2006-09-26 17:50:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Well, i consider these as funny jokes:
A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused. A man comes in and asks the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened that's so horrible?
Farmer: Well, today I was sitting by my cow milking her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Ok, but that's not so bad.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So what happened then?
Farmer: I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket.
Man: Again?
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do then?
Farmer: I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Man: and then?
Farmer: Well, I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail.
Man: Hmmm...
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: So, what did you do?
Farmer: Well, I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in.....
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A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his
courage, he finally goes over to her and asks tentatively.
"Um, Would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?
To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs,
"No, I won't sleep with you tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the
guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks
back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks
over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says,
"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate
student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond
to embarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do
you mean $200?"
2006-09-27 01:20:29 · answer #1 · answered by miracleMB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heres is a ten point selection from my arsenal .......
A guy decides he is going to throw a party, not just any party he wants to have an emotions party, so he tells everyone to come Friday night dressed as there favorite emotion. Friday night comes he gets a knock at the door, it is a girl dressed head to toe in pink feathers, he says ''oh you're tickled pink come on in'' .. a little bit later another knock at the door, it is a guy dressed in a green suit with his face painted green , the guy says ''Hi I'am green with envy'' and walks in ..... several guests arive dressed as different emotions, after quite some time he hears a knock at the door , he opens the door to see two enormous black men buck naked except one has a pear jammed on his penis the other has an eclair jammed on his penis.. The shocked host says ""can I help you'' one of the men answers ""this heres the emotions party right ?"' the host says ""umm well yea, but what are you?"" The guy answers saying '' well I'Am deep in Dis-pear and he is fu*ckin dis-custad'' .......
2006-09-26 19:38:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A really funny joke would be some of the above!! lololol
2006-09-27 05:13:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the funniest joke ever, but I cannot tell it, as it violates Community Standards. It is also the most disgusting
2006-09-26 17:51:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Asking people: "Do you put lotion on your a s s?!"
If they say yes, don't say nothing.
If they say no, you say: "That's why it's cracked!!!"
I also like to tell girls this one:
I heard that you were kissing your boyfriend last winter. It was cold and you were really busy kissing him. Suddenly you pushed him back and said: Why did you put your gum in my mouth. It's disgusting!. And they he said: Oh, it's not gum. I'm just a little sick!!!
They grossed out, laugh, they love and hate it!!!
2006-09-26 17:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by snak3s2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.
The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."
2006-09-26 17:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by cjude87 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yo momma so fat her belt size is the equator! lol yo momma so black when she go outside at night she dissapears! lol those are some funny jokes!
2006-09-26 17:53:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
www.jokes.com www.riddles.com
Whats the diffrence between a blonde and a rooster?
A rooster says cockadoodooldoo and a blonde says cockd'll do
2006-09-26 17:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 blondes walk into a bar. You would think one of them would've seen it.
2006-09-26 19:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did the blind man say as he pased the fish market?
Good morning Girls.
2006-09-26 17:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋