My ex-boyfirend is 34 and he feels the pressure of getting married and have kids in the next 2 year. He's dating someone who's 29 now. Do guys really fell the pressure around that age?
2006-09-26 18:39:49 · 11 answers · asked by Slevin L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes. I am a male; I have a lot of male friends; I belonged to a fraternity in college and have remained close with a lot of my brothers. I have a large data pool on which to base my statements.
There are two basic times where males feel pressure to get married.
The first is right around graduation. Depending on the location and the female to male ratio, it can be at high school graduation. For example, Wyoming has a horrible female to male ratio. Males realize this and therefore try to marry their high school sweethearts the weekend following graduation. However , except for locations like Wyoming, the usual time is right at college graduation. We used to call it "senioritis". Upon entering their senior year of college, many males realize that college represents the best chance they have of finding an intelligent, compatible, classy female. Therefore they go to extremes to cement their relationships so they get married right after college graduation. (I did not say this is a rational frame of mind. Nor am I saying that I agree with these males. I'm just relating to you what I observed.)
The second time a male feels pressure to get married is after they turn thirty. Women may think about their biological clock; men think in terms of their "age" or maturity clock. Yes, it's true that males can assist in producing children at a older age than women (but actually sperm "health" degenerates with age and there is an increase for birth defects.). But most men don't have a vision of being 40 or 50 before having children. They see themselves as playing with their children while still being relatively young men.
Once males start to get into their 40's and 50's they start to think more about retirement funds than about just starting to have children.
By the way, I am speaking just about the US. Even though I'm a US citizen, I was born in England and lived in Spain for a while (air force brat). I think Europeans have a more rational approach to marriage. First, they realize that not everyone gets married. Americans assume that everyone will get married - it's part of the "american dream". Second I think Europeans concentrate more on being financially ready than Americans do. Americans will marry for love and never take finances, family compatibility and other factors into consideration.
Just in case you are wondering, I married for the first (and hopefully only) time at 49. I felt it was more important to find the right person rather than to "settle". By the time I reached 45, I resigned myself to the idea that I would probably never have children.
2006-09-26 19:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by Spiritual but not religious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of men feeling the pressure to get married and have kids in their mid thirties. When I asked a few that I know, their answer is they don't want to be too old when they have their kids! oh well go figure only a man knows what's inside his head.
2006-09-27 01:45:02 · answer #2 · answered by NY gal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no women chances of getting married drop by 50% at 30 men can have kids into there 80's but women take a chance at 40 i dont worry about those things i just enjoy the here n now they call it the present because its a gift to be alive
2006-09-27 01:45:46 · answer #3 · answered by reno_tony_casino 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is the answer to everything. All you ever need is love,
communication and understanding. That's what I figured out so
far. If you are down, you need to get up and start doing something with
your life. Don't need to be shy, be straight forward and allways say what
you want and expect from the others.
=======
If you have the time, and you are looking for someone, complete this simple
form and start dating.
http://**************/go.php
2006-09-27 01:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All depends on the person, some will say yes and some will say no. I would think it would be about a 50/50 shot. Some guys would worry but some are still sewing their wild oats.
2006-09-27 01:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't live forever. Most guys feel lost if they are not married after 40. Alot of times they don't get married at all. It's like a time bomb.
2006-09-27 01:42:49 · answer #6 · answered by Joe Cooker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they feel the pressure at about 25 and after that they just keep hearing about it from every female who thinks there must be something wrong with a man being single at that point.
2006-09-27 01:42:42 · answer #7 · answered by LORD Z 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is pressure, but not b/c of my age
2006-09-27 01:43:31 · answer #8 · answered by randyken 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. They can have kids anytime until 89 or more.
2006-09-27 01:41:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, a lot of guys do.
2006-09-27 01:46:10 · answer #10 · answered by Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋