Why does my mom not care?

Question

My mom must me or something! I feel sick to my stomach, have chest pains, terrible breathing difficulties, and dizzyness! I told my mom about all these problems, and her respons to that is "You complain to much" That's what she always says to me everytime I try tot ell her what's wrong. When a teacher at school yells at me for no reason, my mom tells me not to tell on the teacher, I feel like running away, hurting myself really badly or even killing myself! My mom always makes me do the laundry and make supper when I don't feel good, and while i'm doing that, my brothers are doing whatever they want! When I tell my mom stuff, she tells me that i'm starting to act more like my brother everyday cause he lies so she thinks i'm lying! My dog sleeps with me and last night I saw my dog in the garbage, I pulled her away, and this morning everything was everywhere, my mom didn't believe it was the dog! and alot more has happened that makes me think that she s me! What should I do

Answer 1

Your mother is very likely treating you the way she was treated as a child. History tends to repeat itself. See a school counsellor about your symptoms. Maybe if they can confirm that there is something really wrong with you physically, then your mother will have to believe you on at least this point, and who knows, maybe the rest will follow

Answer 2

You do not say how old you are and from some of the words you use (eg garbage, mom) I would guess that you are possibly in the US. I'm not certain what youth services they have over there but if you are living in the UK, you could always try to ring Childline or the Samaritans if you are feeling so low, neither of these numbers appear on an itemised phone bill, so I believe.

Alternatively, you school will undoubtedly have a counsellor or access to one.

In the meantime, I think all parent-child relationships go through such low periods. Respectfully, perhaps it might help if you considered the situation from her point of view. Does she have pressures at work? Perhaps she is over-tired and over-stressed in her job and is taking it out on you? (Wrong, I know) Does she have to work and then come home to a family and then have to start all over again with the housework, cooking etc? It sounds from your question that there is at least three of you kids.

Perhaps at a quiet time when she is not too stressed out you and she could have a quiet, calm, mature discussion about the problems and difficulties that she is facing. She could be worried about bills, health worries or redundancy. Maybe if she sees that you are trying to understand it from her point of view she will either open up to you about what's really wrong or at least see you in a different light.

Could you approach her and then your brothers about a more even distribution of the household chores? Like a rota or something. If doing all the housework and coping with these feelings is affecting your schoolwork, maybe this could be a good point to bring into any discussions. After all, no one would want your grades to suffer.

Whatever happens, good luck. It's not easy being a teenager but it's also not easy being a mother of a teenager either! I hope you find a swift and amicable solution for you and your family but do seek independent help for your feelings. You do not have to cope alone. XXXXX :-)

Answer 3

Your Mum is definetely stressed out about something in the family or workplace. Why doesn't she trust your brother? I'm sure she loves you and doesn't want to lose you. Remember that, with everything else, she's still trying to keep you well fed and she wants you to study. You're better off than some kids, I know, whose mothers don't really care until the child grows older and leaves home for good. You sound young, so your worries are a lot less. Try to concentrate on your studies, tell your mother that you won't have anything (not even cooking supper) interfere with your studies, and really do well at school and show it to your Mum. But, don't neglect any housework that you could do. Be nice to your Mum, and be patient with your brothers. They are still the only immediate family you know.

Good Luck, my dear!

Answer 4

Hurting yourself is not the answer. There's better ways to get attention, it's called communicating. Not complaining, not attacking but telling her how you feel. Using words like "I feel hurt when I feel that no one's listening to me". Don't name names and don't use words like "you do this".

See, things you FEEL aren't always what's really happening. Maybe one thing is happening but you feel a different way about it. Like you feel that your mom hates you because she makes you do all the work, but in reality she's probably bringing you up the same way she was brought up. She's not trying to hurt you, she just doesn't know any other way.

You should listen to what she's saying. Maybe you DO complain too much and then when it's serious no one really believes you. Ever heard of the story "cry wolf"? You gotta stop being so dramatic girl!

You sound like someone who says "poor me" a lot. "things just happen for no reason to me". Well, there's a reason. It's you. I mean, your ID is bad_girl for goodness sakes! You can't expect people to treat you well when you don't treat them well or when you don't behave how you're expected to. I think you have lots of maturing to do. Good luck.

Answer 5

The only answer to any of thee kinds of problems is to face the person: ask your mum why she is acting like that

I know it will be difficult at first, but communication is the only way out

Do you live with your dad? Do you have any ohter relatives that can help you with this problem? What about friends? Sometimes if you talk with the support of someone, it makes it easier for both you and your mum to talk

Also, some people find councelling helps too, so suggest to your mum to do a session with you...

But PLEASE dont even think about harming yourself: you will not be helping anyone of you harm yourself....and problems will not get any better

Life is a struggle and you have to be strong and survive the battle: i can tell you are a fighter, and you will get through this...

Answer 6

Sounds like you have a lot to deal with there. Try this, go to the counselor at school and talk to him/her about all this. Make a copy of everything you put down here and see what ideas they offer.

I am sorry that you are going through all this but do keep in mind that you have a wonderful life ahead of you. I know it is rough right now but you keep your chin up. Things WILL turn around.

Go talk to the counselor and if she does not listen ,then talk to someone at your school who is an adult and can offer advise.

Good luck Hun!

Answer 7

Childhood sucks, but the good news is that it ends. Try to be patient, life is important and you don't want this to be the focal point. Try to look at the positive and keep in mind that soon you will be out of the house living your life.

Life isn't that bad. It is full of good times and bad. And contrary to what people say these are not the best years of your life. You will have great and wonderful things to look forward too. And they will come.

Good Luck

Answer 8

Yeah, some moms will be like that. Don't worry too much about it.

You might want to look at why teachers are yelling at you. It can't just be for no reason.

What about your dad? If you're feeling so bad, maybe your dad can take you to the doctor. If he won't help either, you should ask to see the school nurse.

Answer 9

Why do you want to hurt yourself or even kill yourself for someone who doesn't care (like you say) about you? How old are you? You're still young and after you finish school you can leave the house to some college or just leave and get a work or something, just ignore her and stop telling her stuff she wont tell you stuff you don't like to hear.

Answer 10

I don't think it's not that she doesn't care. She just gets very tired of all the whining that she doesn't know what is true and what is not anymore. You have to show you are trustworthy in what you say or she will not take you seriously. Whining and complaining gets very stressful on parents after awhile so try to be respectful of her too.