romantic, and we were able to focus on eachother. After the wedding and the pictures(which are going to be killer!!! The photographer was amasing) we went to a really nice restuarant with our witnesses and enjoyed a wonderful dinner. They left at 8:30, and we went up to our honeymoon sweet, filled up the jacuzzi and relaxed, we were so tired because it is a long day, and said to each other "could you imagine having to do a big reception now?" we laughed and said NO, lol. It was just sooo nice to be able to enjoy each other without the pressure of having to enertain everyone and do the big show. Also, the whole wedding complete with video and photos( they print 72 and mountthem in a wedding album for you, plus a Dvd of the pics andthe negatives) cost $1640 taxes and all. You can't beat that. Hope that helps.
2006-09-27 13:11:02 · answer #10 · answered by shrimpseys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋