let's laugh..what's the worse sack lunch you could give a kid..that has no appeal to a kid..be sure to include

Question

a main dish or sandwich, something salty, something sweet, and something to drink.

Also consider presentation (what it is carried in and extras that might be included in the bag)

What's the worst possible combination, nutritionally speaking and taste and appearance wise.

Be creative...and let's laugh at the answers it gets.

you guys are hilarious. I'm rotflmao--really..very funny. I think I'll make some comments on your lunches

EDIT to Judi--Love the herring and grapefruit juice (not usually a kid favorite, is it?) and IN a baggie..even the juice hahaha lol...that's a good one. Like the whole kiwi too...

EDIT- to victory..

very--creative putting the hello kitty shape..*chuckling*..
-cup o' noodles..nice and messy to eat..
-banana (don't you hate those black ones with all the soft parts).

But the highlight was the cold hush puppy..love it. but no--you goes a cool step further with the gold spray painted basket...now that would get some attention, wouldn't it?

but then..a note card from mom--popup no less..good job!

Edit to the mom (from he**??)--actually I love the liverwurst sandwich you described--got me hungry..but I don't suppose a kid shares my taste..green tea--unsweetened no doubt..like the beat up man's lunchbox, but my favorite in your lunch was the note (not I love you) but study your multiplication tables with the one wrapped around the sandwich..good..they'd love that.

EDIT to blazegirl-lemon pie in as stained bowl..a favorite pie flavor for jr. sandwines--a kid pleaser if ever there was one..ewwwthat gross buttermllk again..good choice of toppings for the cold biscuit..a real crowd pleaser..great:-)

EDIT to hardworking--omg that sandwich just took away my appetite for the liverwurst--..good don't need the extra calories--plus can't stop being on the computer and break my many hour addiction today to eat (it's a goooood diet, but it messes up the life)

vinegar everywhere (marinated prunes..yum)

and spinach really in vogue now..e coli anyone? ("no-cooked is fine, sweetie..mommy's not trying to kill you")

prunes, nonpitted I hope! but that drink, oh my, between that and the prunes look like Johnny will get out of school a little this afternoon to go to bathroom a lot..

tippy cup--can you picture it? As if the vinegar and sardines don't keep peers at a distance. well, he won't have to worry about lice at least since no close contact.with other kids now.

EDIT to avrenim_4--lioke the biiiigggg container..fruit cake AND brown rice pudding --have you no heart???

EDIT- to daisy girl--Oh my--bird's feet? pig's ears? shopping at the Asian market a lot lately?

Yum--cold fried okra..a kid's fairytale food!

you did leave the dirt in the beet greens, didn't you for that extra crunchy texture to go with the crispy feet.

EDIT- to daisy girl--Oh my--bird's feet? pig's ears? shopping at the Asian market a lot lately?

Yum--cold fried okra..a kid's fairytale food!

you did leave the dirt in the beet greens, didn't you for that extra crunchy texture to go with the crispy feet.

Bitter melon, sounds delish--not!

Tofu---good choice, everyone's favorite flavor..plain yogurt also delish!

It is smart of you to add that extra salt to the anchovies..lord knows, they need it.

Can't you picture him going for the best thing--the boiled egg--what a surprixe to see it running down the table and the kids away from the lunch from h*ll.

Pumpkin soup now there's a seasonal, holiday favorite veggie..as Homer Simpson says.with that faraway look in his eye...sooooooup? souooooop? Ever so much better than pumokin pie.

Oh God, I once went to a birthday party as a kid and they served unsweetened koolaid--nearly 50 years ago and I still can't get that taste out of my mouth..best party ever!!!!

black licorice--best candy ever made!!!except for sens sens

nice way to get his mind off that boring schoolwork thinking about what possible horrible things await him at dinnertime..mess with his mind, the little brat.

I think those pigs ear might become the new steak..

true story--I lived next to a family of 10 Cambodian refugees..they asked me to take them to the grocery store..this is what they bought..several pounds of greens, at least 10 packs of pig's ears (they actually had them in the meat case back then. (it was the store's lucky day..no markdowns on the pig's ears), and about5 2 liters of orange pop that they thought was orange juice. I was shocked..they were wonderful people though..I grew to love them dearly asnd helped them a lot.

Your coming in to the school (especially dressed like that) is sure to be looked back on when they are 35 with a good laugh (that's how long it will take to get over this lunch).

And BARNEY...BARNEY???

krys--prune juice..ugh..not a favorite juice for anyone..I like the thrift store purse for the boy to carry it in..never live that down.

Back to Barney, the kid will be humnming his Barney song all day...

"I love you

no, not true

you love me
,
i'm in a messed up family....

this was a fun time on here..props to all.

wow..good thing I didn't pick best answer yet as I got several more replies in the last day and a half..I thought it would be buried after a few hours..good job!

Edit to butwhatdoIknow--at least you didn't vmit all over your clothes in kindergarten and have to walk out of the bathroom in your slip and be sent home like me-one of my first memory (and life hasn't gotten any better. lol).

In the 50's I remember my mom sending me boiled egg and salt wrapped in a little waxed paper, but I liked it. Went to catholic school and we were watched like hawks and if we bought a school lunch, we had to eat every items or we got in trouble. I remember I hated peas and loved butter and my cousin (also in my classroom) hated butter and loved peas and we ould sneak and trade them when the nuns turned their backs).

EDIT to mom (appropriated membername for this)--garlic was certainly original.
Sandwich wasn't too horrible (potted meat..nasty (but within the budget..hehe)

until you had to go and add the banana. Salt--they'd be looking forward to those pretzels all day, but unfortunately when they get home, they discovered. the baby ate them. Strudels was nice and messy.

OMG-uck!! your drink and I hope you put it all in a 2 liter bottle without a cup so all their friends could enjoy watching.

the hobo stick thing LMAO..you were VERY creative there.
Like the note and nicknames..the boy's container was also highly creative idea...very good, mom. Great job. A+, especially on your containers and notes.

EDIT to hokis99-hope the 2 day old chicken was with bones..good desert..drink sounds yummy! good note as well.

EDIT to Mikewonaus-asparagus--long stalks uncooked-yep!

You don't like raisons, tangerines, or bananas? pumpernickel, either, I take it?

Must say your lunch was very nutritious selection!

EDIT to Patty--escargo-nastiest food ever! had it once at a fancy restaurant--tasted just like mud.

don't really like pesto, but especially with cream cheese.

Oh, that sucker..When I was student teaching elementary school, the science methods teacher made us all do a 5 week lesson involving mealworms..nasty little things (but they are now forever in my mind)..how could he eat em? licking their little bumpy bodies..

Dried shrimp reminds me of all those dried, salted fish in Asian markets. Once I went to a Japanese restaurant and they had a bunch of weird things on the menu ..one I remember was sea urchin with jellyfish sauce and green tea ice cream with red bean sauce.

plum in the tea..wow..that's weird.

You should ask your son, what his friends ate during the best (and post it in the comments)

EDIT to kayboff--this lunch actually sounds good to me--I love liver, asparagus soup, and definitely dark chocolate..brownies..a favorite..kraut juivce --isn't a favorite but tolerable. (ok maybe I'm weird..who know?)

EDIT to i love quesadill...Catfood and moldy bread and cooked spinach and all together--eeewwww..you devil mom..lol

Smiley face shape smiling at your pain...nice subliminal..

salty fish--see
Asian market comment above..that is one horrid drink..note is nice touch!

EDIT to lawyermama--auto zone bag container lol..

I absolutely love head cheeese--haven't had it in years though..I first got turned on to it at the farmer's market meat shop and always begged my mom to buy it and the crunchy cased hot dogs in the 50's.

Also personally love the seaweed chips--the one made with rice flour at the health food store.

exlax squares--I remembber my grandma gave some to my brother telling him they were candy..ohhh noooo!

Thoughtful of you to pack the clean underwear though..your a good mom:-)

Exlax the gift that keeps on giving.

clam juice--not good stuff!

Lawyermama--you'll get sued with that lunch..

Hope you guys were able to read my comments and all the reponses..I like this thread..

If you have anything to say, leave it in the comments..this will be so hard to pick a best answer..you all did a fantastic job and get AAA++++s from me!

Answer 1

appetizer -- fried, crispy bird's feet or homemade pickled pig's ears with a beet top garnish and a few fried cold okras packed in a old crushed potato salad container.

with some unknown thing thrown in the bag from the Asian market like pickled turnips or bitter melon (ugh)..include paper parasol if it's a boy..

main dish --plain tofu cubes in plain yogurt with a few anchovies and extra salt.thrown in.

uncooked egg (with salt)

pumpkin soup with noodles in it (cold)

flat Pepsi in a canning jar or unsweetened koolaid (lime)

desert-mushy peach with rock hard black licorice twissler

also include can of fruit cocktail with no can opener (as a tempting teaser they can't eat)

carried in a clear big freezer zip-lock so all can see decorated with barney stickers and streamers

include a few embarrassing pictures of the kid...saying "looking good, baby..enjoy your lunch..I've got an even better dinner planned. I made you extra food for lunch so you can share it with your school friends--kiss kiss"

come into the class right before lunch with bathrobe, slippers, , curlers in hair, smoking a cigarette and say you forgot to give him/her a spoon and hand it to 'em

to play with include a squeaky baby toy-- Barney or some similar character..

Answer 2

Ok! The sandwich has to be cream cheese and jelly on seeded rye bread, and cut into the silhouette of Hello Kitty (for the embarrassment factor).

The salty thing should be pre-prepared Cup Noodles, but with the broth poured off.

The sweet thing should be a banana, but one that is 50% black.

As a bonus, how about a cold hush puppy from Long John Silver's Fish & Chips?

And, in the thermos, buttermilk.

This whole luncheon should be packed in a small basket that has been spray-painted gold, and when opened, a humiliating note from Mom should pop up into full view.

Answer 3

Main Dish: Two day old chicken that was shoved in the back of the fridge, in between two pieces of dry rye bread, with provolone cheese, limp lettuce, Dijon mustard, and ALMOST yellow mayonnaise.

Something Salty: 1 Soft-Boiled Egg covered in salt

Something Sweet: Rock-hard pralines and an almost black banana

Drink: Pocari Sweat (a Japanese sports drink that tastes like metallic Gatorade)

Presentation: In a five year old Power Rangers lunchbox with Velcro that doesn't really work
- A note that says: "Dear (insert poor child's name here)
I don't worry, I bleached your boxers, so now they won't be pink anymore! Don't forget to brush your teeth after this meal! Remember if you don't you'll get gingivitis!
Mommy *heart* (name)"
- Lunch box is labeled with the nickname you had when you were five

Answer 4

I dont know if I can top some of those.. but I will sure try...lol

Sandwich-- A couple slices of overly garliced, home maid yeast bread with potted meat, pickles, mayonniase, couple slices of banana, and a dab of salsa.
Salty-- just throw in the packet of salt that comes with the frozen soft pretzels... save the pretzels for later.
Sweet-- a frozen toaster strudle... it should thaw in time, smother it in peanut butter and honey before putting it in a baggie..
drink-- since we are running late just grab dads flat 3 day old bottle half full of "dew", grab the closest glasses from the night before flat coke, tea, juice...(leave the clabbored milk out, dont want to be picking them up early)
I would say for a girl- wrap it up in a pair of dads old boxers (he only wore them once) and tie it to a stick, for her to carry over her shoulder ... Add a note that says, mom and dad love you, grandma is picking you up, we gotta take the wheels off the new house this afternoon...love ya fart head.
for a boy--depending on how "gifted" mom is... place everything in the "cups" of an old bikini top. Tie it together with some pretty ribbon holding a note card that says... hope you enjoy your stay with Grandma tonight, remember she cooks worse then mom so you better eat up now.. see ya tomorrow

Answer 5

First, the container: either a greasy Auto Zone paper bag or a rusty metal lunchbox from goodwill (like I had)

a watercress, purple onion, and head cheese sandwich on two heels of wonder bread
dried seaweed chips for something salty
two squares of chocolate ex lax for something sweet
Clam juice to wash it down.
Then, at the bottom of the bag, a clean pair of underwear (because of the ex lax)
Nothing else says love quite as well

Answer 6

Liverwurst and onion, with brown whole grain mustard, on a seeded rye bun. Accompanied by salt and vinegar chips, with a side of dried prunes. To drink, a thermos of green herbal tea. For fun, one of the nutritional bars they sell at the gym. All carried in my fathers old institutional black lunch box, with the rounded top that holds the thermos. It's a bit beaten up, but it still has that great spring loaded clasp lock designed to trap and cut the circulation off in at least one finger. I'd be sure to tuck in one of those "study your multiplication tables" notes stuck to a copy of one, wrapped in and around the sandwich.

Answer 7

Rotten Banana and Salt and Vinegar Chips (most disgusting thing I have ever eaten). Prune Juice.

For a boy: carried in the most hideous purse you can find at the Thirft Store.

Answer 8

I LOVE IT!
A sardine sandwhich on moldy rye bread wrapped in wax paper that wont stay sealed,side of spinach loaded w/vinegar wrapped in saran wrap that won't cling shut,sweetned dry prunes for dessert we'll just throw them loose in the bottom of the brown paper lunch bag which we've used for all the lunches for the past 4 days.And to quinch that dying thirst we'll have a nice glass of orange metamusil served in a clear tippy cup. YUM YUM,The alternative menu includes:greasy grimy gopher guts,chopped up monkey meat,irdy dirty birdie feet and french fried eye balls. GOT A FORK?

Answer 9

A sardine sandwich on whole wheat bread-olives-lemon pie in an old stained plastic bowl and buttermilk in a thermos- packed in a in a plastic bag like you get from the grocery store! sandwich wrapped in plain brown paper! Throw in a cold biscuit with onion and mustard on it! mom could write on a note be sure to eat every bite i love you and want to keep you Strong and healthy!

Answer 10

Pickled herring in a plastic bag with a kiwi left whole, Grapefruit juice also in a plastic bag and unsalted potato chips just thrown in the bag with a note from mom just to top it all off.