hi my husband is good.but he is always warried about his sister.he is always litsening his sister more than me.her name vandu. vandu is very smart girl.she know her brother is warried about her so she always distrub us with her family problems.&she is blackmailing my husband & my in laws so what can i do so that my husband always listen me.& how can he see her real face?????????? plz help me..........
2006-09-27 01:32:49 · 21 answers · asked by ashwini s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Give it up, honey. He has shown that his "family" does not include you. Accept it or move on.
2006-09-27 01:35:23 · answer #1 · answered by kksay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you did not say how she is blackmailing everyone? So you can always hide a small tape recorder in your pocket. Have it set up where your hand is in your pocket and when she comes around to blackmail then silently flip on the record button . You may have to test it out a few times for quality of hearing. Then you would have your proof and you could then play it back for whoever you wanted to convince. At least they would know the truth about her.. You could hide the tape recorder in a fruit bowl on the table and have her sit down and ask her probing questions that you know will result in her mouthing off and have it on record before she comes over. (You can buy the little tape recorders at Radio Shack)....Vandu may be a smart girl but you are smarter... You can do this... Start your detective work and don't tell a soul.......
2006-09-27 01:41:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i gather from your problem is that she is jealous of you. So she is showing you that you may be her brother's wife but blood is thicker than water. She is showing you that she will always have more of a say than you do.
As to your husband, there really isn't anything that you can do. He needs to see this for himself. You can stage something to show him what is going on.
The day she has a problem, you should also get one and see who he deals with first. If he leaves you to deal with her then your husband has issues.
Do not oppose her because whether or not you are right about her, you will be the enemy.
If it is persistent then you need to have some kind of professional speak to the two of you together.
If that doesn't work, then you know what you have to do.
But your brother has a very awkward relationship with his sister though.
Anyway, hope i was of help to you. And i hope that things work out.
2006-09-27 01:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple : you too can "disturb" your husband with "family problems" : tell him that you feel alone, that you don't feel helped, that vandu is too close to him, that vandu vampirizes your family, that vandu is too often at home, etc... complain, complain, complain. After a while, he will have to deal with TWO complaining women : maybe then he'll stop to listen to vandu, because he'll think that caring of just ONE complaining woman (you) is quite enough... Tell me if this works, good luck
2006-09-27 01:38:44 · answer #4 · answered by lorenzzzo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...first let me start by saying good luck! Family relationships are always the hardest. Try to sit down with your husband and tell him this is REALLY bothering you, you have stress the point that this is interrupting your marriage, maybe that will get his attention. If that doesn't work you might have to take more desperate measures, like tell him to limit the time he talks or spends with his sister, this should help eliminate some problems. Good luck again!
2006-09-27 01:38:50 · answer #5 · answered by what 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you are gonna have a time with this one and not a very easy one. Sometimes when you love a person, it is hard to see them for what they really are and what they are doing in a case like this. Your husband loves his sister, obviously, and can't see the deceit and sneakiness in her. Who can make him see her real face? No one, I'm afraid. Not even you. And the more you try to tell him, the blinder he gets. He doesn't WANT to see her real face. He loves her unconditionally. Maybe one day, he will tire of the way she does him and the family and put a stop to it. If not, you are gonna' have to come up with something really creative and sneaky yourself to make him open his eyes. Sorry I can't be of more help, but good luck!
2006-09-27 01:47:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because men are men your husband will most likely not see what is going on until something drastic happens with his sister that puts a real strain on his life. Just try to take it one day at a time and hope he see the light soon. Good Luck from someone who has been there and done that..
2006-09-27 01:37:29 · answer #7 · answered by lisa_sonydadc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience, if his family is involved, you can never win whilst they are still in the picture. One day, she will trip herself up (perhaps literally) and show her true colours to him. He will then realise and see her for what she really is. Until then, you must be supportive and all-smiling. He will soon realise that his sister is a moaning attention seeker whereas his wife is a pleasant, calm person.
You will then be seen as rising above all the problems without having to actually do anything and she will end up on the scrap heap.
2006-09-27 02:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the higher ground. Meaning, don't stoop to her level, just be the woman your husband fell in love with and be polite and courteous to his family, including his sister. He'll see that you stick by his side and support him. Have you shared these concerns with him? If you, tread lightly, that is his family. Nothing can break that bond, but he can (sorry) divorce you. So if you talk to him about it, start with asking how he feels about the situation. He may ask your advice. Make sure that the advice is as positive as you can make it, try not to make his sister look bad in any way. I hope all works out for you!
2006-09-27 01:37:42 · answer #9 · answered by Sweet! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no real way to solve this problem. you as person are being tested for your patience. as time goes on you husband will eventually see what his sister is up and will ultimately start listening to you and will say to you i should have been listening to you from the start, but you being the more mature one out of this will not say "i told you so" ;~) believe me when i say this because I'm speaking from experience
2006-09-27 01:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by gsxr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i read you well your husband is of a Hindu culture judging from the name of of his sister, if this is right she is using this to manipulate your husband ,s position to her advantage ,Hindus have strong family ties and you will have to find the way using caution to deter this sister from doing damage to your relationship,good luck.
2006-09-27 01:48:27 · answer #11 · answered by delmy d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋