...that when you meet someone who overtly shows they are keen, they don't seem so attractive? I met a lovely guy on Friday and there was definite chemistry and a real spark between us. Since then he has left me in no doubt whatsoever how much he likes me. The attention is lovely, but I can't breathe without him texting, phoning, asking to see me, he's even asked to meet my parents!! I've never had this before, usually the guys I meet are players! I've asked him very nicely to back off a bit which he has done and I definitely still want to see him. Why is it that this sort of behaviour can put you off someone - it should have the opposite effect!
2006-09-27 02:03:42 · 16 answers · asked by long_luscious_lashes 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Its always the way life turns out isnt it - you could go months without getting any attention from a guy, and be cribbing and moaning about the lack of it and then when you get it youre like back off!!!
I know it can be overpowering but logically it shows he really likes you and you need to see it from his side - he wants to express his interest in you to let you know he cares about you.
Hes respected your request for a bit of space and obliged - so maybe now you just need to explain to him again that whilst you have no problem with him ringing and phoning etc that you would prefer if he could stop it a bit more as you worry that if he becomes too overbearing that your attitude towards him now may become negative.
Explain that you just think its too much too soon since Friday and you dont want to be frightened off him by his behaviour - maybe he needs direction on how much attention to give you - perhaps an old flame of his dumped him because he didnt give her enough attention and hes just ensuring this doesnt happen with you!
Im really glad you've met a good one for yourself - hopefully you'll work through this!! xx
2006-09-27 02:11:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all need some personal space and this guy is not giving you enough. A successful marriage is usually one where each of the partners has some interests outside the marriage. Quite right to tell him back of or cool it a bit then see how it goes from there. I would be a bit careful though because if he is like that when you have just met he could be far worse if you were actully married
2006-09-27 02:10:28 · answer #2 · answered by Maid Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he's coming off as desperate. Part of the fun, although at times frustrating part, is wondering how the other person feels and when they smother you there's no more guessing and the fun is over. Not a bad thing, but it's a different experience for you, if the guys you tend to date are usually aloof. Your just not sure how to handle a guy that knows what he wants, which happens to be you. Go out have fun and see where it leads.
2006-09-27 02:18:04 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it obviously seems needy. it may not be, maybe he's just madly in love with you, which as you said you should be flattered about. But if you really don't know him that well and he's moving too fast I can see how that would creep you out. I mean this sounds like how a relationship with a future stalker would start (I'm not implying he will be, just trying to hypothesize why your freaked out). It obviously implies he's probably at least a clingy guy, the type where if you still want to have girls nights out he's going to go insane while your out. So if your a real independent gal who wants to maintain a life outside the relationship, that could freak you out.
I think its normal to feel the way you do. Just tell him to slow down a bit. Let him know you like him, but that he is moving too fast.
2006-09-27 02:17:22 · answer #4 · answered by Poppies_rule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn To Love It.... Maybe He Is Looking To Settle Down...Not Many Guys That Are Like That.Take Him While Hes There Because You Might Regret Not Taking The Offer..This Is It Good Luck.
2006-09-27 03:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by Romeo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's trying too hard to impress you ... You've asked him to back off and he has, so try to continue the relationship on a fairly safe level - dates and texting etc. is OK, the meet the parents bit is maybe a bit premature ... Don't have sex with him (just yet) to see if he is just after your body - if he will wait, it may be that he's a good catch ... if not, then he's just another guy who can't keep his dick in his pants ...
2006-09-27 04:06:33 · answer #6 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you mean, and I think it's because - although we may never admit it - everyone likes the thrill of the chase at the beginning of something, at least a little bit. There's something so attractive about not quite knowing whether they want you or not. Everyone loves a bit of intrigue and world literature just proves it. Will he, won't he...? It's all part of the fun!
2006-09-27 02:06:08 · answer #7 · answered by Wes W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, because you are not used to all the attention, even as you said "usually the guys I meet are players", so this is completely new for you. Guys like him really want to make something happen, while other guys (players) just want some ***.
2006-09-27 02:07:16 · answer #8 · answered by your_coolaid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like he just really appreciates what a great girl you must be and that he wants to be with you. Maybe he is just acting a bit desperate or maybe he has found the woman of his dreams and doesnt want to let you go. give me(i mean him) a chance
2006-09-27 02:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by dunc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well make a friendly relation with him do not jump dirctly in to love cause somtimes one who loves is the one who ditches.
be friends and when you have complete on him then move forward .
thts a tip an experienced tip in case u feel bad then sorry.
2006-09-27 02:07:47 · answer #10 · answered by nivi rocks 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋