why do men do this?

Question

why do blokes hide their emotions? my recent ex had this problem.is it because he will think i will think he is is weak? vunrable? is he embarssed? is this to do with his mother leaving him and his 3 brothers when he was 9 yrs old to be brought up with their dad? he says he loves me but struggles opening up! help!

Answer 1

aww... well i think he's just scared that he'll get hurt like his mom hurt him. just show him that you really care, and he'll open up.

Answer 2

It has alot to do with his childhood situation, you should really take that into account. Childhood memories can really affect the way a person is as an adult. Already men are no good with emotions and on top of that his mom left him! That will make him have a hard toime with the way he views women altogether. All the reasons you gave are the reason why men hide their emotion. P.S. what is a bloke?

Answer 3

We don't all do it, Jenny me darlin', only the most insecure amongst us. That's the key to your ex's behavior - insecurity. Yes, he thinks he will appear weak and vulnerable, not realising that a certain level of vulnerability is appealing to most women. A kind, caring and patient woman would be of help, but should't be burdened with all the responsibility for "curing" him. After all, it is HIS problem and the major responsibility for overcoming it is HIS. A physician or mental health professional can give him a goodly amount of guidance on how to get started down the right path.

Answer 4

It could be for a couple of reasons. First, men are made to believe that talking or showing your feelings are signs that he is weak and "girly". No man wants to be perceived as that. Another reason is could be, like you pointed out, that he was raised by his dad and his dad never talked about things like that, so he doesn't know how or just plain out feels uncomfortable about it. You have to realize that he may never be able to tell you how he feels, but his actions will. If he shows you that he loves you and does tell you, then you're already ahead of the game. Don't pressure him to talk until he's ready, or you could push him right out the door.

Answer 5

THEY dont know how to label feelings. they havent been taught that its ok to feel things, people, well 90% of them, do not know how to react to a feeling or even understand what they feel.

Men have it harder, maybe his dad hid his emotions of the pain that was caused when the mum left, you bloke picked up on that as a kid and subconcioulsy does the same thing now. Talk to him, reassure him that you are here for him, put yourself on the line and he might follow, or atleast he will try to. give him time, but if you really try to help him express his feelings it wil work. and it will work because expressing feelings make you feel somuch better, so as soon as he starts, he will like it and wont be able to stop. **) gudluck.

Answer 6

Men have had hard time opening up because it makes us feel vunrable, we don't want to get hurt and if we open up to much the chance of that happening is greater

Answer 7

Because if we open up we are seen as being as a wuss.

I have been open with my emotions and feelings in past relationships, but I have learned that women do not want men who openly express what they feel, but want a man whom they have to nudge and probe to get to the core of things.

He is probably scared that if he does open up totally you will then lose interest and leave him (and this probably relates to his past too).

If you truly care for him and love him (and you have to be sure of this) then let him know indirectly that it is ok to show how he feels and you wont judge him for it. Most men would like a woman who will unconditionally love him without judgement. If he is a genuine, honest person then he deserves this from you.

Answer 8

who knows. it could be that he was brought up to be tough and that being emotional was for the females or homosexuals. it could also be that he is suffering from some degree of depression or low self esteem and feels that if he shows any emotion that he is weak.

It is a good chance that he does not mean to, especially since being raised in an all male household, it is just that he may not know how to show emotion.

Answer 9

Conversely, why must women be so open with their emotions ?

Actually, you have a point; we tend to bottle it up (your ex sounds especially bad) & most of us admit to this. We're not trying to be difficult & its probably to do with wishing to avoid appearing vulnerable. The only postive thing I can think of (if it is positive) is that this is one of those key diffreneces between the sexes that can make relationships both satisfying & frustrating at the same time - so vive la difference.

Answer 10

Some men find it hard to open up and that can be for any number of reasons but it does sound like you've hit the nail on the head with his mother! Let him know you will be there for him and he'll open up to you. I had the same problem with my other half and now I can't shut him up lol! They will open up when they realise that you aren't going to laugh at them or take the piss like they're mates do, and when they do it it is worth it!

Answer 11

I am similar, i tend to hide my emotions, i usually hide them because it is something to do with something I dont like to talk about, or find hard to talk about.

With regards to women, I hide certain emotions depending on how well i know, and the type of relationship I am in and how far i trust them with my life.

Hope this explains it a bit better :)