My boyfriend flirts with a girl at work, in front on me. And he lets her follow him around and stuff that I used to do, but have been told that I can't cuz we're at work. Everyone thinks that they're sleeping together, yet he tells me that there is nothing going on. How can I tell if there is or not without flipping out on him? He says that he will do anything [within reason] to prove that there is nothing going on, but the only thing that I can think of is to ask him to do what he did to me tonight because he was pissed at me --- completely ignore her, don't look at her, don't talk to her, and walk away when she approaches....and not forwarn her, or explain what he's doing. Seems reasonable to me. Your thoughts?
2006-09-27 02:29:12 · 19 answers · asked by Ciera 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Flirting is normal and healthy. As long as it does not go beyond flirting does it become a problem.
2006-09-27 02:39:26 · answer #1 · answered by omvg1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has a total lack of respect for you. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't let ANYTHING come between the two of you, and if you voiced your opinion about the situation and explained that it made you uncomfortable, that should be enough. I have had boyfriends like that, too, and put up with it long enough to find out they weren't worth my time. I'm not saying that is the case with your relationship, but the bottom line is this...If it makes you uncomfortable, he should care enough not to do it...and if he won't stop, then maybe you should look for someone who WILL respect how you feel. Being in a relationship is not about hurting each other. Things like this should never be an issue. Good luck!
2006-09-27 02:35:14 · answer #2 · answered by vette5_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got a point. He knows you are jealous and he knows why. It's very tacky for him to be flirting in front of you. It's okay to talk to someone but being suggestive crosses that invisible line. Frankly, maybe it's time to consider letting him go. It's a trust issue. If you trust him - then don't worry. If you don't trust him than you should take a closer look at if you want to stay together.
2006-09-27 02:34:04 · answer #3 · answered by Hebrews 11 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's bad what he is doing all the way. Since when flirting someone in front of your girlfriend is innocent?
And furthermore, it is not about "what's considered what", it is about him, making you feel bad and he should stop it whatever it is. He is your boyfriend after all, he doesn't care about your feelings?
You have the right to completelly flip out on him, I tell you that. Make him choose. Either his stupid, "nothing's going on" thing, or you.
Flirt with other guys in front of him like he does, make his life a living hell, and then dump the a**hole.
You deserve someone who respects you!
Good luck girl!
2006-09-27 02:43:46 · answer #4 · answered by Irouli 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, asking him to do that is only making him more aware that you are jealous. Let him do what he wants. If he is flirting and he wants it that way, let him. Just let him know what he stands to lose. But of course, you should be able to stand up for these too, there are guys in the office as well I presume, then try being close with one of them. Do it in actions, don't say it in words. Let him realize that people appreciates you too. Men starts paddling faster when there is competition.
2006-09-27 02:35:22 · answer #5 · answered by Nic Nic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Doing it in front of you, knowing fully well that you are hurt by his and her actions is more than cheating...
It is insulting you..
You must confront her and him even if it is at work,,, but don't be like warring,,, just be cool, talk and speak your heart out in a nice but insulting way... you can do it..
And if he get pissed off of you,, then for sure,, he is cheating and maybe getting bored of you,,
Be prepared for the worst then,,, he is only your boyfriend and not your husband,,, he is still free to choose and do what he wants to...
2006-09-27 02:36:11 · answer #6 · answered by yulnores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there is heavy flirting like that and he is not afraid to hide it then yeah i would be a little concerned. Try to talk to him without offending him. I will give this advice though, I have been the "other" woman before and if they are behaving like that at work it will happen if it hasn't already. Be cautious and hang on to your man. Let her know where she stands in your relationship and if it is ment to be and his heart is in the right place, you will overcome this. Good luck.
2006-09-27 02:36:48 · answer #7 · answered by Lynn L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him how you feel but dont make impossible demands. ask him to give you a kiss when he meets you in front of her. to show he has affections for you and to ease your anxiety. if he cares for you he should be willing to make compremises and meet you half way in problems as indeed he would expect the same from you. if he is not willing to show her he belongs to you then something is probably wrong. if he gets outraged at this maybe its true that he fair dinkemly sees that your judgements are wrong.
so what you do is try to set up a situation where the tables are turned. and if he gets jealous and does his nutter at you, then he clearly has a different set of rules for himself than for you. so he doesnt really care about you the way he should.
2006-09-27 02:57:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Flirting is not cheating. It's just fun.
Does he even realize he is flirting. I've been acused of being a huge flirt. I don't even know I'm doing it. I guess it just comes naturally to me. I've tried to stop. I still get told I'm flirting. I could probably sit in the corner all night and still get acused of it. It's just part of me. Maybe that's the same with him.
2006-09-27 02:42:43 · answer #9 · answered by danadeville 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was in your situation I would just say (in the nicest way I knew how) would you please stop flirting with that woman. Say that it's alright and everything to be friends with her but whenever you flirt with someone that much it is making me think twice about our relationship. If he still continues to do it after that or doesn't respect what you are saying to him then I would seriously consider looking for someone else.
2006-09-27 02:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by guitardan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋