my boyfriend and I have been seeing each other a year but his friend is really horrible to me, she ignores me when I try and talk to her and has even asked my boyfriend to move in with her right in front of my face on my birthday, I don't want her and my boyfriend to fall out so I said by all means hang out with her but I'd rather keep my distance now she's telling my friend she wouldn't have put us together in a million years and kept asking him to go out for a drink but not asking if i wanted to go and deliberatley excludes me from conversations, I've spoke to my boyfriend and he's been great listening and I know it's hard for him as they've beenfriends along time but he's even notices some of the things she's done, I don't want to cause confilct for anyone by confronting her but she's told lies to try and split us up aswell
2006-09-27 00:59:17 · 33 answers · asked by xx_lush_xx 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lets think hard about this one...SHE WANTS HIM TO HERSELF, I had a guy friend who I was really close to everytime he had a new gf i got upset, I didnt want to date him at the time (by all means i had the chance) I broke him up with several people includeing one of my friends. i treated the girls he was dateing the same way she is treating you. As his gf you need to realize over time it will get worse with her. I know you like him but you will get hurt in the end. Your better of telling him it really does hurt you and make you unconfortable so insted of making him choose you are going to have to end your relstionship. It sounds like its best for both of you because the only other thing you can do is call her out on it which will cause a problem between him and her and make him hate you. I am sorry but its the only way that will stop.
2006-09-27 01:23:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, she sounds like a real *****!
Could it be that she likes your boyfriend romantically in the past and hence didn't think any girl would be good enough for him? OR maybe she's just too possessive of him because he's her best friend and she is afraid that he will neglect her because of you.
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Why don't you try being nice to her? Like, ask her along for dinner or something. Try for a last few times before you decide that she really has something against you. Don't be too upset by her barbs - that's what she would want you to react.
The fact that she's your boyfriends' best friend means that this woman is someone special to him. Not special in a romantic way (otherwise they would have been together ages ago) but special nonetheless.
In any way, try to be civil to her. Don't ever give her any handles that she can use against you. For example, you can hate her guts but try not to use too venomous grammer when you talk about her to your boyfriend or even to friends. The fact is, words do travel and the last thing you want is for her to complain to your boyfriend that you are telling tales behind her back.
Your boyfriend has eyes and ears too. You know this, because you said he also noticed "some of the things she's done". So, just continue being civil (or try being nice) to her and I'm sure he will see and appreciate it and love you more for the great person that you are :)
2006-09-27 01:11:40 · answer #2 · answered by syrope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl is jealous and I would think is probably wanting your man for herself. You are such a threat to her. He might be aware of this and secretly enjoy the rivalry between you both. You need to stand up for yourself and tell her very politely that he has chosen to be with you and that she must respect that or butt out. I cannot believe you have been so tolerant for so long. If your boyfriend cares for you, he will have to do some straight talking to this supposed friend, although I feel that she is not much of a friend if she treats any of his friends this way especially his girlfriend. I think in the end it might come down to him making a choice between her and you. Good luck - but be assertive and stop being so nice.
2006-09-27 01:16:46 · answer #3 · answered by feebee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealous cow is all she is - its obvious she wants your man for herself and is doing her best to upset you hoping that you'll dump him so she can get her scabby claws into him
My advice to you it first of all again talk to your boyfriend - explaining that you detest the situation shes putting you in because all you ever wanted was to be able to get on with his mates (makes you look good) and that she is being really sneak and obnoxious toward you particularly when your boyfriend isnt watching (makes her look bad!)
Then Id tell him that if he wouldnt mind youd like to approach her and ask her why she is being like this because youd just really like for ye all to get on (again - he'll be like aww shes so good making an effort) whereas in fact you approach that b*tch and tell her you're aware of what shes up to - and that she either cops the hell on or YOU have the power to end the friendship between them as you've spoken to your boyfriend and that he said he'd pick you over her any day of the week as its you he loves not her.
If she then goes back and repeats what you've said to your boyfriend - deny it - at least you have the upper hand in the fact that you've had these conversations with your boyfriend before about her.
Its not always the best way - but in this case I think you need to fight fire with fire. Hope it works out hun xx
2006-09-27 02:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds like an understanding guy. Tell him that you don't want to come between their friendship but you can't take the things she's saying about you behind your back. He should step up and talk to his friend and tell her that if they're going to be friends, she's going to have to be more respectful of you and his feelings for you. Tell him that you would like to be included in the things they do as friends to get to know her better. Maybe if she knew you a little better the 2 of you could end up as friends also.
2006-09-27 01:05:08 · answer #5 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been here,seen it all.
she is telling him things too and your boyfriend is NOT being totally honest with you, he knows this girl blatenly likes him in that way, but he feels like he owes her something because they are or were mates orginally, it might be doing his ego some good i dunno, but he obvioulsy can see what is happening and should talk to the girl about it, tell HER TO BACK OFF. na im sayin. she is violating your relationship, next time she does something, turn it round say something sarcastic, make her look dumb and if he dont back you, he aint fu*kin worth it. he is showing that he has lack of respect for you. afterall youaint done nothingwrong to him,so his "friend" has no place to be like that to you, even if you had, its between you and him not HER. SHE sounds like she jelous. it is not healthy, what ever the situation maybe, their "friendship" sounds dodgy, he is not telling you everything idont think. trust me. and what the fu*k is she saying move in with me infront of you, come on, you shoulda looked at him with expression of eyes as if to say, yeah, so what the fu*k are you gona reply to that, you best say something fool!! dont let him take you for a fool man, dont listen to his excuses either, if he takes her side a bit more than yours, WALK AWAY, he will be so devistated at the relisation of what he lost, and his "friend" will recognise this and feel even more jelous, plus why stick around when you feel second best, whats the point. you deserve better.
gudluck. on what ever you decide. **) XX
2006-09-27 01:12:38 · answer #6 · answered by london lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your boyfriend has noticed her flipping out too. Just stay your sweet self and he'll sympathize with you. If you get into a confrontation with her, it'll just make you look like her. Continue to take the high ground and you'll continue to look like the class act that you've obviously been.
2006-09-27 01:03:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She wants your man girl or is jealous of the attention she shows you. If he sees that his friend is treating you this way and does nothing to intervene than maybe you need to think if he is putting her over you. If he really loved you and was devoted to you then he wouldnt let anyone disrespect you, friend or not, female or male! You need to speak with him because its his friend but if she still acts a fool then you need to confront her sneaky a**!
2006-09-27 01:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by superbad~honeydip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't put up with it. Confront her and see what her problem is. If nothing happens, make him chose. He might just like all the attention but at the end of the day, if you're so important to him he should stick up for you, not for her.
2006-09-27 01:28:44 · answer #9 · answered by nicoled2408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't confront her. Always be uber nice to her, so she never has anything to say about you. She is playing a power game, so just don't enter it, if you do it nearly shows that you are threatened by her.
Tell your boyfriend the nasty things she says or does, but don't harp on about it.
Eventually she will f*uck up and do it in front of him and you can say "You see! I told you she is a b*itch to me. You need to have a word with her"
And don't fret, he is with you.
Good luck!!
2006-09-27 01:15:55 · answer #10 · answered by zara c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋