How much should I spend on an engagement ring? I don't have a traditional salary.?

Question

Hi everyone,

I'm going to ask my girlfriend to marry me. I couldn't be happier.

But, there's the ring question. I'm a software entrepreneur. Sometimes I make money, sometimes I lose it. This year I'll probably lose about $250K. It turns out that jewlers won't pay you $40K to take a ring from them.

Luckily last year, I killed myself and made plenty of money. But, I have no idea what to spend. My girlfriend and I love each other and she'd be happy if I got her a toy plastic ring: We're very modest folks. But, my theory isn't that the ring matters to much to her, it's more of a signal to her friends. So, I figure I should get something nice.

If I wanted, I could drop half a million on the ring and not sweat it. But that would be plainly absurd. If we're traveling, I'd worry someone would cut of her finger. But I don't want to do something cheap either.

So, dear answerers, what do you think is reasonable? No sweet "whatever would make you happy" answers please. Thanks.

Answer 1

Well the rule goes. You are supposed to spend 3 months salary on the engagment ring. however, that isn't always possible. And on the price, that depends on where you get it and how good the quality of diamond. If you go to a really expensive place, Tiffanys you could pay 50,000 for a 15,000 ring at Zales. If the diamond is perfect it will cost more than if the diamond is 'flawed'. I would say go to a jewlery store that is well known and buy a 1 carrot solitare in her choice of shapes. That way you wont be so stressed on how much to spend. You will know what you want and can get it, no matter the price. My husband bought me a 4000 dollar ring on a 35,000 a year salary. And I would have been just as happy with a 50 dollar one. good luck and congrats.

Answer 2

I still have political trouble with how the diamond mines are run and how the workers are abused so no way I would want to wear a new diamond no matter how much it cost. 40 years ago I chose a jade band set into a gold band that I could wear as both engagement and wedding ring, now I probably wouldn't that either what with the politics of asia bein what it is. Maybe I would look for an older ring at a pawn shop that I could have set in a new setting.

Answer 3

By reading your question, you mention wanting to have something to show to your wife's friends. Even though you think that your wife will not be picky, I urge you to have her personal tastes on the top of your list.

Since money is not an issue for you, don't think of this problem in terms of price--the value of an object doesn't lie in how much it costs, after all! For example, you can get a "better" ring for less money in a lot of cases.

Pick a ring with a style that your wife would appreciate and want for the long term. Being thoughtful in this respect will mean a lot to her. If she likes it, her friends will like it all the more (trust me on this one). If you have no idea what she likes, find something you like! After all, it sounds like you two will soon be married, and being both "modest folk", it sounds like you guys have a good feel for each other.

It will be easy for you to find a ring that everyone likes--focus on the ring, and don't bring money into it. Also, don't feel too pressured; if you guys find a better ring later, you can always get her a different one. Who says you can't be flexible? It's your happiness that counts the most!

Answer 4

My husband spent about 800 on my ring when we had just turned 21. I absolutely love it and get compliments on it all the time. YOu really don't have to spend a whole lot to get a nice ring. Most jewelry stores will also let you trade up at a later date too so if you're having a good year and you guys want to switch it then it's not a big deal. (Not that I'd ever trade mine!) And in my opinion you really should pick the ring. To me it takes away from the moment if you ask and then say "ok get in the car and let's go get the ring"

Answer 5

My fiance is also an entrepreneur in web design/elearning and his income varies. Last year he made probably $30,000...this year he has made over $100,000. We came up with a budget together and chose a ring together....the one I picked was less than $2000 (although we got a good deal and it is "worth" considerably more). It's absolutely perfect..I almost went bigger and couldn't be more happier that I didn't. Trust me, if she's modest she is NOT going to be happy with a 2 carat ring on her finger. It will most likely maker her uncomfortable.

Spend what you can afford, and what she will like. I think the best thing to do is to have her pick it out, but if she's extremely traditional, she'll want you to do it. If she's modest, don't get something huge and gaudy...maybe a simple solitaire....75-1.0 carats? You WILL need to find out what shape diamond she likes....if she hasn't told you, as one of her friends.

Answer 6

There is not any formula out there to tell you what you "should spend." That two month's salary thing is a marketing gimmick and nothing more.

I personally recommend the rings at greenkarat.com, they are good for the environment b/c they're recycled.

You will also have to do serious research if you want to avoid conflict diamonds/blood diamonds. Many women these days do not want diamonds at all-- they are boycotting due to being concerned about these issues.

If you are modest folks, I imagine she would want a more modest-looking ring.

Answer 7

Well my usual advice is to purchase something similar to her friends. However something about your description made me thing she might be ok with alittle "out of the box".

Here are three suggestions for women who don't feel they have anything to prove to their peers.

Ask your mother/grandmother if there is a "family" ring that you could give to pass on traditions.

Or find a beautiful antique engagement ring, something beautiful and artistic from the past.

Or have something designed from start to finish just for her.

I don't think money is the issue in your case, so start with the idea and pay what it takes.

Best wishes.

Answer 8

The engagement and wedding rings should, and in most cases are, the most important possession woman have. Or at least that's what I think.

If you can't decide how much to spend on her, take her to the jewelry store and let her pick out the ring. Just because you're the one proposing, don't you want to make sure she gets a ring that she'll love?

Answer 9

Have you thought about using a ring from the gum machines to ask and maybe just tell her that you couldn't find a ring that would be good enough for her so you would like her to pick it out so she will have the perfect ring for her.... that is what my husband did for me and I loved it because he took my taste in rings into consideration and I ended up falling for a ring that wasn't even in the bridal section and cost alot less then what we were looking at spending. Congrats!

Answer 10

You want to really surprise her? Plan a day of going around to the local jewelers and find out what she finds to be the ring of her fancy, If she indicates that she likes one of these that she sees while you are there. then there is two ways to go about it you can porpoise to her right there and buy the rings, or Buy the rings later and then propose to her. The romantic is to take to the jewelers and get her sized by the person at the counter and try on a few of what soot's her fancy by then you will know which direction you will take because nature has a way of letting us know.