my daughter has a 11month old baby, she never watches ive had the baby sinse she was a month old! my daughter has been in jail! now that she is out shetrys to order me around with the baby! she only sees her a fewmin every other day but if i dont do things for my daughter she threatens to take the baby away! what can i do?
2006-09-26 23:43:57 · 19 answers · asked by beachplayingslots 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Either let your daughter have the baby full time and she how she handles it or make a permanant arrangement with the baby in your care through child services, with the mother being in a supervised visitation situation...
by the way
just as a thought
Tell her to shut the hell up and get her *** out, of your house, if she doesn't show some respect for the job you are doing raising Her Child.. she is an ungrateful btch
2006-09-27 00:03:15 · answer #1 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm guessing that you are the child's legal guardian or that you have custody. Do call legal aid and ask if you have any rights. Decide if you want to legally establish those rights. Go to child support and file. Now. Your daughter should be paying child support to you. Ask the court to establish a neutral place where your daughter can visit her child for a specified period of time. In other words, establish visitation. You can take the baby to an aunt or the other grandmother's, or even to a trusted friend, whoever you think would agree to the arrangement. Establish your boundaries. Find a good time to let your daughter know the measures you are taking in order to establish the baby's security. The actions you are taking are not AGAINST your daughter they are FOR the baby and that needs to be very clear.
This is your response whenever she brings the subject up.
When your daughter has shown you that she is making responsible decisions with her life and that she has accomplished assuming these responisbilies she will have earned some respect. On the other hand, trust is going to require more. She will have to accomplish her responsibilities consistently over a period of time and have something to show for her efforts. This is the natural progression for responsible persons. You need to sit her down with thought out notes in your hand and tell her all of the above. Then tell her the strengths you see in her character, and that you know as she grows she is becoming a wonderful person, and that you forgive her for the mistakes she has made. Tell her you love her and that together you will all get through this.
Then the next time you see her, ask her to sit and you repeat the whole thing again. And again and again. Have her tell you what she thinks she is capable of doing and how to do it. Become someone she can confide in. The important thing is that she understands that above all she is loved. Hang in there. Aim for the end result. Give your daughter the gift of time. She has some catching up to do. In her heart, she wants her Mom. Just stay calm and know your path and hang in there. I commend you for all the effort you have put into this daughter. You've held the family together and that is an unmeasurable gift.
2006-09-27 01:17:31 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have custody of the baby, who cares what she says, If you don't TAKE ACTION NOW.. This child does not need to grow up around all the fighting.. Go and try to see who you can talk to about getting full custody of the baby, if your daughter only see's her a few minutes a day and you had her since she was a month old then your daughter is an unfit mother and don't deserve to have her..There are so many grandparents raising thier grandchildren these days....
2006-09-26 23:53:49 · answer #3 · answered by Tracy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is doing this because you let her. Apparently she really does not want this child based on her activity. You have two choices here. One is children's services and a custody order. The other is to call her bluff. When she threatens to take the baby and go tell her that you are tired of her BS and do it if she has to. This girl sounds like shes been getting over on you for some time. She didn't even learn her lesson from jail. You aren't going to change her. She may have to go.
2006-09-26 23:55:40 · answer #4 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's using the baby to blackmail you into doing things for her. If you want the baby seek custody. Since your daughter already been in jail,there's lot of probabilty.
Or you can put a stop to that wen the next time she orders you and threatens abt taking the baby, tell her to do it. More probably she won't but won't have any reason to blackmail you.
2006-09-26 23:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by Saphire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tricky situation. Whatever you decide to do I hope your judgement is the correct one. I'd say that your daughter doesn't care about her baby... Am I wrong? If so, I don't know what would be worst: to give the baby back to her mother or to deal with your daughters manners while she visits her baby. It seems like you're a good grandmother, maybe it's better for you to take care of the baby. I wonder if your own daughter would take good care of the baby... Be brave! V.
2006-09-26 23:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by another911 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunate situation. if you're a more fit mother, you may want to take custody of the child; if you are willing to be the mother indefinitely. if you are, this might be the most optimal course
otherwise say no and say no, you aren't having the baby...then threaten her with a custody battle. be stronger with your daughter; laydown the law and dont listen to her.
or maybe you could say...fine, take the baby, but you better take care of her...otherwise i'll call DCFS and they'll take her away from you...but I'm not putting up with your crap anymore. I've watched and loved this child since she was 1 month old. I've given this child a life. I done a lot but I wont take crap from you. And its too bad that your daughter will suffer because of your rude actions.
2006-09-26 23:50:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the precedence desires proffesional help. Have her communicate over which includes her college councillor or something. Shes merely 13 so that you've each and every of the right to save her in, she must have quite an early curfew. you want to objective to achieve her trust and also you want to be able to trust her. If those adult men are that a lot older than her, you'll get the police in contact! Its ill that they should be searching at a 13 3 hundred and sixty 5 days previous and should be locked up in the adventure that they are 10-12 years older! teach her some images of STI infections that are nicely developed that ought to truly creep her out! Dont take issues remote from her although which will merely make her indignant and up to date you. perchance merely eliminate the internet or enhance parental controls incase shes chatting with those weirdos on-line. If shes a danger to you and your unborn toddler she could go stay which includes her mum, although the visual attraction of a clean sibling ought to settle her down! My suggestion is proffesional councilling! reliable success
2016-12-02 04:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by policastro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get strong and tell her to take her baby and leave you alone, believe me she will come begging you to take the baby back. My husband threatened me like this after our divorce, my dad gave me this advise, it killed me to say this to him but my dad was right, he told me "are you nuts I can't take care of the kids" thats when I got custody of my kids. Play this card if she takes the baby it will not be over a few days, and when she brings her back lay down the law: I will take care of your child but you will not ask for anything more because this is a big burden to me and I really don't know if I want to do this(this will get her attention to she will be burdened with a kid, no way); I have no extra money because babies are exspensive and I will not ask for child support if you give me temporary custody of the baby just till you get a home for you & her(which will never happen & she will have to prove she is a good mother to get the child back); I also need you to help me babysit some because I am going to need extra money & I am thinking of an extra job on the weekend (this will freak her out that you might miss up her weekend). I know all this because I am describing my step-daughter and her ex-mother-in-law, she does not want her son to mess up her free life, he is 6yrs old now.
My husband now,said he has a friend that every time their daughter needed money for rent, food or gas and they refused she would snatch up the baby and tell them she was taking him with her and they would never see him, well they always gave in because they wanted to keep their grandson. One day they got teed off and told her to take her baby and go, she kept the baby two weeks and called crying every other day to bring him back and they said no. One day she showed up and said the baby missed its grandparents(4 months old, right) and did not come back to pick him up, she called and asked if they would raise him and gave them custody.
2006-09-27 00:27:51 · answer #9 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The child is the main concern here and the fact that your daughter was in jail and neglects the child makes her unfit to be a parent. I recomment that you take your daughter to court and fight for the right interest of the child. Your daughter might just learn something good out of it and maybe respect you more.
2006-09-27 00:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by rissienr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋